Quiz Alexandra Petri's US History Alexandra Petri

Alexandra Petri's US History Quiz

This 20-question quiz spans the full breadth of Alexandra Petri's satirical history of the United States. Questions mix multiple-choice and short-answer formats, and the answer key at the end explains each response. Use the quiz to test your recall, then explore the full book summary or join the questions and answers discussion. For deeper analysis of the quirky conclusion, visit the ending explained page.

Quiz Questions

Plot and Sequence (Questions 1–8)

  1. What is the first document parodied in Chapter 1, “Title”?
    A) The Declaration of Independence
    B) The Constitution
    C) A royal decree from King George III
    D) None; the chapter invents documents without parodying a single real text

  2. In Chapter 2 (“Dear King Charles…”), why does Coronado believe El Turco’s stories about golden cities?
    A) El Turco shows him actual gold nuggets
    B) Coronado deliberately misinterprets the Pueblo word acochis as “gold”
    C) A map found in a Spanish ship proves the cities exist
    D) The king of Spain orders Coronado to find gold at any cost

  3. What does the customer in “Columbian Exchange Returns” (Chapter 3) try to return?
    A) A potato
    B) A horse
    C) A case of typhus
    D) A bag of tobacco

  4. In the oral history of the Constitutional Convention (Chapter 11), what distraction allows the Electoral College to pass with little debate?
    A) George Washington’s lengthy speech about humility
    B) James Madison’s note-taking causes a dispute over accuracy
    C) Gouverneur Morris draws a rabbit and a dog, drawing everyone’s attention
    D) Benjamin Franklin proposes a new musical instrument

  5. Which pair of delegates in “50 States of Grey—Bill of Rights” (Chapter 12) negotiates the addition of explicit rights?
    A) Patrick Henry and James Madison
    B) George Washington and Alexander Hamilton
    C) John Adams and Thomas Jefferson
    D) Elbridge Gerry and Gouverneur Morris

  6. In Mark Twain’s Undeath (Chapter 29), what changes about Twain after he is bitten?
    A) He loses his appetite for turkey and cigars
    B) He can no longer lecture
    C) His creditors forgive his debts
    D) He becomes a vampire who cannot be killed

  7. What does the husband in “The Yellow Wallpaper Guy Tries to Get a Refund” (Chapter 34) want from the store?
    A) A new roll of wallpaper
    B) A refund for the yellow wallpaper that drove his wife insane
    C) Medical help for his wife
    D) To speak to a therapist

  8. In Ragnarok in the Hall of Presidents (Chapter 75), which president is swallowed by a cloud of cigar smoke and melts from embarrassment?
    A) Warren G. Harding
    B) Calvin Coolidge
    C) Herbert Hoover
    D) Richard Nixon

Character Motivation (Questions 9–13)

  1. Why does the spider in Chapter 7 write an open letter to Jonathan Edwards?
    A) To ask Edwards to stop killing spiders
    B) To object to being used as a metaphor for loathsome sinners
    C) To request a place in the church
    D) To warn Edwards that the flies will take over

  2. In Chapter 37, why do two rhinoceroses disguise themselves as furniture in Teddy Roosevelt’s home?
    A) To spy on Roosevelt for the Smithsonian
    B) To prevent personal setbacks that trigger his hunting sprees
    C) To steal his hunting trophies
    D) To help Roosevelt become president by any means

  3. What motivates the branding executive in Chapter 30 to rename the “Corrupt Bargain of 1877”?
    A) He wants to honor Rutherford B. Hayes
    B) He fears the name will cause future legal problems
    C) He believes the name undermines the pro-Confederate branding they have built
    D) He is trying to confuse future historians

  4. In Chapter 54 (“Witch Play Written in the 1950s…”), why does Arthur Miller’s John Proctor refuse to name names?
    A) He is protecting his wife from being accused of communism
    B) He values his good name and refuses to betray others
    C) He knows the committee has no real power
    D) He is secretly a communist himself

  5. Why does the gerrymanderer in Chapter 59 feel compelled to leave Giovanni in Paris?
    A) His fiancée Hella forces him to return and maintain a facade
    B) He is arrested for fraud
    C) The redistricting map is complete
    D) He realizes he loves Hella more than Giovanni

Theme and Symbol (Questions 14–17)

  1. The “exclamation point” obsession in Chapter 48 (“An Oral History of the Oklahoma! Exclamation Point”) symbolizes:
    A) The joy of musical theater
    B) Cultural erasure and the flattening of complex history for commercial appeal
    C) Richard Rodgers’s enthusiasm for punctuation
    D) The excitement of the Oklahoma land rush

  2. In Chapter 40, Lily Bart’s lack of a house of her own in the American Girl doll set represents:
    A) Her independence
    B) Her precarious social position and dependence on others
    C) Her desire to travel
    D) A manufacturing error

  3. The “Thing That Ate Herbert Hoover” in Chapter 49 is a symbol for:
    A) The Great Depression’s economic terror that cannot be reasoned away
    B) A literal monster from the Lovecraft stories
    C) Franklin Roosevelt’s fear of his predecessor
    D) The failure of the New Deal

  4. In Chapter 56 (“1950s Recipes”), the “Dill Pickle Panopticon” recipe satirizes:
    A) The popularity of pickles in mid-century America
    B) Surveillance and the paranoia of the Cold War
    C) The difficulty of canning vegetables
    D) Gender roles in the kitchen

Synthesis (Questions 18–20)

  1. How does Petri use the same satirical technique in both the “Columbian Exchange Returns” (Chapter 3) and the “Branding Session for the Corrupt Bargain of 1877” (Chapter 30)?
    A) Both use fake advertisements to critique historical events
    B) Both present a transactional argument (return policy, branding meeting) to expose the imbalance and injustice behind official narratives
    C) Both involve a character named Greg
    D) Both are written as written dialogues between two equally guilty parties

  2. Compare the role of the handyman in Chapter 19 to the role of the customer-service representative in Chapter 34. What common failure do they share?
    A) They both ignore the emotional or symbolic dimensions of a crisis, treating it as a literal, fixable problem
    B) They both succeed in solving the problem
    C) They both try to sell something
    D) They both represent the author’s own voice

  3. In the larger arc of the book, what purpose do the multiple “50 States of Grey” chapters serve together?
    A) They provide erotic relief between serious historical chapters
    B) They parody the romance genre to expose the absurdity of historical reverence and the way political power is often treated as a forbidden desire
    C) They recount actual love affairs among the Founders
    D) They explain the geography of each state

Answer Key

Plot and Sequence

  1. D – Chapter 1 invents documents that parody the form of real documents, but it does not single out one specific real text. (See Chapter 1 outline: “collection of invented American documents … each document functions as a self-contained joke.”)

  2. B – Coronado misinterprets the Pueblo word acochis as “gold” and dismisses contradicting captives. (See Chapter 2 outline: “misinterprets the Pueblo word acochis as ‘gold’”.)

  3. C – The customer tries to return an item of typhus received in exchange for a potato. (See Chapter 3 outline: “a customer … tries to return an item of typhus received in exchange for a potato.”)

  4. C – Morris draws a rabbit and a dog; the distraction lets the Electoral College pass with little objection. (See Chapter 11 outline: “Morris draws a man-sized rabbit and dog … allowing it to pass without objection.”)

  5. A – Patrick Henry and James Madison debate explicit rights in the parody. (See Chapter 12 outline: “Henry insists on explicit rights; Madison reluctantly agrees.”)

  6. A – Twain loses his appetite for turkey and cigars after being bitten. (See Chapter 29 outline: “He loses his appetite for turkey and cigars …”.)

  7. B – He wants a refund for the yellow wallpaper. (See Chapter 34 outline: “the husband … calls … to complain that the yellow wallpaper he purchased has driven his wife insane.”)

  8. A – Warren G. Harding melts from embarrassment after his private letters are revealed. (See Chapter 75 evidence: “Warren begins to melt from sheer embarrassment.”)

Character Motivation

  1. B – The spider objects to being used as a metaphor for loathsome sinners. (See Chapter 7 outline: “objecting to his use of spiders as a metaphor for sinners … in his sermon.”)

  2. B – They disguise themselves to prevent personal setbacks that trigger Roosevelt’s hunting sprees. (See Chapter 37 outline: “prevent personal setbacks that trigger his hunting sprees.”)

  3. C – He fears the name undermines the successful pro-Confederate branding (e.g., “Lost Cause,” “Redeemers”). (See Chapter 30 evidence: “our job is not to accurately describe history; it is to confuse people … incepting a fantasy of Southern chivalry.”)

  4. B – John Proctor values his good name and refuses to betray others. (See Chapter 54 outline: “John Proctor, portrayed as a playwright, refuses to name others, citing his good name.”)

  5. A – A letter from fiancée Hella forces him to leave Giovanni and keep up appearances. (See Chapter 59 outline: “A letter from fiancée Hella forces him to abruptly leave Giovanni in Paris.”)

Theme and Symbol

  1. B – The exclamation point symbolizes how commercial adaptation flattens historical complexity. (See Chapter 48 outline: “excludes how commercial adaptation flattens historical complexity. The exclamation point becomes a symbol of cultural erasure.” Note: spelling/punctuation adjusted for clarity. The outline says “exclamation point becomes a symbol of cultural erasure and the tension between artistic integrity and marketability.”)

  2. B – Lily lacks a home, highlighting her precarious dependence on others for the trappings of wealth. (See Chapter 40 evidence: “Lily doesn’t have a house of her own! … she could be kicked out at any time if her aunt dies!”)

  3. A – The monster represents the terrifying, irrational economic dread of the Great Depression. (See Chapter 49 outline: “The Nameless Monster grows stronger on human fear … blending … Great Depression anxiety.”)

  4. B – The recipe links pickling to surveillance, satirizing Cold War paranoia. (See Chapter 56 outline: “Dill Pickle Panopticon (linking surveillance to pickling)” and “surveillance, consumerism, absurdity, Cold War anxiety.”)

Synthesis

  1. B – Both chapters present a transaction (return policy, branding meeting) to reveal the injustice behind the official historical label (the imbalance of the Columbian Exchange, the whitewashing of the Compromise of 1877). (See Chapter 3 outline: “critiques the historical reality that the Columbian Exchange transferred valuable crops … while introducing devastating Old World diseases”; Chapter 30 outline: “expose how historical language shapes public memory and to criticize the whitewashing of Reconstruction’s end.”)

  2. A – Both the handyman (Chapter 19) and the customer-service representative (Chapter 34) treat profound emotional or symbolic problems as mundane, literal issues—the handyman sees only broken walls and pits; the agent only offers refunds and transfers. (See Chapter 19 outline: “the handyman identifies the literal, physical problem … presenting the stories as mundane household issues”; Chapter 34 outline: “the parody transforms a classic feminist horror story into an absurd consumer-complaint call, satirizing how profound suffering is reduced to a bureaucratic inconvenience.”)

  3. B – The series parodies the erotic-romance genre (50 Shades of Grey) to expose how historical reverence and political ambition are often treated as forbidden desires, making the past seem both laughable and revealing. (See Chapter 9 outline: “deflates historical reverence by transforming political rhetoric into double entendre”; Chapter 12 outline: “parodies … sexual metaphor in politics”; Chapter 14 outline: “erotic fiction to depict Henry Clay’s obsessive desire for the presidency.”)