Chapter 23: poem I wrote after I got scolded at the whole foods for stealing a meatball from the salad bar
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
The chapter is a short, confessional poem spoken by an unnamed woman. She begins by recalling past frustration with an ex-boyfriend who was slow to plug in her iPhone charger. She then reveals that listening to “Lovefool” by the Cardigans on repeat for three days actually changes her personality. In the present moment, she overhears a male passenger in her Uber Pool admit on the phone that he has “low‑key misogyny issues.” The poem closes with a sardonic “Lifehack!”—she can make herself orgasm with her own hand, a statement of self‑sufficiency and defiance.
Key Events
- The speaker recalls being angry at an ex‑boyfriend over a trivial delay with an iPhone charger.
- She describes using the song “Lovefool” as a tool to reshape her personality.
- She overhears a man in her Uber Pool confessing to “low‑key misogyny issues.”
- She ends the poem with a boast about her ability to give herself sexual pleasure.
Character Development
The narrator, who appears consistently throughout Catherine Cohen’s collection, shows a sharp, humorous self‑awareness. In this poem she moves from retroactive annoyance at a past partner to a present‑tense rejection of male‑centered validation. The final “Lifehack!” implies a shift from relationship‑dependent anger toward autonomous satisfaction.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Female Autonomy: The closing line reclaims sexual pleasure as something the speaker can provide for herself, countering the misogyny she overhears.
- Pop Culture as Identity Tool: The Cardigans’ “Lovefool” is used deliberately to alter the speaker’s persona, suggesting that modern identity is performed and curated through music.
- Casual Misogyny: The Uber Pool listener does nothing to confront the man’s admission; the poem merely notes it, exposing how normalized such statements are.
- Trivial Frustrations: The iPhone charger argument underscores how small grievances can mask deeper relationship dysfunctions.
Why This Chapter Matters
This poem is a tight, witty demonstration of Catherine Cohen’s signature style: raw, everyday observations delivered with deadpan humor. It crystallizes the book’s central tension between seeking male approval and cultivating self‑reliance. The poem’s brevity mirrors the fleeting, overheard nature of the misogyny it critiques, making the reader sit with the discomfort of a casual confession. It also reinforces the collection’s overall arc from romantic disappointment toward personal empowerment.
Study Questions and Answers
1. How does the reference to “Lovefool” by the Cardigans function in the poem?
The speaker deliberately uses the song to “get” a certain personality—likely a more naive, lovestruck persona. This illustrates how pop culture can be weaponized to fit social expectations, and it sets up the later rejection of that need for male validation.
2. Why does the poet choose to end with a “Lifehack!” about self‑pleasure?
The exclamation provides a sharp, humorous counterpoint to the man’s “low‑key misogyny issues.” It asserts the speaker’s bodily autonomy and competence, implying that she does not require a misogynistic partner to fulfill her needs.
3. What does the Uber Pool overhearing reveal about contemporary sexism?
The confession is made casually on a phone call, heard but not challenged by the speaker. This suggests that misogyny is so routine that it is openly admitted in public spaces, yet often goes unchecked. The poem holds up a mirror to that normalisation without offering a solution, forcing the reader to sit with the problem.