Chapter 3: Lily – “2. Lily” – A Journal Entry and a Crossroads

⚠️ Spoiler Notice: This analysis contains full plot details from Chapter 3 of It Starts With Us. If you haven’t read the book yet, you may wish to pause here.

Summary

Still reeling from the chance encounter with Atlas, Lily endures a chaotic morning at the flower shop. A text from Ryle jolts her back to reality: he still exists, and his presence looms over any future with Atlas. Overwhelmed, she leaves work, drives to the Boston harbor, and writes a long journal entry to Ellen DeGeneres. There she confesses that she asked Ryle for a divorce immediately after their daughter Emerson was born, determined to break the cycle of abuse. She details their current arrangement: Ryle sees Emmy only during daytime visits, a compromise Lily made to avoid a custody battle that might have exposed his violence but still left him with parenting time. Although the co-parenting is calm on the surface, Ryle harbors hope of reconciliation, and Lily fears his jealousy if she pursues Atlas. The chapter ends with her unresolved—knowing Atlas makes her happy, but terrified of the chaos that happiness could unleash.

Key Events

Lily works frantically, unable to stop thinking about Atlas and her disheveled appearance.
She prepares a bouquet for a customer’s apology, triggering memories of her own past with domestic violence.
A text from Ryle about giving Emerson fries interrupts her day and reminds her that he remains an obstacle.
Lucy arrives stressed about wedding planning; Lily offers a quick fix and then leaves the shop.
Lily drives to the harbor alone, using a journal entry to Ellen to process her emotions.
She recounts the divorce: demanding it right after Emmy’s birth, choosing to break the cycle despite the pain.
She explains the custody compromise—giving Ryle daytime visits only, never explicitly stating she doesn’t trust him overnight.
She admits she has been single for a year and a half, and that Ryle still flirts and holds onto hope.
She agonizes over whether dating Atlas is worth the inevitable turmoil with Ryle, fearing a “tsunami” of conflict.
She ends the letter unable to decide, needing more time before texting Atlas.

Character Development

Lily Bloom: The chapter lays bare her internal battle. Her diary-style letter reveals deep-seated fear, loneliness, and the constant calculation of Ryle’s possible reactions. She is a survivor who made a hard choice for her daughter, but that choice still chains her. Her joy at seeing Atlas is immediately clouded by anxiety, showing how trauma can stifle hope.
Ryle Kincaid (off-page): His shadow dominates Lily’s thoughts. Through her reflections, he emerges as a man who has not fully accepted the divorce, weaponizing charm and cooperation to keep a foothold in her life. Lily’s fear of his jealousy underscores the lingering power dynamics of their abusive past.
Atlas Corrigan (off-page): He represents a longed-for safety and happiness, but also a catalyst for potential disaster. Lily’s fantasies about a future with him clash with her pragmatic dread, painting him as both a refuge and a risk.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

The Cycle of Abuse and Its Aftermath: Lily’s decision to divorce Ryle the moment she held Emmy is the ultimate act of breaking the cycle. Yet, the chapter shows that even after leaving, an abuser can continue to control through co-parenting, fear, and lingering hope.
Journaling as a Coping Mechanism: Writing to Ellen functions as Lily’s therapy—a way to untangle her knotted thoughts when she has no one else to confide in. The letter format allows her to voice the truth she hides from everyone.
The Weight of Motherhood: Every choice Lily makes is filtered through Emerson’s safety. She tolerates discomfort, fakes smiles, and compartmentalizes her own desires to protect her child.
Fear vs. Desire: The entire chapter is a tug-of-war between the happiness Atlas promises and the upheaval Ryle might unleash. Lily’s hesitation illustrates how trauma can make even good decisions feel perilous.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter is the emotional core of the novel’s early setup. It fills in the crucial backstory of Lily’s divorce—information that was only hinted at in It Ends With Us. By exposing the fragile truce with Ryle, it raises the stakes for any rekindled romance with Atlas. Without this chapter, the external conflict would feel shallow; here, we understand exactly why Lily cannot simply run into Atlas’s arms. It also deepens the reader’s empathy for Lily, showing her not as a passive character but as someone making agonizing compromises in a system that offers no perfect solution.

Study Questions and Answers

Why does Lily keep Ryle’s past abuse a secret during their co-parenting, and what does this reveal about her character?
- Lily never directly tells Ryle that she restricts his time with Emmy because she fears his anger. She cloaks the arrangement in practical excuses (breastfeeding, his work schedule). This secrecy shows she is still managing his volatility, prioritizing peace for her daughter over confronting him. It reveals her resilience but also the exhausting emotional labor abuse survivors often carry.
What does Lily’s journal entry to Ellen reveal about her reasons for divorcing Ryle?
- The entry makes explicit that Lily filed for divorce the moment she held Emerson. She writes that she knew she must break the cycle of abuse. This wasn’t about falling out of love—she admits she misses the good parts of Ryle—but about a fierce, protective clarity. The chapter thus reframes the divorce as an act of maternal courage, not just self-preservation.
How does the chapter contrast Lily’s feelings for Atlas with those for Ryle?
- Atlas evokes a sense of awakening and rightness, as if a sleeping part of her comes alive. Ryle, by contrast, is a constant mental weight—a wall that limits her decisions. Where Atlas represents possibility, Ryle represents consequence. Lily’s dilemma is not about who she loves, but whether she can afford to love anyone connected to her past trauma.

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