God I Feel Modern Tonight: A 20-Question Poetry Quiz

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Dive deeper into Catherine Cohen’s whirlwind of modern anxiety, gallows humor, and messy desire. This quiz spans the entire collection—from early-morning existential dread to road-trip ruminations—and mixes multiple-choice and short-answer formats to check how carefully you’ve absorbed every poem.

Before you start, revisit the full collection overview, browse in-depth character questions and answers, or read the ending explained.

1. Plot/Sequence – Chapter 2

In “poem I wrote after I woke up at 6 a.m. as a joke,” the speaker imagines a future where:

A) People always arrive early to therapy
B) Restaurants seat you only when your entire party arrives
C) Everyone is twenty-five minutes late to their therapy session
D) Smartphones have been replaced by podcasts

2. Plot/Sequence – Chapter 34

What happens immediately after the speaker’s ex helps her assemble a new couch?

A) They watch a Brian Eno documentary
B) He leaves to buy a hat
C) He breaks up with her on the couch
D) She gives him a book she hasn’t read

3. Plot/Sequence – Chapter 18

In “modern love poem,” the speaker wants her lover to tell her that:

A) She should follow politics more closely
B) Having sex with her is the end of the world
C) Their love will outlast the government
D) He will leave the world for her

4. Plot/Sequence – Chapter 20

After doing the dishes, what fantasy does the speaker describe?

A) Becoming a famous actress
B) Being splayed on a canopy bed while her lover fetches Kit Kats and a seltzer in the rain
C) Never washing dishes again
D) Performing in a Broadway play about her life

5. Plot/Sequence – Chapter 42

What extreme thought crosses the speaker’s mind while her lover hangs curtains?

A) She wants to tear the curtains down
B) She could die if he looks at her
C) She despises interior decoration
D) She feels completely indifferent

6. Plot/Sequence – Chapter 43

A doctor explains the speaker’s hip pain by saying:

A) She has a stress fracture from running
B) She has weak gluteal muscles
C) She sits at a desk too long
D) She needs a hip replacement

7. Plot/Sequence – Chapter 53

After the new Taylor Swift album comes out, the speaker’s father says:

A) He is proud she cleaned her apartment
B) He is proud she finished the leftovers
C) He bought her the vinyl edition
D) He wishes she would write a song

8. Plot/Sequence – Chapter 31

What at the concert makes the speaker feel old?

A) The venue’s grainy acoustics
B) A younger girl wearing a shirt that says “suck my ass”
C) Not recognizing any opening band
D) Standing for four hours straight

9. Character Motivation – Chapter 2

Why is the speaker skeptical when her therapist says she should want to grow?

A) She believes growth is a capitalist myth
B) She doubts that growth actually reduces suffering
C) She already feels fully grown
D) She wants to prove the therapist wrong

10. Character Motivation – Chapter 25

Why does the speaker apologize for bailing on a yoga booty ballet class?

A) She got stuck on the C train
B) She was hungover from a rooftop party
C) She didn’t sleep well and is still upset about sleeping with someone culturally clueless
D) She forgot to set an alarm

11. Character Motivation – Chapter 39

What makes the speaker loudly announce she wants a boyfriend?

A) A friend’s engagement party
B) Six straight days of rain in New York
C) A romantic movie marathon
D) Her therapist’s homework assignment

12. Character Motivation – Chapter 42

Why does the speaker call her intense relationship a “sick cosmic experiment”?

A) It forces her to confront childhood trauma
B) It’s a bet among her friends
C) It distracts her from her creative work
D) It involves literal astronomy

13. Character Motivation – Chapter 43

What compels the speaker to call someone and ask if they miss her?

A) She wants to plan a vacation together
B) She knows the question will confirm that they don’t
C) A mutual friend dared her
D) She is practicing vulnerability

14. Theme/Symbol – Recurring Metaphor

Which metaphor does Cohen frequently use to describe mundane actions?

A) Life is a video game
B) Life is a dream
C) Life is a performance or play
D) Life is a mathematical equation

15. Theme/Symbol – Chapter 36

The poem “every good song is named ‘dreams’” sets up a contrast between:

A) Daydreams and nightmares
B) Romantic longing and abrasive urban noise
C) Youthful optimism and adult cynicism
D) Classical music and pop

16. Theme/Symbol – Chapter 43

What emotional state does the bay window create for the speaker?

A) Pure joy
B) Claustrophobia
C) Happy to be sad
D) Anger at domesticity

17. Theme – Digital Life

Across many poems, the speaker’s relationship with social media and her phone reflects:

A) A source of political enlightenment
B) A tool for self-education
C) A cycle of anxiety, performance, and validation-seeking
D) A harmless distraction from real problems

18. Synthesis – Love and Relationships

How does the speaker’s depiction of romantic relationships generally evolve over the course of the collection?

A) She moves from casual irony to deep cynicism and gives up on love
B) She remains purely sarcastic about dating
C) She shifts from detached, humorous encounters to a messy, conflicted attachment
D) She becomes a traditional romantic who dreams of marriage

Short answer: Describe the shift in one sentence.

19. Synthesis – The Title Phrase

The line “god I feel modern tonight” (from Chapter 43) captures the speaker’s self-awareness of being:

Short answer: What identity does this phrase reveal?

20. Synthesis – Humor as a Tool

What role does humor play in Cohen’s handling of anxiety, heartbreak, and bodily shame?

A) It is purely for entertainment and never touches pain
B) It deflects serious emotion so the poems stay light
C) It serves as a coping mechanism that highlights the absurdity and rawness of her experience
D) It mocks others who suffer

Short answer: Name one instance where humor undercuts a painful confession.

Answer Key

C – Everyone is twenty-five minutes late to their therapy session. In the poem she says, “in the future everyone will be 25 minutes late / to their 45 minute therapy session.” The restaurant detail is also present but the question focused on therapy.
C – He breaks up with her on the couch. The title and outline confirm that after assembly, “then broke up with me on it.”
B – She wants to hear that fucking her is the end of the world. The poem contrasts civic duty with a cataclysmic sexual confession.
B – She fantasizes about a canopy bed, silk sheets, rain, and a lover fetching two Kit Kats and a black cherry seltzer. The title frames this as a revelation after doing dishes.
B – She could die if he looks at her while hanging curtains. The poem says, “my god I could die / and will / if you look at me / while you hang up the curtains.”
B – The doctor says her glutes are “scientifically weak” and that’s why her hip hurts. The poem opens with this revelation.
B – Her dad is proud she finished the leftovers. The poem opens, “my dad just said he was proud of me / for finishing the leftovers.”
B – A younger girl wearing a “suck my ass” t‑shirt makes her feel old. She remarks, “I felt old,” even though she knows she isn’t actually old.
B – She doubts that growth reduces suffering. After the therapist says she will suffer less, she asks, “what is she trying to prove?”
C – She didn’t sleep well and is reeling from a hookup with someone who didn’t know Greta Gerwig. The poem lists these as reasons.
B – Six days of rain in New York. She says, “the rain made me think I wanted a boyfriend.”
C – The relationship distracts her from her work. She calls it “some kind of sick cosmic experiment / to take me away from my work.”
B – She calls because asking “Do you miss me?” is “the best way / to know you don’t.” She wants confirmation of her suspicion.
C – Life is a performance or play. From the title “I was like…okay I’m in a play” to the actress comparison after the breakup, this metaphor runs throughout.
B – Romantic longing vs. abrasive urban noise. The poem juxtaposes desire with the screech of a street‑cleaning machine and an involuntary scream.
C – Happy to be sad. The line “this bay window makes me / happy to be sad” captures a bittersweet comfort.
C – A cycle of anxiety, performance, and validation-seeking. Whether checking her phone, Instagramming buildings, or crafting a self‑timer nude, the speaker performs for an unseen audience and craves digital approval.
Short answer sample: She moves from witty, detached dating anecdotes to a vulnerable, obsessive entanglement, ultimately acknowledging the messiness as genuine feeling. (Answers will vary but should note a shift from performance to deeper, conflicted attachment.)
Short answer sample: It reveals a person who is hyper‑conscious of her own performance—simultaneously connected to technology and disconnected from authentic presence, wearing modernity like a costume. (Accept answers that capture ironic self‑awareness and the paradox of being “present” yet distracted.)
C – It serves as a coping mechanism that highlights absurdity and rawness. One example: right after a visceral breakup poem, she compares her cheerful mood to an actress’s, or when she declares jealousy is “like swallowing a house that you just set on fire.” The humor doesn’t erase the pain; it makes the confession feel dangerously honest.