Chapter 75: Ragnarok in the Hall of Presidents – Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

The chapter opens with the end of the world: the sun sets for the last time, the Epcot Center collapses, and the animatronic presidents in the Hall of Presidents come to life for a final battle. George Washington pulls out his false teeth one by one; each tooth he hurls turns into a soldier, building an army. John Adams apologizes for the Alien and Sedition Acts but is ignored. Thomas Jefferson releases a wolf he has been holding; the wolf devours him, and Jefferson laughs in relief. James Madison is torn apart by unseen hands. James Monroe and John Quincy Adams fight the tooth army, but Adams falls into a pit where the National Bank—now a monster—drags Andrew Jackson to his doom.

Later presidents meet equally symbolic ends: Martin Van Buren mutters in Dutch; William Henry Harrison is killed by a light rain; John Tyler stands alone; James K. Polk is pulled back from Mexico; Zachary Taylor is chased by a bowl of raw cherries; Millard Fillmore turns into a duck; Franklin Pierce hears an approaching train; James Buchanan sinks into indecision and lava; Abraham Lincoln fights bravely but is shot by John Wilkes Booth, who appears as another animatronic figure. Andrew Johnson and Ulysses S. Grant struggle and are dragged into a pit, pulling William McKinley with them. Teddy Roosevelt fights alongside Grant until he becomes a berserker, impaling figures including Edith Wilson after she springs from Woodrow Wilson’s split body. Warren G. Harding melts from embarrassment when his private letters are revealed; Calvin Coolidge silently fights a monstrous “Jerry” and vanishes. Herbert Hoover is swallowed by a dust cloud. Franklin D. Roosevelt directs workers in a bewildering project. Harry Truman is radioactive in a bad way. Dwight Eisenhower is burdened by Nixon, who drowns him. John F. Kennedy gets stuck to “Jerry.” Gerald Ford’s tackle fails. Jimmy Carter sits serene. Ronald Reagan begins to remember everything. George H. W. Bush calls the CIA with no answer. Bill Clinton plays a sad saxophone. George W. Bush reads The Pet Goat. Barack Obama tells Donald Trump he has not been good for the country, and Trump is just happy to be in Florida. Joe Biden hears a train and calls for it to take him to Delaware, but the train is not heading there.

Key Events

• George Washington creates an army by throwing his teeth.
• Thomas Jefferson is eaten by a wolf he had been holding by the ears.
• Andrew Jackson is dragged into a pit by the monstrous National Bank.
• Abraham Lincoln is shot by an animatronic John Wilkes Booth.
• Teddy Roosevelt goes berserk and kills Edith Wilson after she emerges from Woodrow Wilson.
• Warren G. Harding’s embarrassing letters cause him to melt.
• Calvin Coolidge silently wrestles “Jerry” (Harding’s personified organ) into the pit.
• Barack Obama confronts Donald Trump with a long-suppressed criticism.
• Joe Biden calls for a train to take him to Delaware.

Character Development

Because the chapter is a satirical apocalypse, the “development” of each president is condensed into a single, emblematic moment that reflects either their historical legacy or a popular caricature:

• George Washington – His false teeth become weapons of creation, underscoring the mythic, founding quality.
• Thomas Jefferson – Finally releasing the wolf (perhaps his hypocrisy over slavery) and accepting punishment shows a fatalistic self-awareness.
• Andrew Jackson – The bullets from past duels slowly reach his heart, and the National Bank he destroyed returns as a monster—karma for his policies.
• Abraham Lincoln – He fights heroically but is undone by Booth, reinforcing the tragedy of his assassination.
• Teddy Roosevelt – Starts as a valiant fighter but descends into uncontrollable violence, mirroring his excessive energy and imperialist impulses.
• Woodrow Wilson – Splits open to reveal his wife Edith, who then dies quickly; a surreal end for a president whose stroke left Edith as a secret steward.
• Warren G. Harding – His private letters (calling his penis “Jerry”) reveal personal shame, causing him to melt from embarrassment.
• Calvin Coolidge – Silent and effective even in battle; he vanquishes “Jerry” without a word.
• Barack Obama – Delivers a concise, damning critique to Trump, then steps back—measured to the end.
• Donald Trump – Oblivious, just happy to be in Florida, a satirical take on his focus on personal comfort.
• Joe Biden – Looks for an Amtrak-like escape but the train does not go where he wants, hinting at unrealized hopes.

Each character’s fate is a capsule of their historical image, critiqued through absurdist humor.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

• Ragnarok – The Norse apocalypse frames the chapter, suggesting that American history is moving toward a final, catastrophic reckoning.
• Teeth as Soldiers – Washington’s false teeth (famous for being not actually wooden) become an army. Teeth are bones that endure, symbolizing the lasting, often false, narratives of the founding.
• The National Bank Monster – A tentacled creature representing the economic institution Jackson destroyed; it exacts revenge from the pit.
• “Jerry” – Harding’s private nickname for his genitals becomes a monstrous entity (and a literal “big Jerry”) that Calvin Coolidge valiantly fights. It symbolizes hidden personal failings that erupt in public.
• D. W. Griffith Film – Projected from Wilson’s eyes, referencing Wilson’s screening of The Birth of a Nation, which glorified the KKK. Wilson’s body splits open, literally birthing a hidden history of racism.
• Mirrored Nemeses – Many presidents face their literal historical nemesis (Harrison vs. light rain, Taylor vs. raw cherries, Lincoln vs. Booth), emphasizing that legacies are defined by what defeats you.
• Silence and Sound – Coolidge uses silence as a weapon; Clinton’s saxophone makes the walls crumble; Biden hears a train that others do not. Sound (or its absence) becomes a force of meaning.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter serves as the book’s climax and a darkly comic final exam of every U.S. president through the lens of their worst moments or most absurd traits. By placing them in a Ragnarok scenario, Petri argues that history eventually catches up with leaders. No one escapes: even the revered (Washington, Lincoln) are participants in the chaos, and the forgotten (Fillmore, Harding) meet fates that match their obscurity. The inclusion of recent presidents (Obama, Trump, Biden) brings the satire into the present, suggesting that the reckoning is ongoing. For a reader, this chapter condenses centuries of presidential history into a single, unforgettable metaphor: the Hall of Presidents is not a place of honor but a battlefield where every decision returns.

Study Questions and Answers

Q1: Why does Thomas Jefferson laugh when the wolf devours him?
A1: Jefferson’s laugh suggests a relief that his long-held hypocrisy—particularly regarding slavery and personal ethics—has finally been exposed and punished. He knew he merited punishment but never changed course, so the wolf’s attack feels like a long-overdue release.

Q2: What does the D. W. Griffith film symbolise in Woodrow Wilson’s death?
A2: The film The Birth of a Nation was screened at the White House under Wilson and is infamous for its racist portrayal of Reconstruction. By projecting it from Wilson’s eyes, Petri points to the president’s indirect endorsement of racist ideology. His body splitting open reveals Edith Wilson, who actually ran the government after his stroke, and then her quick death trivialises both of them.

Q3: Why does Obama tell Trump “I don’t think that you have been very good for the country” at this moment?
A3: The apocalyptic setting gives Obama licence to say what he had “repressed” during his time in office. It is a blunt, final judgment from one president to his immediate successor, capturing the political tensions between them. The comment is followed by an ominous droning sound, suggesting that even this criticism is only a prelude to something worse.

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