Characters The Things We Never Say Elizabeth Strout

Flossie MacDonald: The Confidante, the Drunk, and the Mirror of Artie's Loneliness

Overview

Flossie MacDonald is a pivotal secondary character in Elizabeth Strout's The Things We Never Say. She is Artie Dam's longtime friend from California (formerly Massachusetts), a widow who moves to Ohio to be near her daughter Sophie after her husband Reginald's death. Flossie reappears at the novel's emotional climax when she returns for a New Year's Day dinner with Artie, confessing a decades-old affair with Ed Merrill. Through her unguarded emotions, heavy drinking, and blunt humor, Flossie serves as both a confidante and a catalyst for Artie's release from suicidal despair.

Plot Role

Flossie's role is primarily structural: she bookends Artie's crisis. The novel opens in June with their farewell dinner at Spud's, where Flossie begs Artie to "stay jovial" (Chapter 1). This farewell triggers the "accretion of loneliness" that Artie later identifies as the root of his suicide planning. Flossie is then absent for most of the middle chapters, existing only as a phone presence. Artie calls her after his near-drowning in September, and she plans their New Year's reunion (Chapter 2).

Her crucial plot function arrives in Chapter 7 (the New Year's dinner). There, Flossie drunkenly confesses her affair with Ed Merrill, reveals her daughter's enduring resentment, and makes a throwaway joke about the incoming president "shaking things up." Artie's uncontrollable laughter at this line—a laugh that is really a sob of accumulated grief—marks the moment his suicidal thoughts permanently end. Without Flossie's appearance, Artie's emotional breakthrough might not have occurred.

Motivations and Traits Shown Through Actions

Loneliness as the core driver. When Flossie explains the affair, she says plainly, "I was lonely. That's the whole reason" (Chapter 9). This confession links her directly to the novel's epigraph (Carl Jung on loneliness as the inability to communicate what matters). Her move to Ohio was a desperate attempt to reconnect with her daughter, but it fails: Sophie can barely tolerate her. Flossie's drinking—she orders glass after glass at dinner—is both a coping mechanism and a symptom of her isolation.

Neediness disguised as gregariousness. Flossie is "too much" for Evie (Chapter 1), but Artie loves her for being "overly made-up" and emotionally expansive. Her actions reveal a woman who craves attention and validation. She clings to Artie at their first hug, she becomes jealous when he mentions Ken Moynihan ("I could bite his head off"), and she demands reassurance about Evie's well-being. Yet this neediness is not manipulative; it stems from genuine loneliness.

Blunt honesty. Flossie does not hide her drinking, her regrets, or her opinions. On the phone from Ohio she calls Reginald an asshole repeatedly. At New Year's she admits she does not get dressed some days and watches men knitting on television. Her confession of the affair is volunteered without prompting—she assumes Artie already knew. This transparency contrasts with the novel's theme of unspoken truths; Flossie speaks everything, often to her own detriment.

Self-destructive tendencies. Her drinking is excessive (Artie notices she is drunk). She moved across the country for a daughter who "cannot stand" her. She had an affair that cost her Sophie's respect and haunted her marriage. These choices suggest a pattern of seeking connection in ways that push people away.

Chronological Arc

  • June (Chapter 1): Farewell dinner at Spud's. Flossie cries, begs Artie to stay jovial, and moves to Ohio.
  • September (Chapter 2): Artie calls Flossie after his near-drowning. She is upset, jealous of Ken, and announces her plan to return for New Year's Day dinner.
  • Thanksgiving (Chapter 7): Flossie is mentioned only in passing; Artie tells Evie she is doing "okay," implying continued difficulties with Sophie.
  • New Year's Day (Chapter 9): Flossie arrives in a dark tweed coat, wearing new big red glasses. She confesses the affair over dinner, drinks heavily, and makes the "shake things up" joke that triggers Artie's cathartic laughter. This is her final appearance in the narrative.

Relationships

Artie Dam – The confidante bond. Flossie is the only person with whom Artie feels he can be fully himself (Chapter 1). Their friendship is built on shared humor and political agreement; Artie calls her "dear Flossie." Yet by New Year's he realizes he no longer loves her in the same way—"that self—himself—seemed far away now" (Chapter 9). Their connection has become a burden, but it still enables his release.

Evie Dam – Antagonistic in-laws. Evie dismisses Flossie as "too much" and "poor old Flossie." She resents Flossie's emotional demands on Artie. The two women have little direct interaction; their conflict is mediated through Artie.

Reginald MacDonald – Dead husband, still loved. Flossie insists Reginald was an asshole yet misses him daily. She says he was "a really smart man." Her affair with Ed Merrill was driven by loneliness within the marriage, but Reginald's discovery and his telling Sophie when she was ten caused permanent family damage.

Sophie – Strained mother-daughter relationship. Sophie blames Flossie for the affair and has never forgiven her. Flossie's move to Ohio was an attempt to reconnect, but Sophie "cannot stand" her and is "just looking for a husband" (Chapter 9). This relationship underscores the theme of parenthood and fatherhood—specifically, how parental secrets poison children.

Ed Merrill – The affair partner. Ed is Anne Merrill's husband. Flossie's affair with him is the central secret she reveals. The affair took place "twenty years ago," while she was married to Reginald. Ed is never seen or heard from in the novel; his role is entirely symbolic, representing the secrets and lies that ripple through the community.

Key Decisions and Consequences

  1. Moving to Ohio: Leaves her community and friendship with Artie. The move fails to repair her relationship with Sophie and deepens her isolation.
  2. Keeping the affair secret (until New Year's): The secret festered for twenty years, damaging her marriage and her daughter's trust. When she finally confesses to Artie, it does not heal her—but it frees Artie.
  3. Drinking at the New Year's dinner: Her drunkenness lowers inhibitions, leading her to voice the "shake things up" joke. This unguarded moment catalyzes Artie's laughter. Consequence: she is unaware of the depth of his crisis but becomes unwitting therapist.
  4. Joking about the new president: The joke is a risky political comment in a divided country. It reflects her own numbness and desire to "shake things up." Artie's response—laughing until tears come—ends his suicidal ideation but also signals the death of their old friendship.

Theme and Symbol Connections

  • Loneliness: Flossie is a walking embodiment of the epigraph. She cannot communicate her needs to Sophie, her late husband, or even Artie fully. Her drinking and confessional outbursts are desperate attempts to bridge the gap.
  • Secrets and Lies: The affair is a twenty-year secret that has shaped her family's dynamics. By revealing it, Flossie participates in the novel's central inquiry: what happens when we speak what has been unspoken?
  • Free Will: Flossie's chaotic, impulsive decisions (the affair, the move, the drinking) suggest a character acting on whim rather than calculation. Artie's later thinking about free will is paralleled by Flossie's inability to control her life.
  • Political Division: Her "shake things up" line is one of the novel's few direct references to the incoming president. It shows how even a seemingly apolitical character like Flossie is affected by the national mood, and how laughter can bridge or expose ideological rifts.
  • The Confidante as mirror: Flossie reflects Artie's own hidden despair. She is the only person who might have seen through his "jovial" mask, yet she is too consumed by her own pain to notice. Her comic appearance at the end forces Artie to confront the absurdity of his situation.

Questions and Answers

1. Why does Flossie confess her affair to Artie at New Year's?
Flossie assumes Artie already knew—"everybody else did" (Chapter 9). She confesses partly out of guilt and partly because she needs someone to understand her loneliness. Her daughter's hatred and her own drinking have built pressure; Artie is the only safe person left. The confession is not calculated; it spills out.

2. How does Flossie's relationship with Sophie affect her arc?
Sophie's resentment is the reason Flossie moved to Ohio and the source of her daily unhappiness. Reginald told Sophie about the affair when she was ten, making the child a hostage to adult secrets. Flossie's inability to repair that bond drives her deeper into alcohol and nostalgia for Reginald. It also shows how parental secrets echo across generations, a key theme in the novel.

3. Does Flossie know about Artie's suicide plans?
Explicitly, no. When Artie tells her he nearly drowned, she screams and says, "If you die, I will have to die" (Chapter 2). She accepts his explanation as an accident. At New Year's, she does not probe further. Her lack of awareness is ironic: the one person Artie could "be himself" with cannot see his deepest despair. This reinforces the novel's argument that people hold "vast, unknowable universes" (Chapter 7).

4. What does Flossie's "shake things up" joke reveal about her political stance?
The joke is deliberately ambiguous—she is drunk, and Artie never earlier states her party affiliation. Given that she and Artie "agreed about politics" (Chapter 1) and that Artie opposes the incoming president, Flossie's remark is likely a sarcastic or nihilistic take. She is not endorsing the new administration but expressing fatalism. The laughter it provokes is a release of sorrow, not agreement.

5. Why does Artie's laughter with Flossie mark the end of his suicidal thoughts?
The laughter is a physical catharsis of all the grief Artie has suppressed: his son's car accident, the political direction of the country, his own near-drowning, and the loss of his old friend. Flossie's drunkenness and her ridiculous comment break his composure. Because Flossie is the person he once could laugh freely with, the memory of their friendship resurfaces. The laugh is "awful" but authentic, and afterward he "fleetingly (and correctly)" understands he will never again consider suicide (Chapter 9). It is not Flossie's words but her presence—and the shared absurdity—that saves him.