The Things We Never Say: Questions and Answers

This page offers 15 evidence-grounded questions and answers about Elizabeth Strout’s The Things We Never Say (2026). Each question digs into character decisions, relationship shifts, symbols, foreshadowing, and hidden tensions. Answers are supported by the chapter outline and excerpts from the novel. For a comprehensive overview, see the main book page.

Why does Artie Dam consider drowning as his method of suicide?

Artie rejects guns, wrist‑cutting, hanging, pills, and car crashes because each would reveal his death as suicide or harm others. Drowning seems the most plausible: he owns a sailboat and could go far out. Yet he worries that his boat’s deep keel and high sides make accidental falling impossible. The careful planning shows the depth of his loneliness and his desire to spare his wife and son the knowledge of intentional death.
Evidence context: In Chapter 1, after two months of obsessive planning, Artie lists and discards methods, settling on drowning as “at the top of the list.”
Interpretation: The method—water—echoes his mother’s earlier talk of drowning children, linking his despair to inherited trauma.

What is the significance of the precognitive dream Artie has a week before his near‑drowning?

Artie dreams the exact event that later occurs: he is in the water and then wakes in awe. This dream becomes a touchstone for his later questions about fate and free will. It also surprises him because he rarely remembers dreams. The experience sets up a tension between determinism and choice that runs through the novel.
Evidence context: In Chapter 1, Artie describes the vivid dream to his wife Evie, who reacts skeptically.
Interpretation: The dream foreshadows the rescue and primes the reader for the Jungian themes of the collective unconscious—especially given the novel’s epigraph on loneliness from Carl Jung.

How does the character of Kenneth Moynihan function as a moral counterpoint to Artie?

Kenneth is the plumber who rescues Artie from drowning. Later, he becomes Artie’s dinner companion at Spud’s, where they discuss free will and world events. Despite supporting an incoming president Artie despises, Ken remains a loyal friend. Artie reflects that he loves Ken, but he never reveals the secret of Rob’s paternity to him—except once. Ken’s acceptance of Artie’s confession shocks both men, and Ken affirms that fatherhood is not about biology.
Evidence context: In Chapter 4, Artie tells Ken that Rob is not his biological son; Ken is stunned but says the father‑son bond remains. Later, in Chapter 7, Ken’s political views differ, yet Artie still loves him.
Interpretation: Ken embodies the idea that genuine connection can survive political and personal differences, directly challenging the loneliness Jung describes.

Why does Artie start lying by omission after learning the truth about Rob’s paternity?

Artie discovers that Rob’s biological father is Reginald MacDonald. He decides not to tell Evie, even though she has apparently known for twenty‑eight years. This begins a period where Artie lies constantly by withholding information, even as he realizes Evie is also lying to him. The shared secret turns their marriage into a performance.
Evidence context: In Chapter 3, Artie returns from Rob’s apartment, chooses not to confront Evie, and reflects: “This began the part of Artie’s life where he lied to his wife.”
Interpretation: The lie‑by‑omission mirrors the novel’s title—the things never said become a corrosive force in the relationship.

What does Artie’s shoplifting of a comb reveal about his mental state?

At age fifty‑seven, Artie steals a comb from a drugstore for the first time. The act triggers memories of Reginald’s praise for Rob and of Evie’s possible emotional affair. When Evie finds the comb, Artie lies about it. The petty theft is a symptom of his unraveling: he feels detached from his own moral code and tries to regain a sense of control or defiance.
Evidence context: Chapter 4 opens with Artie shoplifting; later Evie discovers the comb and he denies it.
Interpretation: The stolen comb is a small, physical representation of the larger “things” Artie cannot say. It also connects to the kleptomania theme seen later in Rachel’s theft of Rob’s friend’s book.

How does the soccer game turned political shouting match reflect the novel’s theme of political division?

During a home soccer game, a fight breaks out over political remarks. Artie’s student Danny Marino insults a player from the opposing team, and adults shout about the upcoming election. Artie sees this as a symptom of the country’s fracture, a tension that already contributes to his despair. The chapter shows how public polarization seeps into the small‑town Massachusetts community.
Evidence context: In Chapter 2, after the game, Artie and Ken discuss the shouting; Ken admits he will vote for the other candidate and still loves Artie.
Interpretation: The soccer field becomes a microcosm of national division, and the characters’ inability to communicate across political lines echoes Jung’s definition of loneliness.

What is the role of Rhonda Lazarre’s pillowcase in understanding her relationship with Artie?

After Artie’s near‑drowning, Rhonda brings a pillowcase to his hospital room as a sign of devotion. She later sleeps with it each night, hiding it from her mother. For Rhonda, the pillowcase becomes a sacred object representing Mr. Dam’s kindness and her own transformation. It also shows the profound effect a teacher can have on a vulnerable student.
Evidence context: In Chapter 5, Rhonda holds the pillowcase to her face every night, keeping it in her closet.
Interpretation: The pillowcase is a symbol of Artie’s impact—a tangible remnant of the support he offered when she needed it most.

Why does Danny Marino find comfort in Artie’s confession about wanting to say “fuck you to the world”?

Artie tells Danny that he sometimes wants to curse the world, shocking the boy who saw him as cheerful. Danny feels “tremendous comfort” because he now knows adults have serious, sad secrets. This moment forges a bond between teacher and student, allowing Danny to cope with his own parents’ turmoil. It also reveals Artie’s hidden despair beneath his public persona.
Evidence context: In Chapter 5, Danny recalls the private confession and thinks it “ushered him kindly… into the world of adults.”
Interpretation: The confession is a rare instance of Artie speaking a truth, and it helps Danny grow, showing the novel’s belief that shared vulnerability can alleviate loneliness.

How does Evie’s reaction to Reginald’s letter after Artie’s death illuminate her character?

After Artie dies of a heart attack, Evie finds Reginald’s letter to Rob in Artie’s mother’s jewelry box. She is stunned and calls Rob, who does not take her side. Evie feels “enormous devastation.” In the years that follow, she canonizes Artie as a saint, never remarrying. This ending reveals that Evie lived with her own unspoken truths, and the discovery forces her to confront a past she had buried.
Evidence context: In Chapter 5’s coda (set three‑and‑a‑half years after Artie’s death), Evie finds the letter and calls Rob.
Interpretation: Evie’s late‑life sainthood of Artie is a way to manage guilt. It parallels the way characters throughout the novel rewrite narratives to shield themselves from painful realities.

What is the significance of Flossie’s joke about the new president at the Peabody party?

Flossie, drunk, tells Artie the new president will “shake things up.” Artie laughs uncontrollably, crying and unable to stop—a cathartic release that the narrator says marks the end of his suicidal thoughts. The laughter is “an awful sound,” mixing sorrow and relief. It shows how humor grounded in shared pain can break the grip of despair.
Evidence context: In Chapter 7, Artie laughs at Flossie’s remark while waves crash; he then thinks of his sister Maria with confectionary sugar on her face.
Interpretation: The laughter is not joyful; it is the release of accumulated grief and a turning point where Artie chooses to live.

How does Artie’s teaching about the Holocaust in Chapter 3 connect to his personal feelings of guilt?

After teaching details of the gas chambers, Artie feels guilty for telling a student that world peace is possible. He is haunted by his own inability to prevent suffering in his own life—especially Rob’s secret. The lesson forces students to confront historical evil, but Artie’s guilt reveals his sense of complicity in the lies he lives.
Evidence context: In Chapter 3, Artie writes “FASCISM” on the board and describes the death camps; later he regrets offering hope.
Interpretation: The Holocaust lesson parallels the novel’s treatment of unacceptable truths. Artie’s guilt stems from his own silence about Rob’s paternity and his failure to live authentically.

What does the Epilogue’s sailboat imagery reveal about Artie’s final years?

After his retirement, Artie sails alone for two summers, finding peace only on the water. He gives up sailing after Hoover Lakeland’s suicide and the political deterioration, growing listless. The sailboat, once a possible suicide vehicle, becomes a source of temporary solace. However, the epilogue shows that Artie loses even that joy as the outside world’s decay invades his private haven.
Evidence context: The Epilogue opens with Artie sailing alone; later he freezes in class and is hospitalized.
Interpretation: The sailboat represents both freedom and isolation. Artie’s inability to sustain that peace mirrors his overall mental decline.

Why does the new principal reprimand Artie for calling students “boys and girls”?

The new principal, a woman with misgivings, calls Artie into her office and tells him that “boys and girls” is demeaning and may misgender students. Artie responds, “You’re right,” but afterward he loses his teaching enthusiasm. This scene captures the shift in educational politics and Artie’s growing alienation from a world that no longer fits his old‑fashioned style.
Evidence context: In the Epilogue, the principal summons Artie and he agrees without argument.
Interpretation: The confrontation symbolizes the erosion of Artie’s sense of purpose. He stops pushing back, a sign that his will has broken.

How does the AI (ChatGPT) assignment controversy reflect Artie’s loss of purpose?

When students submit essays produced by ChatGPT, Artie sees it as worse than plagiarism. The new principal holds a seminar encouraging AI use. Artie, who once loved teaching, no longer cares enough to resist. This abdication shows his disconnection from his vocation and the larger societal changes he cannot accept.
Evidence context: In the Epilogue, Artie thinks ChatGPT is “worse than plagiarism” but does nothing; the principal supports AI.
Interpretation: The AI controversy is the final blow to Artie’s identity as a teacher. He cannot adapt, and his withdrawal deepens his isolation.

What is the meaning of the final conversation between Danny Marino and Rob at Artie’s funeral?

Danny asks Rob, “Did Mr. Dam kill himself?” Rob assures him it was a heart attack. Danny seems relieved, and the reader knows Artie did not take his own life. This exchange protects Artie’s legacy and spares Danny the burden of suspicion. It also shows that the question of suicide haunts those left behind—the very thing Artie wanted to avoid.
Evidence context: In the Epilogue, after the funeral, Danny asks Rob directly, and Rob tells him it was natural causes.
Interpretation: The conversation resolves the novel’s central ambiguity. Artie’s death from natural causes vindicates his choice to live, while the lingering doubt highlights how the “things we never say” persist even after someone is gone.

For deeper analysis of specific themes and characters, visit the pages on loneliness, secrets and lies, and Artie Dam.