# Clover in The Collected Regrets of Clover: A Character Analysis

Overview: The Death Doula Who Avoids Living

Clover Brooks is the narrator and protagonist of Mikki Brammer's The Collected Regrets of Clover. At thirty-six, she works as a death doula in New York City, accompanying dying clients and recording their final words in three notebooks labeled REGRETS, CONFESSIONS, and ADVICE. Orphaned at six when her parents died in a boating accident, she was raised by her grandfather, whose own death thirteen years later left her with unresolved grief. Clover's professional intimacy with death contrasts sharply with her personal emotional isolation: she avoids romantic relationships, has few friends, and admits she has never said or received the words “I love you.” The novel traces her gradual movement from observation to participation, as she begins to apply the wisdom she collects from the dying to her own life.

Plot Role: Witness and Participant

Clover is the central figure of the novel; her journey from emotional detachment to engagement forms the plot's spine. As a death doula, she sits with clients like Abigail, a young unhoused woman with liver failure, and Claudia, a former photojournalist with pancreatic cancer. Her professional role places her at the bedside of the dying, where she listens to their regrets and confessions. Yet her personal life remains deliberately small: she lives alone in a rent-controlled apartment inherited from her grandfather, keeps a bulldog and two cats, and maintains only one close friendship with her elderly neighbor Leo. The arrival of new neighbor Sylvie and the reappearance of Sebastian, a man she met at a death café, disrupts her routine and forces her to confront her avoidance. By the novel's end, Clover has written her own regrets in her notebook, apologized to Sylvie, and kissed Hugo, a man she meets on her travels—actions that signal her shift from passive observer to active participant in her own life.

Motivations and Traits Shown Through Actions

Clover's primary motivation is to avoid confronting her own grief and fear of intimacy. She finds purpose in helping others face death, but she uses that role to maintain emotional distance. This is evident in her actions: she lies about her grandmother at the death café to conceal her profession, she screens Sebastian's calls, and she initially rejects Sylvie's friendship out of fear of rejection. Her traits—observant, empathetic, disciplined, and self-contained—are shaped by her grandfather's lessons. In Chapter 14, he teaches her to study people's patterns and body language, telling her that “almost anything can be understood if you study it hard enough.” Clover applies this skill professionally, but she also uses it to keep others at arm's length, analyzing them rather than connecting with them. Her empathy is real, however: she holds the hand of her kindergarten teacher as he dies, and she later sits with clients like Abigail, offering comfort without judgment. Yet her emotional suppression is so deep that she admits she never cries, even when her grandfather dies.

Chronological Arc: From Avoidance to Engagement

Clover's arc unfolds in distinct phases. Childhood trauma: At age five, she witnesses her teacher Mr. Hyland's death and holds his hand as he takes his final breath. At six, her parents die in a boating accident, and she moves to Manhattan to live with her grandfather. She copes by retreating into books and observation, learning to read people's patterns as a way to understand the world without risking emotional involvement. Formation of coping mechanisms: In high school, she is rejected by a potential friend, Priya, who says she cannot be seen with Clover because of social pressure. This reinforces her belief that it is difficult to be anything other than what others assume you are. In her twenties, she studies thanatology and becomes a death doula, finding that her grief feels at home among others who are grieving. She also experiences a painful romantic rejection in Guatemala, when she discovers that Tim, a fellow volunteer she likes, is kissing another volunteer. This leads her to conclude that facing her own pain is harder than facing others'. Professional life: At thirty-six, she is entrenched in her routine, recording clients' final words and avoiding personal connections. The novel's present action begins with the death of a client, Guillermo, and her subsequent decision to attend a death café, where she meets Sebastian. Opening up: Through her friendship with Sylvie, her relationship with Sebastian, and her work with Claudia, Clover begins to take risks. She agrees to help Sebastian under a false pretext, attends a sensual dance class, and eventually writes her own regrets in her notebook. After Claudia's death, she apologizes to Sylvie and reconnects with her. The novel ends with Clover traveling abroad, carrying Claudia's ashes, and kissing Hugo—a man she meets on her journey—signifying her embrace of life's unpredictability.

Relationships: Mirrors and Catalysts

Clover's relationships are central to her transformation. Grandfather: He is her primary caregiver and teacher. His lessons on observation, honesty, and the value of being useful to others shape her professional identity. He also models emotional restraint, and his death leaves her with unresolved grief that she channels into her work. Leo: Her elderly neighbor and only friend. Leo encourages her to open up, challenges her preference for solitude, and reveals that her grandfather sought parenting advice from him. He becomes a surrogate family member, and his presence reminds her of the importance of connection. Sylvie: The new neighbor who becomes a close friend. Sylvie is outgoing and emotionally expressive, and she pushes Clover to explore romance and physical intimacy. Their friendship provides Clover with a safe space to admit her inexperience and to practice vulnerability. Sebastian: A man she meets at a death café. He is initially a source of anxiety, but he becomes a romantic interest. Their relationship is complicated by his role as Claudia's grandson and her employer, but it forces Clover to confront her fear of intimacy. Their argument in Chapter 38, where Sebastian tells her she is “impossible to get close to,” is a turning point. Claudia: A client who becomes a mentor. Claudia's boldness and refusal to live quietly inspire Clover. Claudia's regret—that she prioritized others' needs—serves as a warning, and her death prompts Clover to examine her own life.

Key Decisions and Consequences

Several decisions drive Clover's arc. Becoming a death doula: This choice allows her to channel her grief into purpose, but it also enables her avoidance. Lying about her grandmother at the death café: This lie protects her professional identity but also creates distance from Sebastian, who later discovers the truth. Agreeing to help Sebastian with Claudia: This decision, made under false pretenses, leads to a meaningful relationship with Claudia and forces Clover to confront her own deceptions. Writing her own regrets: After Claudia's death, Clover writes her regrets in pencil, symbolizing the possibility of change. This act marks her shift from passive collector to active agent. Apologizing to Sylvie: After a misunderstanding, Clover takes the initiative to repair their friendship, demonstrating her growing willingness to engage. Kissing Hugo: At the novel's end, Clover initiates a kiss with Hugo, her first real romantic gesture, signifying her embrace of vulnerability.

Theme and Symbol Connections

Clover's notebooks are central symbols. They represent her method of processing death while avoiding her own life. The REGRETS notebook, in particular, becomes a tool for self-reflection when she writes her own entry. The hummingbird, introduced in her grandfather's lesson, symbolizes vitality and presence; Clover feels its wings flutter when she takes risks. The armchair, inherited from her grandfather, represents her attachment to the past; she donates it, signaling her readiness to move forward. The binoculars, a gift from her grandfather, symbolize observation versus participation; Clover uses them to watch others, but eventually she learns to be seen herself. Claudia's camera, given to Clover after her death, represents the act of seeing and being seen, a theme that runs throughout the novel.

Five Book-Specific Questions and Answers

1. Why does Clover keep three separate notebooks for her clients' final words?

She uses them to categorize the wisdom she collects: REGRETS for what clients wish they had done differently, CONFESSIONS for secrets they reveal, and ADVICE for guidance they offer. This system allows her to honor their words while keeping her own emotional distance.

1. What event triggers Clover's decision to write her own regrets?

After Claudia's death, Clover realizes she has been avoiding her own life. She writes her regrets in pencil, symbolizing that they are not inevitable and that she can change her path.

1. How does Clover's relationship with her grandfather influence her work as a death doula?

He taught her to observe people's patterns and to be of use to them, which she applies in her professional role. His lessons on honesty and the value of presence also shape her approach to dying clients.

1. What does the hummingbird symbolize for Clover?

It represents the vitality and presence she admires but initially lacks. She feels its wings flutter when she takes risks, such as kissing Hugo, indicating her growing engagement with life.

1. Why does Clover initially lie about her grandmother at the death café?

She wants to conceal her profession as a death doula to avoid awkwardness and to fit in as a regular attendee. The lie also reflects her habit of hiding her true self to protect against vulnerability.