John and Abigail Adams Try Sexting: Summary and Analysis
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Abigail Adams, stuck in Massachusetts while her husband John serves as a diplomat in Paris, initiates a playful erotic correspondence. She asks John what he is wearing, hoping to spark simulated intimacy. John, missing the innuendo, describes his thick woolen coat, stockings, and knee breeches. Abigail clarifies her intention: she wants to engage in “simulated coitus via letter.” John responds with bewilderment, questioning the benefit of such an exchange across parchment.
Abigail sends a map showing their geographical separation and then describes removing her stockings. John gradually catches on, enthusiastically reporting the removal of his coat and shirt. However, their letters cross the Atlantic at a slow pace, causing a farcical counting of petticoats. Abigail removes all five at once to speed things up, but John does not receive that letter. They end up in a “quagmire” over how many petticoats she is wearing. The confusion escalates until they settle on zero.
Just as their romance seems to progress, John’s letters take a wild turn. One letter arrives that is obscene and filled with praise for Benjamin Franklin. John frantically sends multiple letters begging Abigail not to open it, but she already has. She reassures John that she never believed he wrote it—the penmanship was wrong, and the praise of Franklin was too generous. John reveals that Franklin himself had written and sent the letter by mistake. Mortified, John loses enthusiasm for the venture. He announces he will return to Boston. The chapter ends with both spouses writing that it was “very good to see you” after their reunion.
Key Events
- Abigail writes to John asking what he is wearing, intending to start a seductive exchange.
- John describes his practical woolen outfit, missing the sexual subtext.
- Abigail clarifies her desire for “simulated coitus via letter” and sends a map of their continents.
- Abigail removes her stockings and later all five petticoats to advance the game.
- Lost letters cause confusion over the petticoat count; they cannot agree on whether she wears zero or three.
- John removes his coat, shirt, and eventually declares he is completely naked.
- John admits to consulting Benjamin Franklin for advice on the correspondence.
- A letter arrives that is actually by Franklin, impersonating John in explicit terms.
- John sends panicked follow-up letters begging Abigail not to open the earlier letter.
- Abigail recognizes the forgery and reassures John she knows he did not write it.
- John loses his enthusiasm and announces his imminent return to Boston.
- The couple reunites and expresses mutual happiness.
Character Development
- John Adams: Starts as a literal-minded diplomat who struggles to read between the lines. He gradually warms to the romantic game but remains cautious. His mortification after Franklin’s prank shows his vulnerability and dignity.
- Abigail Adams: Takes the initiative, demonstrates patience, and clearly communicates her desires. She shows practical problem-solving (removing all petticoats at once) and sharp insight by recognizing Franklin’s handwriting and tone.
- Benjamin Franklin: Only appears offstage but serves as a chaotic catalyst. His unauthorized letter reveals his playful, irreverent nature and disrupts the Adamses’ fragile marital communication.
Themes, Symbols, and Motifs
- Communication Barriers: The episode satirizes the difficulty of long-distance intimacy before instant communication. Lost letters, delayed responses, and misinterpretations turn a sincere attempt into farce.
- Petticoats as a Symbol of Undressing: The literal counting of petticoats becomes a running joke. The number of petticoats represents the slow, stage-managed removal of clothing that the postal system frustrates.
- Anachronism and Humor: Petri applies modern concepts (sexting, “simulated coitus”) to 18th-century figures. The absurdity highlights both the timelessness of desire and the vast cultural differences in expression.
- Franklin’s Mischief: The accidental forgery underscores Franklin’s reputation as a witty, boundary-pushing figure. His intrusion embodies the risk of involving a third party in intimate matters.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter humanizes the founding generation by showing their private, humorous side. Rather than focusing on political achievements, Petri imagines the Adamses as a real couple navigating desire, trust, and embarrassment. The comedy arises from the clash between their formal language and the raw impulse to connect. The petticoat quagmire and Franklin’s letter serve as cautionary tales about miscommunication and over-sharing. The chapter reinforces the book’s broader theme that history is made by flawed, relatable people, not marble statues.
Study Questions and Answers
1. How does Petri use anachronism to highlight the challenges of 18th-century communication?
Petri grafts modern sexting terminology onto the Adamses’ formal epistolary style. Abigail speaks of “simulated coitus via letter” and counts petticoats like a modern chat replacing clothes. This contrast underscores how slow, unreliable mail made erotic role-play nearly impossible. The letters crossing the Atlantic create a “quagmire” of lost messages, something instant messaging avoids but a historical couple had no way to solve.
2. What is the comedic function of the petticoat count?
The petticoat count literalizes the striptease. Each petticoat should mark a step in undressing, but postal delays turn it into a mathematical farce. Abigail removes all five at once to bypass the slow pace, only to have John not receive the news. The confusion over whether she wears zero or three petticoats becomes a running gag that mocks the very idea of coordinating desire across time and space.
3. Why does the Franklin forgery episode serve as the chapter’s climax?
Franklin’s letter injects genuine chaos into what had been a silly but private game. It reveals the fragility of the Adamses’ trust and the danger of involving a third party (even well‑intentioned). John’s panic and shame raise the stakes from playful flirtation to potential embarrassment. Abigail’s quick recognition that Franklin wrote it reinforces her intelligence and loyalty, and it effectively kills the sexting attempt, forcing them back to face‑to‑face reunion.