poem I wrote after we enjoyed crying
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
In this brief free-verse poem, the speaker adopts a cynical, self-deprecating voice. They claim that no one is ever sad to leave Los Angeles and openly refuse to learn a practical adult skill like parallel parking. The speaker then confesses to lying about giving up dating: after making that declaration, they attended a rooftop party, drank seven beers, and repeatedly asked about a tall stranger. The poem closes with the line “you can’t love someone else until you love yourself JK,” undercutting the well‑known self‑love mantra with an ironic “just kidding.” Through this narrative, the poem explores romantic desperation, performative emotional detachment, and the gap between stated intentions and actual behavior.
Key Events
- The speaker refuses to learn parallel parking, signaling resistance to mundane adult responsibilities.
- They admit to lying about quitting dating.
- They attend a rooftop party, drink heavily, and fixate on a tall person.
- The poem ends with the ironic dismissal of the self‑love prerequisite for romance.
Character Development
- The Speaker: Revealed as self‑aware yet unable to resist romantic pursuit. The lie about not dating and the immediate contradiction at the party show emotional impulsiveness and a willingness to perform detachment. The final “JK” suggests they are mocking both the self‑help cliché and their own attempts to rationalize their behavior.
- The Tall Person: Remains an unnamed object of curiosity, representing the speaker’s transient romantic interest.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Romantic Desperation: The speaker’s actions—lying about giving up dating, then immediately seeking someone at a party—highlight a compulsive need for connection.
- Self‑Deception and Performance: The lie and the party behavior illustrate how people present curated, contradictory versions of themselves.
- Irony of the Self‑Love Cliché: The last line directly parodies the pop‑psychology adage that one must love oneself before loving another, suggesting the advice is hollow or used as an excuse.
- Los Angeles as a Setting: The opening dismissal of sadness about leaving LA frames the city as a place of emotional poses and transience, matching the poem’s tone.
Why This Chapter Matters
This twenty‑fourth chapter is a quintessential example of Catherine Cohen’s poetic voice: confessional, darkly humorous, and sharply critical of millennial dating culture. The poem’s brevity and conversational style mirror the fragmented, self‑conscious nature of modern romantic interactions. It also serves as a thematic pivot in the collection, moving from broader social observations to a tighter focus on personal failure and ironic self‑awareness.
Study Questions and Answers
1. What is the significance of the speaker lying about not dating?
The lie reveals the speaker’s internal conflict between a desire to appear emotionally self‑sufficient and an actual craving for romantic attention. By immediately going to a party and inquiring about a tall person, they demonstrate that the declaration of giving up dating is a performance, not a genuine commitment.
2. How does the final “JK” affect the meaning of the poem?
The “JK” (just kidding) retroactively deflates the self‑love message, turning it into a punchline. It suggests that the speaker does not truly believe in the cliché; rather, they are mocking the pressure to follow it and acknowledging the absurdity of using it as a shield against vulnerability.
3. Why does the speaker mention refusing to learn parallel parking?
Parallel parking is a mundane adult responsibility. Refusing to learn it aligns with the speaker’s broader resistance to grown‑up stability and emotional maturity. The detail establishes a character who is deliberately careless, which parallels their haphazard approach to relationships.