Huda’s Father in That Can Be Arranged: The Protective Gatekeeper

Overview

In Huda Fahmy’s graphic memoir That Can Be Arranged, the author’s father plays a quiet but pivotal supporting role. He is an involved parent who screens potential suitors, disapproves of the first proposal after a thorough interrogation, and later conducts a tough interview for the man who becomes Huda’s husband. Although the memoir focuses on Huda’s internal journey, her father’s actions repeatedly influence the plot and reinforce the book’s themes of family involvement, Islamic courtship, and self-worth.

Plot Role and Motivations

Huda’s father serves as the family’s primary evaluator of marriage prospects. When Huda receives her first proposal from a coworker, her father interrogates the suitor and ultimately disapproves. Huda notes that afterward she noticed red flags: controlling behavior, lies, and insults directed at her family. Her father’s rejection of the proposal gave Huda the permission she needed to listen to her gut and say no. This episode reveals his motivation: protecting his daughter from an unhealthy relationship, even when she herself was tempted by the prospect of any marriage.

Later, when Gehad (Huda’s eventual husband) first calls, her father conducts a “tough interview.” Huda describes this interview as part of the standard process. Her father’s approval is a prerequisite for the courtship to move forward. His motivations do not stem from controlling ambition but from a genuine desire to ensure any suitor is worthy of his daughter—a role rooted in Islamic family values where a father (or wali) is responsible for safeguarding his daughter’s wellbeing.

Character Traits Shown Through Actions

From the evidence in the outline and retrieved chapters, we can infer several consistent traits:

Discerning and thorough – He interviews suitors in depth. For the first proposal, the interrogation was so effective that Huda herself began to see the flaws. For Gehad’s interview, it was described as “tough,” implying high standards.

Protective without being overbearing – While Huda acknowledges her parents were both “really good at weeding out the losers,” she also chooses to involve them voluntarily. She could have dated secretly but didn’t, because their approval mattered. This suggests a trusting relationship rather than a restrictive one.

Supportive of Huda’s autonomy – When Huda turned down the first proposal, her father’s opposition aligned with her own eventual decision. He did not force her into marriage or away from marriage; he provided a safety net that allowed her to make a healthy choice.

Traditional but adaptable – He operates within the framework of chaperoned courtship and family engagement, yet he does not micromanage every detail. Huda’s mother takes over wedding planning, and the father appears only at key milestones—proposal and kitab signing.

Chronological Arc

Huda’s father appears sporadically but always at decisive moments:

Before the story begins – Huda was raised with strict Islamic rules about gender relations, presumably taught by both parents. Her father’s role as guardian is established from childhood.

First proposal (Chapter 6) – At age 21, Huda brings a suitor to her father. He interrogates the man and disapproves. Huda initially struggles but eventually rejects the suitor, partly because her father saw what she initially missed.

Her parents’ divorce (Chapter 7) – During the four-year gap after rejecting the first proposal, Huda’s parents divorce. The memoir does not elaborate on the reasons, but the event underscores that not all family models are perfect. Her father remains present in her life, as shown by his continued involvement in the next courtship.

Gehad’s first call (Chapter 9) – Gehad calls Huda’s father. He conducts a tough interview, which Gehad apparently passes, because the courtship proceeds. Huda’s mother later doubts the match will work, but Huda’s father’s approval is not mentioned as an obstacle.

Meeting Gehad’s parents (Chapter 10) – Huda meets both sets of Gehad’s parents. The father’s presence in that meeting indicates he supports the union.

The kitab (Chapter 11) – At the religious ceremony, Huda signs the marriage contract. Her father is likely present as the wali, though the memoir focuses on Huda’s own zaghrouta entrance.

Throughout the arc, Huda’s father moves from gatekeeper to facilitator, ultimately allowing the marriage to happen.

Relationships

With Huda – Their relationship is built on trust and respect. Huda values his approval and his ability to weed out unsuitable men. She never resents his involvement, even when it means rejecting a proposal she was initially excited about. Her decision to involve him in courtship is deliberate: “I definitely didn’t want to start a relationship based on lies. Their approval meant a lot to me.”

With Huda’s mother – The parents divorce during the story, but the memoir does not detail the separation. They appear separately in the courtship process: the mother plans the wedding and monitors Huda’s emails, while the father interviews suitors. Their divorce does not undermine their united front regarding their daughter’s wellbeing.

With Gehad – Gehad earns the father’s approval by passing the tough interview. Later, the father meets Gehad’s parents, signaling an alliance between families. The father’s approval is a critical step that validates Gehad as a worthy match.

Key Decisions and Consequences

Decision 1: Disapproving the first proposal.
Consequence: Huda was forced to confront her own desire for male approval and her fear of being alone. She realized she had tied her self-worth to marriage. Saying no became a turning point toward self-love. Her father’s judgment provided an objective check against her emotional vulnerability.

Decision 2: Conducting a tough interview for Gehad.
Consequence: The interview served as a filter that Gehad passed, solidifying the father’s trust in him. This allowed the courtship to proceed quickly, with Huda and Gehad scheduling chaperoned calls, emails, and meetings. The father’s approval gave Huda confidence that the match was sound.

Decision 3: Allowing the marriage after the kitab.
Consequence: The marriage proceeds, and Huda reflects that Gehad was a man “worth waiting for.” The father’s role is complete; he has successfully fulfilled his guardian duty.

Themes and Symbolic Connections

Huda’s father embodies several themes of the memoir:

[Arranged versus forced marriage] (/books/that-can-be-arranged/themes/arranged-versus-forced-marriage/) – The father’s involvement demonstrates that arranged marriage in this context is a family-assisted process, not a coerced one. Huda has the final say, but her father’s screening is a key component.

[Family and community expectations] (/books/that-can-be-arranged/themes/family-and-community-expectations/) – The father represents the family’s expectation that marriage be pursued through proper channels. His presence reminds readers that Huda’s choices are embedded in community norms.

[Self-worth beyond marriage] (/books/that-can-be-arranged/themes/self-worth-beyond-marriage/) – By supporting Huda’s decision to reject the first suitor, the father indirectly helps her learn that her value does not depend on being married. She later says marriage is “not the ultimate measure of her value.”

[Trust in divine destiny (qadr)] (/books/that-can-be-arranged/themes/trust-in-divine-destiny-qadr/) – Father’s approval of Gehad aligns with Huda’s belief that the meeting was qadr (destiny). His willingness to interview Gehad is part of trusting the process God has ordained.

[Chaperoned courtship and modern tradition] (/books/that-can-be-arranged/themes/chaperoned-courtship-and-modern-tradition/) – The father enforces the rules of chaperoned interactions. Huda always involves a third party (her mother, sister, or father) during calls and meetings, a direct result of family involvement.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Why did Huda’s father disapprove of the first proposal?

He carried out a thorough interrogation of the suitor and discovered red flags such as controlling behavior and dishonesty. Although the memoir does not quote his specific objections, Huda later saw those traits herself, confirming his judgment was sound.

2. Is Huda’s father ever shown to be overprotective or controlling?

No. Huda states she chose to involve her parents because their approval was important and because they were skilled at weeding out unsuitable men. She never dates secretly, indicating she respects his role rather than resenting it.

3. How does the father’s interview of Gehad compare to the first suitor’s interview?

Both are described as tough or thorough. The first resulted in disapproval, while Gehad passed. The key difference is that Gehad demonstrated integrity and suitability, whereas the first suitor revealed major character flaws under questioning.

4. Does Huda’s father appear in the wedding ceremony?

Yes. Islamic wedding practice requires the bride’s male guardian (wali) to be present for the signing of the marriage contract (kitab). The memoir shows Huda signing the contract, and her father would have acted as wali, though the narrative focuses on Huda’s personal celebration.

5. How does the parents’ divorce affect Huda’s relationship with her father?

The memoir does not detail any lasting strain. Huda continues to involve her father in the courtship with Gehad years after the divorce. The divorce may have even deepened his role as a single parent, but Huda does not describe conflict or distance.