Mark Twain Character Analysis in Alexandra Petri’s US History
Overview
Mark Twain appears in Chapter 29 of Alexandra Petri’s US History as a satirical zombie. Petri reanimates the real-life author and humorist, famous for quips like “Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated,” and pushes that joke to its logical extreme: Twain actually becomes undead. The chapter is written in Twain’s own first-person voice, mimicking his witty, reflective style, and chronicles his transformation after a bite from a strange man. He loses his appetite for turkey and cigars, is diagnosed as a zombie by a baffled doctor, adapts to a diet of brains, and continues his lecture circuit while creditors hound him. This version of Twain is a vehicle for Petri’s satire of immortality, appetite, and the persistence of fame and debt.
Plot Role
In the book’s episodic structure, “Mark Twain’s Undeath” is one of many standalone parodies that reinterpret historical or literary figures through absurd lenses. Twain’s role is not to advance an overarching plot—there is none—but to illustrate how the desire for lasting fame can backfire. His undead state literalizes the fear that one’s work (or debts) might outlive the body. Petri uses Twain to explore the gap between public immortality (his writings) and personal mortality (his decay). The chapter also mocks the publishing industry’s insistence on contracts and creditors’ refusal to forgive debts, even for the dead.
Motivations and Traits Shown Through Actions
Twain’s actions reveal a blend of pragmatism, dark humor, and resignation. After the bite, he does not panic but methodically tries to eat, smoke, and see a doctor. His first-person narration shows him trying to maintain his old habits (cigars, turkey) until the physical impossibility forces him to adapt. He quickly accepts his new diet of brains, noting that most people “are not amply supplied” with that “victual”—a sardonic jab at his audience’s intelligence. He continues giving lectures, motivated by the practical need to earn money and honor contracts, not by any grand purpose. His worry about posthumous publication indicates his desire to control his legacy, even after death. Ultimately, he is portrayed as a creature of habit and duty, undead but still a professional.
Chronological Arc
The chapter moves linearly through Twain’s transformation:
- Initial encounter – Twain is walking and puffing a cigar when a strange man approaches and bites him on the arm.
- Loss of appetite – That evening he cannot eat roast turkey and cannot smoke a cigar.
- Doctor visit – A doctor finds no pulse and diagnoses him as undead. The doctor backs away in fear, leaving Twain alone.
- Adaptation – Twain discovers he can walk for miles without tiring, but his diet changes to brains. He notes his aroma is “peculiar.”
- Posthumous publication dilemma – He wonders what to do with his memoirs now that he is not truly dead.
- Creditor confrontation – He asks creditors to consider his debts paid, but they refuse, undeterred by his growling.
- New normal – Twain resigns himself to a perpetual lecture tour, joking that even when his bones fall apart he might tour more efficiently.
Relationships
Twain’s relationships in the chapter are limited but telling:
- With the strange man – The anonymous biter is portrayed as rude and mindless, a zombie who treats Twain as food. Twain rebukes him but escapes.
- With the doctor – The medical man is baffled and frightened. Twain’s own predatory thoughts (eyeing the doctor’s “robust brain”) invert the patient-doctor dynamic.
- With creditors – Unnamed creditors remain unimpressed by Twain’s state, insisting on payment. Twain’s threat is empty because his new food is “brains,” which they lack.
- With publishers – Indirect: he worries about contractual obligations for posthumous works.
No other characters from the book interact with Twain, reinforcing his isolated predicament.
Key Decisions and Consequences
- Decision to see a doctor → Leads to diagnosis of undeath; the doctor flees, leaving Twain to adapt alone.
- Decision to continue lecturing → He remains active and solvent, but the grind is eternal; he jokes it may outlast his own skeleton.
- Refusal to stop writing/publishing → Creates a paradox: if he is undead, his memoirs can’t be “posthumous,” but publishers still want them. The consequence is unresolved—Twain is trapped by contracts.
- Confrontation with creditors → He fails to get debt relief; the consequence is perpetual liability, a dark twist on the idea that “death and taxes” are the only certainties.
Theme/Symbol Connections
- Immortality and fame – Twain’s undeath literalizes the desire for literary immortality. His body lives on, but in a grotesque form; his works survive, but he cannot enjoy them. The chapter echoes the book’s wider theme of myth-making and selective memory, as Petri deflates Twain’s iconic status by making him a zombie.
- Appetite and consumption – The shift from turkey and cigars to brains satirizes American appetites—Twain, a celebrated consumer of life’s pleasures, must now consume intellect. This ties to the theme of greed and exploitation: even in undeath, he must feed.
- Debt and obligation – Creditors who ignore his death parody the American obsession with financial accountability. No matter how dead (or undead) you are, the bank still wants its money. This connects to political hypocrisy, as institutions refuse to acknowledge changed circumstances.
- Satire of historical authority – By placing a real author in an absurd reanimation, Petri undermines the reverence surrounding historical icons. The chapter is a direct example of the book’s technique of satirizing historical authority and construction.
Character Questions and Answers
Why does Mark Twain become a zombie?
He is bitten on the arm by a strange man while out walking. The bite transmits a condition that kills his appetite for normal food and stops his heart, turning him undead.
How does Twain react to his undeath?
With bemusement and dark humor. He tries to maintain his routine, adapts to a diet of brains, and continues lecturing. He worries about the logistics of posthumous publication and complains about creditors.
What does his new diet of brains signify?
It symbolises a shift from physical pleasures (turkey, cigars) to intellectual consumption. It also serves as a joke: Twain now feeds on the very thing his audience lacks, echoing his own witty contempt for dullards.
Why do creditors still demand payment even after his death?
Because contracts and debts are legally binding regardless of physical state. Petri satirises the inhuman persistence of financial systems: the undead author is still accountable.
What themes does Twain’s story explore?
It explores the irony of literary immortality (you might live forever, but not in the way you imagined), the persistence of debt, the absurdity of contractual obligations, and the failure of official institutions to adapt to extraordinary circumstances. For more themes, see the book’s themes section.