Chapter 47: “poem I wrote after I listened to my Spotify top songs…” — Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

The speaker describes a self‑destructive loop set off by revisiting her Spotify top songs of 2019, a playlist that “undoes” the progress she claimed to have made in therapy the previous year. She opens with a sardonic tribute to antidepressants that actually worsen mood and cause sexual side effects, a complaint she frames as a darkly comic “where do I sign?” She recalls two past attempts at self‑improvement: trying to unlearn jealousy in 2015 and taking barre classes. The poem ends with a bleak resolution for the coming year: she will buy something and feel better for exactly twelve minutes. The entire piece is a tight, ironic commentary on how consumer culture, medication, and digital nostalgia conspire to defeat genuine emotional growth.

Key Events

The speaker recalls listening to her 2019 Spotify top songs, an act that immediately undoes her therapeutic gains.
She sarcastically praises antidepressants that make her feel worse and cause difficulty climaxing.
She references her attempt to “unlearn jealousy” in 2015.
She mentions having tried barre class (a workout).
She declares that next year she will buy a product and experience a brief, twelve‑minute lift in mood.

Character Development

The speaker—Cohen’s poetic persona—is already established as a woman heavily immersed in internet culture and self‑deprecating humor. In this poem, she deepens her role as someone who is knowingly caught in a cycle of half‑hearted self‑help. She can name her failures (jealousy, exercise, therapy, medication) but cannot escape them. The poem shows her ironic acceptance: she will continue to pursue short‑term fixes (shopping) rather than commit to the long, difficult work of change. This is not growth, but a candid admission of stagnation.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs Actually Evidenced Here

Therapy undone by technology: Spotify’s year‑end recap acts as a trigger that reverses the speaker’s psychological progress.
Medication ambivalence: Antidepressants are portrayed as a cruel joke—prescribed to help but making things worse and diminishing sexual pleasure.
Consumerism as shallow therapy: The promise of a new purchase (“buy something”) is held up as a pathetic but honest substitute for real healing.
Futility of quick fixes: Barre class and the “unlearn jealousy” project are listed as failed attempts, reinforcing the motif that effort without sustained commitment yields nothing.
Dark comedy as coping: The entire poem uses hyperbole and self‑mockery to process pain, a motif seen throughout the collection.

Why This Chapter Matters

This brief poem distills a central tension in God I Feel Modern Tonight: the gap between self‑awareness and genuine transformation. Cohen’s speaker knows exactly how absurd her coping mechanisms are (Spotify playlists, shopping, bad pills), yet she continues to rely on them. The chapter matters because it exposes how easily media and consumer culture co‑opt therapeutic language, reducing growth to a series of hashtags and playlists. It also gives the reader permission to laugh at the speaker’s predicament while recognizing its sadness.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does the speaker’s Spotify top songs of 2019 “undo” her therapy? The playlist presumably carries memories of the emotional state she was in during that year. Listening to those songs re‑immerses her in past feelings, bypassing the rational frameworks she built in therapy. The poem implies that music has a powerful, immediate emotional pull that logic cannot easily counter.

2. How does the poem critique consumer culture? The final lines—“I’m going to buy something / and feel better for 12 minutes”—mock the idea that purchasing a product can provide real happiness. The exact, short duration highlights how fleeting and shallow retail therapy is, and the speaker’s deadpan delivery suggests she knows this but sees no alternative.

3. What role does the line about antidepressants that “make it harder to cum” play in the poem’s tone? It is a deliberately crude and vulnerable joke. By pairing a serious side effect with a flippant “honey, where do I sign?!”, the speaker creates dark comedy that paradoxically makes the complaint more relatable. It signals that she is frustrated with medical solutions that come with hidden costs, and that humor is her shield against despair.