Chapter summaries God I Feel Modern Tonight Catherine Cohen

Chapter 56: “poem I wrote after I tried to write a tweet about sparkling water” Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Note on Content

This chapter is a short, confessional poem. It touches on embarrassment, desire, and the gap between online performance and real-life moments. No major plot spoilers—but the poem itself reveals the speaker’s intimate thoughts.

Summary

The speaker begins by describing a peculiar “disease” of not having watched a full feature film since the aughts, and she self-consciously notes her own word choice (“aughts”). She then recalls a social scenario where she mocked another woman for bringing deviled eggs to an event—only to eat six of them herself. The poem cycles through humiliation and then satisfaction, followed by a long walk home in spring. Turning to romance, the speaker declares love for sex and for the anticipatory moments before it—specifically the “double vodka soda leg touch.” The poem ends with an aching question: “Is it possible to miss everything at once?” This final line encapsulates a pervasive modern anxiety about missing out, nostalgic longing, and emotional overload.

Key Events

  • The speaker confesses she hasn’t watched a full movie since the aughts and playfully calls attention to her vocabulary.
  • She recounts a party incident where she criticized someone for bringing deviled eggs, then ate six herself.
  • The poem transitions from that humiliation to a feeling of satisfaction after a spring walk.
  • She expresses love for sex and the ritual of anticipation (drink, leg touch).
  • The poem closes with a question about missing everything simultaneously.

Character Development

  • The speaker (Catherine Cohen’s persona): Though this is a single short poem, the speaker establishes a vivid, self-deprecating voice. She is aware of her own contradictions—judging others yet partaking in the same behavior. She is comfortable revealing awkward moments, and her capacity to move from embarrassment to satisfaction shows a resilient, reflective nature. The concluding question deepens her persona into someone grappling with a broader modern ache of longing and incompleteness.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs Actually Evidenced Here

  • Performance vs. Reality: The poem originated from a failed attempt to write a tweet (a performative online act). Instead, the speaker produces a raw, honest poem about real-life cringe and pleasure.
  • Self-deprecation and vulnerability: The deviled egg anecdote and the movie-watching confession are offered as small, relatable failures.
  • Anticipation and desire: The “double vodka soda leg touch” symbolizes the charged moment before intimacy. The poet suggests that the build-up can be as powerful as the act itself.
  • Modern nostalgia and FOMO (fear of missing out): The final question “Is it possible to miss everything at once?” ties together multiple threads: missing old movies, missing moments, missing a sense of wholeness. It reflects the fragmented attention of contemporary life.

Why This Chapter Matters

Although brief, this chapter crystallizes many of the collection’s core concerns: the tension between online persona and authentic self, the absurdity of social rituals, and the deep loneliness that can coexist with humor and desire. The poem’s confessional, almost prose-like structure mirrors the way we narrate our own lives in the digital age. Its final line offers a memorable, poignant conclusion that resonates beyond the immediate context of sparkling water and deviled eggs.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does the speaker point out her own use of the word “aughts”? What does this reveal about her awareness of audience?
Answer: By drawing attention to her vocabulary choice (“you don’t see that every day”), the speaker reveals that she is acutely aware of performing for an audience. She expects her words to be noticed and evaluated, which reflects the self-consciousness inherent in social media culture. Even in a poem, she cannot resist commenting on her own language.

2. How does the deviled-eggs anecdote illustrate the poem’s theme of humiliation and satisfaction?
Answer: The speaker first mocks someone for bringing deviled eggs—a socially judgmental act—then eats six of them, which exposes her own hypocrisy and leads to a feeling of humiliation. Yet the humiliation is followed by satisfaction, suggesting that giving in to impulse and admitting fault can be a kind of release. The incident captures the messy, contradictory nature of social behavior.

3. What might the final question “Is it possible to miss everything at once?” mean in the context of the poem?
Answer: The question ties together the various forms of longing in the poem: missing out on movies, missing a past self that watched them, missing the chance to be anywhere else while walking home, and perhaps missing the possibility of a perfect, unembarrassed life. It speaks to the modern experience of trying to hold onto too many memories and desires simultaneously, leading to emotional overwhelm.

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