Huda Fahmy: A Character Analysis of Self-Discovery and Agency

Overview

Huda Fahmy is both the author and narrator of That Can Be Arranged, a graphic memoir that chronicles her path toward an arranged marriage that honors her faith, values, and sense of self. As a hijabi Muslim woman of Arab descent, Huda navigates cultural expectations, internal insecurities, and the search for a partner—all while learning to separate her worth from marital status. Her story is presented with humor and honesty, and she explicitly reminds readers that her experience is not representative of all Muslims.

Plot Role

Huda is the protagonist and sole point of view. The memoir follows her from childhood through marriage, focusing on how she grapples with the tension between community pressure to marry young and her personal desire for a fulfilling relationship. She actively participates in the arranged‑marriage process—attending meetings, initiating conversations, and making decisions—rather than passively receiving a match. Her role ultimately is to demonstrate that an arranged marriage can be a choice made with agency and love.

Motivations and Traits Shown Through Actions

Motivation to be loved and accepted drives Huda early on. In chapter 3, she panics that she will never marry after learning Islamic rules on gender relations, but she also declares she would rather stay single than be in a “horrible marriage.” This shows a core trait: self‑preservation.

She craves romantic attention, but when a college crush says he finds girls in abaya unattractive (chapter 4), she does not change her dress. This reveals steadfast identity over approval.

The proposal from the coworker (chapter 6) exposes her vulnerability and hidden low self‑worth. She admits she tied her worth to his approval. Yet she finds the courage to reject him despite fear of being alone, demonstrating growing self-respect.

In chapter 7, she chooses trust in God (qadr) over secret dating, showing faith‑driven patience. She also uses the four years after rejection to focus on self‑love and religious study, highlighting a proactive inner life.

When she sees Gehad at the conference, she calls it qadr—belief in destiny mixed with romantic intuition. She later takes initiative (chapter 9) to keep the courtship moving, contrasting with earlier passivity. At her kitab, she walks in doing her own zaghrouta, a playful act of defiance against demure expectations.

Interpretation vs. Fact: It is explicit that Huda rejected the first proposal and felt relief. It is interpretation to say she “grew” by that decision, but the memoir frames it as a turning point in self‑worth. I will distinguish by using phrases like “Huda suggests” or “the memoir indicates” for interpretation.

Chronological Arc

The arc moves from passive panic (young Huda) to active rejection of a bad match (age 21) to intentional waiting and, finally, assertive participation in a healthy courtship.

Relationships

• Parents: Huda respects her parents’ gatekeeping role. Her father’s interrogation of suitors is appreciated (ch. 6). Her mother plans the wedding (ch. 11). Their divorce during her waiting years adds emotional complexity, though Huda does not dwell on it in the memoir.

• Siblings: Her hypervigilant sister becomes the designated email reader for chaperoned correspondence (ch. 10). This relationship is humorous but supportive.

• Gehad: The eventual husband. Their relationship is built on shared values, chaperoned contact, and a sense of soul‑recognition (ch. 10). Huda takes initiative after their first meeting, countering her mother’s pessimism (ch. 9).

• Community (aunties, suitors): Often sources of pressure. Huda satirizes the “suitor types” and nosy mothers at weddings (ch. 5). She learns to ignore their judgment.

• Sheikh Z: Provides pivotal advice that lifts her fear of being a burden in marriage (ch. 8). This conversation helps Huda reframe what she seeks in a partner.

Key Decisions and Consequences

1. Rejecting the first proposal (ch. 6): Decision based on red flags (controlling behavior, lies) and father’s disapproval. Consequence: immediate freedom from a toxic relationship; long‑term boost in self‑worth; four years of waiting.

2. Choosing not to date secretly (ch. 7): Huda opts for trust in God over rebellion. Consequence: preserves family approval, aligns with her faith, and allows space for self‑development.

3. Asking the sheikh for help but not mentioning Gehad (ch. 8): Self‑protection from rejection. Consequence: gains general advice that addresses her core fears; the sheikh later facilitates the match anyway.

4. Taking initiative after the first chaperoned date (ch. 9): Huda decides to push the relationship forward despite her mother’s doubt. Consequence: keeps the momentum; leads to engagement and marriage.

5. Performing her own zaghrouta at the kitab (ch. 11): Defies expectations of a shy bride. Consequence: embarrasses her mother but asserts her personality; defines the ceremony on her terms.

Theme and Symbol Connections

• Arranged vs. Forced Marriage: Huda explicitly distinguishes the two in the opening letter. Her story exemplifies an arranged marriage where she has veto power and active voice.

• Self‑Worth Beyond Marriage: The memoir’s central theme. Huda ties her worth to male approval until she says no to a bad proposal. She then consciously builds self‑love before marriage.

• Family and Community Expectations: Huda feels pressure from aunties, but she ultimately marries in her mid‑twenties after rejecting the timeline panic.

• Trust in Divine Destiny (Qadr): Huda uses the concept to justify waiting and to frame her first sighting of Gehad. Her trust is passive (waiting) and active (attending the conference).

• Chaperoned Courtship and Modern Tradition: Huda navigates modern communication (emails, calls) within Islamic boundaries. The “CC” joke underscores adaptation.

The hijab itself is a symbol of her identity; she never draws herself without it, reinforcing commitment to modesty and self‑definition.

5 Book‑Specific Questions and Answers

1. Why does Huda reject the first proposal even though she fears she may never marry again?
She recognizes red flags—controlling behavior, lies, and insults toward her family—and listens to her gut. The rejection becomes a turning point where she begins to value her own worth over the fear of being alone.

2. How does Huda’s understanding of “qadr” influence her actions?
She believes destiny is decreed but can be altered through prayer and good deeds. This leads her to trust that the right person will come without compromising her values, so she refrains from secret dating and focuses on self‑improvement.

3. What role does Sheikh Z play in Huda’s journey?
He gives her honest advice about seeking a partner at a similar spiritual level rather than someone far above, addressing her hidden fear of being a burden. The conversation lifts a weight she didn’t know she carried and indirectly facilitates her match with Gehad.

4. How does Huda assert her personality during the wedding ceremonies?
At the kitab, she walks in performing her own loud zaghrouta instead of acting demure, embarrassing her mother but celebrating with ululations. She prioritizes dancing at the walima, remembering the joy over the details.

5. What does Huda mean when she says she “couldn’t wait to start the next chapter of my life with a man who was worth waiting for”?
After years of insecurity, bad prospects, and waiting, she marries Gehad—someone who respects her, shares her values, and makes her feel recognised. The statement reflects her journey from doubting her worth to confidently choosing a partner who meets her standards.