Chapter 14: “poem I wrote after I ruined the bathroom at Au Bon Pain” – Summary & Analysis
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
In this brief poem, the speaker declares she has not listened to a new song since college and refuses to start now. She describes her preferred film genre: a woman in a wig trying to produce a male heir for her stoic husband. The music she likes comes from a man with a long beard whispering near a tree. She then notes two contemporary scenes she finds tiresome: a handsome guy attempting comedy and a polyamorous couple taking a cooking class. Finally, she observes that as she ages, Instagram becomes an ideal platform to watch her camp friend’s fiancé wakeboard.
The poem satirizes the speaker’s own stubborn nostalgia and her dismissal of current trends. It also critiques the performative aspects of modern relationships and social media, where mundane or absurd moments are broadcast for consumption. The title—referring to ruining a bathroom at Au Bon Pain—adds a layer of personal messiness that mirrors the speaker’s cultural disdain.
Key Events
- The speaker refuses to engage with new music or films outside a narrow, almost archaic preference.
- She lists two contemporary scenarios that annoy her: a handsome man doing comedy and a polyamorous couple taking a cooking class.
- She acknowledges that Instagram, as she gets older, only serves to show her camp friends’ fiancés engaged in leisure activities like wakeboarding.
- The poem’s title implies a prior, unnamed incident (ruining a bathroom at Au Bon Pain) that frames these observations.
Character Development
This chapter advances the speaker’s persona as a jaded, self-aware millennial or older Gen Xer who clings to the culture of her youth. She is not shy about naming what she dislikes, but her complaints are delivered with enough irony that they read more as a confession of her own limitations than as genuine malice. The poem reveals a character who is comfortable with her own stagnation—she will not listen to new songs, will not embrace new relationship models—and who uses Instagram not to connect but to observe the lives of distant acquaintances. This persona aligns with the book’s broader voice: witty, vulnerable, and critical of the very culture she inhabits.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Nostalgia as a shield – The refusal to listen to new music or watch modern films suggests that nostalgia protects the speaker from change. She prefers the familiar absurdities of historical romance (a woman in a wig) over contemporary dating rituals.
- Critique of performative modern relationships – The “polyamorous couple taking a cooking class” and the “handsome guy trying to do comedy” are presented as clichés of the current era. They represent efforts to curate a desirable identity rather than live authentically.
- Social media as a window (and a trap) – Instagram becomes “an amazing place to watch / your camp friend’s fiancé wakeboard.” The speaker acknowledges the voyeuristic appeal of seeing others’ curated lives, yet the observation carries a tone of resignation: this is all social media offers her now.
- The ruined bathroom – While not described in the poem, the title’s bathroom incident functions as a symbol of embarrassment or mishap, perhaps linking the speaker’s internal messiness to a physical one. It reminds the reader that behind the cultural critique, the speaker herself is flawed and can “ruin” things.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter 14 is a concentrated dose of Catherine Cohen’s poetic style: short, punchy, and laced with cultural commentary. It crystallizes several recurring tensions in the book: the pull of nostalgia versus the pressure to be modern, the exhaustion with curated identities, and the loneliness that underlies ironic observation. The poem also demonstrates how Cohen uses humble, even silly premises (a ruined bathroom) to open a window into deeper anxieties about aging and belonging. In the arc of the collection, this chapter reinforces that the speaker’s sharp eye is turned both outward at society and inward at her own complicity.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does the speaker refuse to listen to new music since college? What does this refusal reveal?
It suggests she associates the music of her college years with a time of identity formation, and she is unwilling to disrupt that sense of self. The refusal also signals a broader resistance to cultural novelty, making her a character who defines herself against the present.
2. How does the poem critique modern relationship structures?
It presents the “polyamorous couple taking a cooking class” as a cliché—something performed for social media rather than a genuine lifestyle. By grouping this with the “handsome guy trying to do comedy,” the speaker implies that many contemporary relationship and career choices have become hollow, content-driven performances.
3. What is the significance of the title, especially the phrase “after I ruined the bathroom at Au Bon Pain”?
The title frames the poem as a second act: something embarrassing happened, and the speaker is now processing it. The “ruined bathroom” is a physical mess that parallels the cultural messiness she describes. It also humanizes her—she is not just an observer but someone who creates problems, adding vulnerability to her critique.