Kitab and Walima: Communal and Spiritual Dimensions in That Can Be Arranged
What Are the Kitab and Walima?
In Huda Fahmy’s graphic memoir That Can Be Arranged, the kitab (or nikah) and the walima represent the two essential parts of an Islamic wedding. The kitab is the religious ceremony where the marriage contract is signed; the walima is the reception, often held months later. Together they symbolize marriage as both a sacred covenant before God and a communal celebration. Fahmy’s treatment of these events—especially her unexpected behavior at the kitab—turns them into symbols of personal agency, cultural expectations, and spiritual trust.
Literal Meaning and Occurrence
The term kitab literally means “book” or “writing” in Arabic, referring to the written marriage contract. Fahmy explains that the kitab is “the first of the two parts of an Islamic wedding. It’s the religious ceremony where the signing of the marriage contract happens” and is “usually followed by a dope party.” The walima is “the second part of the Islamic wedding that could be held months after the kitab or literally the next day.”
These events occur in Chapter 11. The kitab takes place in a gender-segregated setting: men in one hall, women in another. The women dress up, let their hair down, and dance. Traditionally the bride makes a shy, demure entrance to the sound of zagharit (ululations). Fahmy subverts this: “Much to the embarrassment of my mother, I walked in doing my own zaghrouta.” She and Gehad then sign the contract amid more ululations. The walima happens three months later, a few weeks before she turns 26, where she dances in her white gown, “defying all aunty odds.”
How the Symbol’s Meaning Evolves
From Communal Expectation to Personal Expression
Initially, the kitab and walima appear as standardized rituals—the bride is supposed to be shy and demure. Fahmy’s loud, self-initiated entrance redefines the kitab as a moment of personal assertion. She rejects the passive role expected of her and instead celebrates openly. This echoes her earlier declaration that she would rather stay single than endure a miserable marriage (Chapter 3). The walima, though remembered hazily, becomes a space for joy: she dances, and though the photographer was inexperienced, she cherishes the memory of starting “the next chapter of my life with a man who was worth waiting for.”
From Religious Contract to Relational Foundation
The kitab’s emphasis on the written contract aligns with the Islamic principle that marriage is a covenant witnessed by the community and God. Fahmy’s conversation with Sheikh Z in Chapter 8 highlights how important spiritual compatibility is to her. She tells the sheikh her fears about marrying someone at a higher spiritual level; his advice lifts “a weight I never even knew I carried.” The kitab thus becomes the concrete outcome of that spiritual preparation—a covenant based not on pressure but on mutual readiness.
The Walima as a Communal Seal
The walima, though a party, also serves a communal function. In many Islamic traditions, the walima announces the marriage to the community, inviting shared celebration. Fahmy’s mother plans everything, reflecting family and community expectations. Yet Fahmy’s personal joy—dancing, waiting for Gehad—transforms the walima into a symbol of fulfillment after her long journey of self-love and trust in qadr (divine destiny).
Character Connections
Huda Fahmy (the narrator/protagonist)
Huda’s character arc from low self-esteem to confident agency culminates in these rituals. At the kitab, she literally makes her own noise. She also demonstrates her trust in the process: she didn’t care about wedding planning, letting her mother take charge. Her priority is the marriage itself, not the spectacle.
Huda’s Mother
Huda’s mother is the orchestrator: she plans the bridal shower, surprise bachelorette party, and overall wedding. Her embarrassment at Huda’s zaghrouta reveals generational or cultural expectations about bridal modesty. Yet she supports Huda’s choices, embodying the family expectations theme.
Gehad
Gehad remains a quiet presence during the kitab and walima. He signs the contract alongside Huda. Their relationship builds on chaperoned courtship (see Chapter 10) and a sense of soul-recognition, which Fahmy describes as the Islamic belief that souls meet before earthly life. The kitab formalizes that pre-existing bond.
The Aunties and Community
The aunties represent communal judgment; they are the ones whose odds Huda defies by dancing at her wedding. Their ululations during the kitab and walima underscore the community’s role in witnessing and celebrating.
Theme Connections
- Arranged Versus Forced Marriage: Fahmy clarifies in Chapter 1 that arranged marriage is not forced. The kitab and walima, as voluntary rituals, reinforce that distinction.
- Self-Worth Beyond Marriage: Not caring about wedding details and walking in with her own zaghrouta show that her identity isn’t swallowed by the event.
- Family and Community Expectations: The mother’s planning, the aunties’ judgment, and the gender-segregated parties all reflect community norms.
- Trust in Divine Destiny (Qadr): Huda’s path to Gehad is framed as qadr (Chapter 7). The kitab, as a religious contract, is a human response to that divine will.
- Chaperoned Courtship and Modern Tradition: The kitab follows their CC’d emails and chaperoned dates. It formalizes a relationship that has been conducted within Islamic guidelines.
Study Questions and Answers
1. How does Huda’s behavior at the kitab challenge traditional expectations for a Muslim bride?
Answer: Huda refuses to act shy and demure. She walks in doing her own zaghrouta (ululation) to the embarrassment of her mother, reversing the expected role of a quiet, passive bride. This act asserts her individuality and joy, showing that she can participate in a religious ritual without sacrificing her personality.
2. In what way does the separation of the kitab and walima by three months affect the symbolism of each event?
Answer: The time gap emphasizes that the kitab is the core religious covenant—the marriage is legally and spiritually binding even before the public celebration. The walima, occurring later, becomes a delayed communal party that celebrates an already-existing union. This mirrors the memoir’s theme that the spiritual commitment matters more than the spectacle.
3. How do the gender-segregated spaces at the kitab (men in one hall, women in another) connect to broader themes in the book?
Answer: Gender segregation at the kitab reflects the Islamic guidelines for modesty that Huda navigates throughout her life—no touching, no being alone with the opposite sex (Chapter 3). Yet within the women’s party, there is freedom to let hair down and dance. This shows that modesty rules can coexist with joy, and that communal celebration is still possible within boundaries.
4. What role does Huda’s mother play in the kitab and walima, and what does this reveal about the family dynamics in Huda’s arranged marriage?
Answer: Huda’s mother plans everything—the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and likely the walima—while Huda lets her take charge. This shows Huda’s trust in her family, consistent with the earlier book statement that “their approval meant a lot to me” (Chapter 7). However, Huda still asserts her own choices (like the zaghrouta), revealing a balance between family involvement and personal agency.