Chapter summaries I Think We've Been Here Before Suzy Krause

Chapter 45 Summary: The Painting Obsession

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Hilda focuses intensely on painting a kitchen mural of her family. She works to make Marlen look healthy, Nora's eyes the exact blue, and even captures the sarcastic nature of Nora's cat. Perfectionism takes over; she wakes at 3 a.m. to adjust details, trying to preserve the happiness they had before the previous year. Marlen initially worries but recognizes she is grieving and chooses to support her. He pulls a recliner into the kitchen to sit with her while she paints, often sharing his wide-ranging interests—from deep space physics to trivia about Julie Andrews and Hawaiian words for rain.

When the kitchen mural finishes, Hilda expects closure but instead feels another open door. She moves to the dining room and begins painting a pastoral scene of golden grain, a combine, and deer. She buys extra paint, hinting that she may cover the entire house before it is destroyed.

Key Events

  • Hilda becomes obsessed with perfecting the kitchen mural, working late into the night.
  • Marlen recognizes her obsessive behavior as grief and chooses to support rather than intervene.
  • Marlen joins Hilda in the kitchen, chatting about his special interests or sitting in comfortable silence.
  • The kitchen mural is completed, but Hilda feels no sense of closure.
  • Hilda immediately starts painting the dining room walls with a new scene.
  • She purchases a large quantity of paint, suggesting an intention to paint the whole house.

Character Development

  • Hilda: Her perfectionism spirals as she tries to immortalize her family's happier times. Painting becomes her way of grieving and attempting to control the uncontrollable. The completion of one mural does not satisfy her; she moves to the next room, indicating an unending need to preserve.
  • Marlen: Though worried, he understands that Hilda needs this outlet. His patience and companionship show deep love and empathy. He shares his hobbies to comfort her, and his admiration for her—her hands, her face, her earnestness—reveals his devotion despite the looming end.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

  • Grief and Coping: Hilda's painting frenzy is a direct expression of her grief. She tries to capture and hold onto what is slipping away, especially the family's former happiness.
  • Art as Preservation: The mural is an attempt to preserve memory and feel meaningful. Hilda feels her family's preservation depends on getting the likenesses right.
  • Impermanence: The chapter ends with the house's upcoming destruction (mentioned earlier in the book). No matter how much Hilda paints, the physical home cannot be saved.
  • The Open Door: Each finished painting opens another doorway, symbolizing that grief has no simple endpoint.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter deepens our understanding of Hilda's character and her coping mechanisms. It shows how she channels her grief into creativity, even as it becomes obsessive. Marlen's quiet support highlights the strength of their relationship. The chapter sets up a pattern: Hilda will likely continue painting every surface, providing a poignant contrast between the permanence she seeks and the inevitable destruction of the house. It also raises questions about whether art can truly heal or simply postpone the confrontation with loss.

Study Questions and Answers

  1. Why does Hilda keep painting even after finishing the kitchen mural?
    She feels no closure; the mural's completion does not give her the sense of resolution she expected. Instead, it reveals another "open door," prompting her to move to the next room. This suggests that her grief cannot be satisfied by a single project and that she may need to continue this process until the house is fully covered.

  2. How does Marlen's response to Hilda's obsession reveal his character?
    Marlen initially worries but chooses not to argue or stop her. He recognizes that her painting is a form of grieving and that she needs it. By sitting with her, talking, or simply being present, he shows empathy, patience, and unconditional support. His admiration for her reinforces the depth of their love.

  3. What does the phrase "the house is going to be destroyed" suggest about the broader story?
    The impending destruction of the house—mentioned in earlier chapters—gives urgency to Hilda's efforts. It implies that the physical home is temporary, and her murals are a last attempt to hold onto memories before everything is lost. This foreshadows a significant event (likely the house's actual destruction) that will test the characters further.

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