12 Analytical Essay Prompts for It Starts with Us

1. The Symbolic Weight of the “Surprise Lily” Nail Polish

Why this prompt matters
The nail-polish color “Surprise Lily” appears in Atlas’s final letter (Chapter Thirty-Four) as a tender memory of Lily’s care when he was ill. The color becomes a private code for devotion, but it also raises questions about whether Lily’s identity is ever fully her own or repeatedly rewritten by the men who love her. Examining the polish ties together Atlas’s first “I love you” (Chapter Fifteen) and his present-day letter, revealing how small objects carry trauma and healing.

Sample thesis direction
Hoover uses “Surprise Lily” as a metonym for the tension between being seen and being possessed: while Atlas treasures the memory as proof of Lily’s empathy, the color’s very name hints at a version of Lily she did not choose for herself.

Evidence leads

Chapter Fifteen: Lily records Atlas saying “I love you” during their last teenage night, the same night she gave him her trust.
Chapter Thirty-Four: Atlas writes about the “Surprise Lily” polish and the kiss on her shoulder where he silently said “I love you.”
Chapter Twenty: Lily’s heart-shaped shoulder tattoo, scarred by Ryle’s bite, is later kissed by Atlas to “overwrite” trauma—parallel to the nail-polish memory.

2. The Two Letters: Lily’s Ellen Journal vs. Atlas’s “Dear Lily” Note

Why this prompt matters
Lily writes letters to Ellen DeGeneres as a coping mechanism, while Atlas writes a direct “Dear Lily” letter (Chapter Twelve) and later a final proposal letter (Chapter Thirty-Four). These epistolary forms contrast: Lily’s letters are private, one-sided, and never sent, while Atlas’s letters demand a response. Analyzing their different functions reveals how each character processes trauma and seeks connection.

Sample thesis direction
Lily’s unsent Ellen letters preserve her voice in a space where she feels unheard, whereas Atlas’s letters are acts of vulnerability that force him to own his past; together they argue that healing requires both self-communion and risk.

Evidence leads

Chapter Two: Lily writes to Ellen recounting her divorce and fear of Ryle’s jealousy.
Chapter Twelve: Atlas leaves a “Dear Lily” note detailing his mother throwing a screwdriver at him and his childhood homelessness.
Chapter Fifteen: Atlas reads Lily’s journal entry about the night her father attacked him—the same night she gave him a Boston magnet.
Chapter Thirty-Four: Atlas writes a letter asking Lily to move in, recalling the first time he realized he loved her.

3. Co-Parenting as a Weapon: Ryle’s Use of Custody to Control Lily

Why this prompt matters
Ryle repeatedly threatens to modify the custody arrangement (Chapters Four, Twenty-Four, Thirty-Two) whenever Lily sets a boundary. This transforms what was meant to be a collaborative co-parenting plan into a tool of intimidation. The prompt asks students to trace how Ryle’s manipulation escalates and how Lily gradually reclaims agency by demanding supervised visits.

Sample thesis direction
In It Starts with Us, custody negotiations become a stage for the power struggle left over from the marriage: Ryle weaponizes legal jargon to mask ongoing abuse, while Lily learns that formal boundaries—not goodwill—are the only way to protect Emerson.

Evidence leads

Chapter Four: Ryle threatens overnights after Lily asks for her key back; Lily counters by requiring Emmy to be able to talk.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Ryle pins Lily against the door and leaves a handprint on her throat after discovering Atlas spent the night.
Chapter Twenty-Six: Lily lies about having a lawyer and begins documenting future abuse.
Chapter Thirty-Two: Lily demands anger management and supervised visitation; Ryle initially resists but eventually agrees.

4. The Closet as a Recurring Spatial Metaphor

Why this prompt matters
Lily hides Atlas in her flower shop closet (Chapter Six) to avoid a confrontation with Ryle. Later, she gets stuck in a dress in a dark closet at her own apartment (Chapter Twenty-Two) and Atlas helps her out. The closet shifts from a space of secrecy and shame to a space of intimacy and release. This spatial motif tracks Lily’s emotional arc.

Sample thesis direction
The closet passages move from concealment to liberation: in Chapter Six, the closet symbolizes Lily’s fear of Ryle’s jealousy, but by Chapter Twenty-Two, the same enclosed darkness becomes a site of trust and consent, mirroring her reclaimed autonomy.

Evidence leads

Chapter Six: Atlas pulls Lily into the office closet to ask for a date while Ryle is nearby; Lily feels trapped between hope and dread.
Chapter Twenty-Two: Lily gets her dress caught in her closet; Atlas helps her free, and they kiss passionately, leading to their first fully consensual sexual encounter.
Chapter Fourteen: Atlas kisses Lily quickly before leaving her apartment, then she reflects on her fear of Ryle—linking the emotional “closet” of secrets.

5. The Role of Theo as a Mirror for Atlas’s Growth

Why this prompt matters
Theo, the twelve-year-old Atlas mentors, serves as a sounding board and a conscience. He teases Atlas about not kissing Lily (Chapters Three, Nineteen), gives blunt advice about texting, and later reveals he is gay (Chapter Seven). Through Theo, Atlas practices the unconditional support he never received, and the boy’s coming-out subplot forces Atlas to examine his own ideas about masculinity and family.

Sample thesis direction
Theo’s function goes beyond comic relief; he is the emotional proving ground where Atlas learns to offer patience and confidentiality, skills he then transfers to his romantic relationship with Lily and his guardianship of Josh.

Evidence leads

Chapter Three: Theo tells Atlas that Lily has his number memorized, pressuring him to text her.
Chapter Seven: Atlas promises confidentiality when Theo admits he likes a boy from math club; Atlas gently corrects pronouns to include boys.
Chapter Nineteen: Theo calls Atlas “lame” for not kissing Lily yet, then explains Josh is a “bully to the bullies.”
Chapter Thirty-Six: Theo deciphers Atlas’s “shore” metaphor from Finding Nemo, showing his insight into Atlas’s emotional state.

6. The Family-Tree Seedling as a Rejection of Biology

Why this prompt matters
Josh’s decision to draw a “baby seedling” with only two branches—his and Atlas’s—instead of a traditional family tree (Chapter Thirty-One) is a powerful rejection of biological determinism. This image echoes the novel’s broader theme of chosen family and resonates with Atlas’s own severing of ties with Sutton.

Sample thesis direction
Hoover employs the family-tree seedling to redefine kinship as an act of deliberate construction rather than inheritance; Josh and Atlas choose each other precisely because their biological relatives failed, making the seedling a symbol of radical hope.

Evidence leads

Chapter Thirty-One: Josh decides not to meet his father Tim, fastens his seat belt, and says he’ll draw a seedling with only two branches.
Chapter Thirty-Three: Josh completes the seedling drawing, and Atlas sees it when he returns from confronting Sutton.
Chapter Twenty-Five: Atlas reflects on the possibility of stepfatherhood when Emerson falls asleep on his leg.
Chapter Thirty-One: Atlas tells Josh he would have “knocked over buildings” to find him, contrasting with Tim’s neglect.

7. The Tattoo and Its Scar Tissue: How Lily’s Body Bears the Story

Why this prompt matters
Lily’s heart-shaped shoulder tattoo is first mentioned in Chapter Twenty, where it is revealed to cover bite scars from Ryle. Atlas’s reaction—anger and a desire to “overwrite” the trauma with new kisses—shows how bodies become texts of abuse and healing. The tattoo also connects to the “Surprise Lily” nail polish as markers of identity imposed by others.

Sample thesis direction
The shoulder tattoo functions as a palimpsest: Ryle’s violence is etched into the same flesh where Atlas later plants kisses, and Lily’s act of getting the tattoo is an attempt to reclaim a story that men keep rewriting for her.

Evidence leads

Chapter Twenty: Atlas sees the tattoo and becomes distant; Lily explains it was from Ryle’s bite in the ER.
Chapter Twenty-One: Atlas kisses the collarbone area repeatedly to “overwrite” traumatic memories.
Chapter Four: Lily reads her list of abuse, which includes “He bit you,” and traces the scars.
Chapter Twenty: Lily says she stayed sane by imagining how Atlas would have acted kindly in Ryle’s place.

8. The Recurring Motif of the “Home Base” Argument

Why this prompt matters
In Chapter Twenty-Seven, Atlas reflects that Lily’s true “home base” is Emerson, not Ryle, and that dealing with Ryle will be an ongoing challenge. This concept of home base—where one’s loyalty and security ultimately reside—appears earlier when Lily feels “exactly where she belongs” in Atlas’s bed (Chapter Twenty-Two) and later when she moves into his house (Chapter Thirty-Six). The motif traces Lily’s re-centering of her life.

Sample thesis direction
The “home base” motif tracks Lily’s emotional geography: she moves from a place where Ryle still has a key and a claim to one where Atlas’s house becomes synonymous with safety, but the novel insists that home is ultimately located in the child, not the partner.

Evidence leads

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Atlas narrates that Lily’s “true home base is Emerson, not Ryle.”
Chapter Twenty-Two: Lily feels “completely loved and exactly where she belongs” after sex with Atlas.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Lily drives away in the rain with Emerson, determined to protect her daughter from Ryle.
Chapter Thirty-Six: Lily moves into Atlas’s house; Theo deciphers Atlas’s “shore” metaphor, connecting home to belonging.

9. The Function of the “List” as a Counterweight to Gaslighting

Why this prompt matters
Lily keeps a handwritten list of the physical abuse Ryle inflicted (Chapter Four). She reads it after he guilt-trips her, using it to remind herself why she divorced him. The list reappears implicitly whenever she resists Ryle’s apologies (Chapter Twenty-Six) or documents new threats. It serves as an antidote to the patterned cycle of abuse where the abuser minimizes and the victim doubts.

Sample thesis direction
In a novel structured around memory and letters, Lily’s list is the most decisive piece of writing: it refuses narrative embellishment and functions as a legalistic fact-check against Ryle’s emotional manipulation, helping Lily break the cycle of minimization.

Evidence leads

Chapter Four: Lily retrieves the list from her jewelry box after Ryle returns her key angrily; the list includes seven items ending with “You did this for your daughter.”
Chapter Twenty-Six: Lily lies to Ryle about having told a lawyer, and decides to document future abuse—a proactive expansion of the list.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Ryle pins her against the door, and Lily later texts Atlas to warn him; the incident is not on the list yet, but the reader knows it will be.
Chapter Twelve: Atlas’s “Dear Lily” note describes his mother throwing a screwdriver at him—another list of childhood trauma.

10. The Parallel Confrontations: Sutton vs. Ryle as Exes Who Refuse Accountability

Why this prompt matters
Atlas’s mother Sutton and Lily’s ex-husband Ryle both attempt to reassert control through manipulation and emotional scenes. Sutton barges into Atlas’s life demanding money and Josh (Chapter Twenty-Nine); Ryle storms into the restaurant (Chapter Twenty-Seven) and later into Lily’s apartment (Chapter Twenty-Four). Both characters resist accepting blame, and both are ultimately handled with firm boundaries—Atlas offers Sutton weekly dinners (Chapter Thirty-Three), while Lily demands supervised visits (Chapter Thirty-Two).

Sample thesis direction
Hoover structures the novel so that the secondary antagonist (Sutton) mirrors the primary antagonist (Ryle), suggesting that toxic behavior is not gender-specific and that the only effective response is a combination of empathy and inflexible limits.

Evidence leads

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Sutton arrives demanding Josh back, lies about CPS clearing her, and mocks Atlas when Josh refuses to go.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Ryle punches Atlas in the restaurant; Atlas refuses to fight back and advises him to take responsibility.
Chapter Thirty-Three: Atlas cooks Sutton’s favorite meal and demands she sign over custody but offers Tuesday dinners to keep a door open.
Chapter Thirty-Two: Lily, with Allysa as mediator, demands anger management and supervised visitation for Ryle.

11. The Wedding-Day Vow as a Meta-Commentary on Romance Novels

Why this prompt matters
The final chapter (Chapter Thirty-Seven) presents Atlas’s private vow, in which he acknowledges that half of marriages fail and sees that statistic as reason for gratitude rather than fear. This self-aware moment breaks the typical romantic convention of eternal promises and instead embraces “optimistic realism.” It invites analysis of how the novel subverts genre expectations while still delivering a happy ending.

Sample thesis direction
Atlas’s wedding vow explicitly defies the fantasy of an unbreakable marriage, reframing commitment as a choice made in full awareness of fragility; this meta-critique allows Hoover to conclude the story without endorsing the naïve romance that failed Lily in her first marriage.

Evidence leads

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Atlas privately reads his vows; he mentions divorce statistics and promises to cherish every moment whether the marriage lasts a day or decades.
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Lily and Atlas discuss moving in together (six months) and proposing (one year), emphasizing deliberate timing.
Chapter Thirty-Four: Atlas’s letter asks Lily to move in after six months of dating—a practical, not impulsive, gesture.
Chapter Thirty-Six: Lily’s mother reveals she once caught Atlas and Lily asleep as teens; she remembers him hugging her instead of reacting with fear, suggesting long-term compatibility.

12. The Missing Father Figures: How Andrew Bloom, Tim, and Atlas’s Father Shape the Present

Why this prompt matters
Neither Lily’s father (Andrew Bloom), Atlas’s father (unknown), nor Josh’s father (Tim) appear as present, positive forces—yet their absence or hostility drives the plot. Lily’s father attacked Atlas with a baseball bat (Chapter Fifteen), Tim abused Atlas and abandoned Josh (Chapter Twelve, Thirty-One), and Atlas’s own father never made contact. The novel explores how these men’s failures create the damaged families that Lily, Atlas, and Josh must rebuild.

Sample thesis direction
The absent or abusive fathers in It Starts with Us serve as negative role models that paradoxically motivate the protagonists to construct healthier forms of masculinity: Atlas becomes a protective guardian, Marshall a supportive uncle, and even Ryle’s potential for change is left ambiguous.

Evidence leads

Chapter Fifteen: Lily’s journal describes her father beating Atlas with a baseball bat after finding them in bed.
Chapter Twenty-Three: Atlas recounts the night in the hospital; a nurse warned him the law would side with Andrew Bloom.
Chapter Thirty-One: Atlas drives Josh to see Tim; they watch Tim drink beer, and Josh chooses not to meet him, declaring a “baby seedling” family.
Chapter Thirty-Five: Marshall returns Emerson to Atlas in the parking garage, acting as a cooperative male figure; Lily cries from relief.
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Lily reflects that her father and Ryle have damaged her ability to trust, but Atlas may help restore it.

Browse the full book summary →
Discussion questions and answers →
Healing from domestic abuse theme →
Second chances theme →
Family secrets and reconciliation theme →
Chosen family theme →
Co-parenting and boundaries theme →
Lily Bloom character guide →
Atlas Corrigan character guide →
Ryle Kincaid character guide →
Josh Corrigan character guide →
Allysa Kincaid character guide →
Theo character guide →