Chapter 9: Imogen's Crisis of Authenticity
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
After the trivia victory, the group walks back to the dorms under the stars. Kayla and Mika comment on the losing team's grace and their "hottest girls on earth" reputation. Declan makes a remark that earns Kayla's teasing. Lili, busy with her phone, asks about Tribeca's acronym origin, which Imogen jokes is "three Rebeccas." Imogen receives a notification that Tessa started following her on social media. Tessa sends a DM joking about Imogen's bio having no mention of Waldo skills. Imogen immediately adds "Skills: Waldo" to her bio, and Tessa responds with "touché, Scott." The nickname Scott gives Imogen a flutter. Tessa snacks on applesauce from a pouch and defends its superiority. Imogen playfully argues that the world needs both pouches and spoons, and Tessa replies "The bisexuals have spoken." The comment stuns Imogen because Tessa has fully accepted Imogen's claimed bisexual identity without question.
Imogen's internal monologue then races through the concept of sexual fluidity. She cannot wrap her head around what it means for attraction to change. She imagines hypothetically kissing a girl in various scenarios—to make a crush jealous, to discourage a guy, to help a friend—but worries about being the straight girl who uses queer girls. This fear triggers a flashback to her freshman year of high school. During a Pride Alliance meeting, Imogen joked about kissing Clea DuVall's character. Afterwards, her friend Gretchen pulled her aside to explain why straight women joking about queer attraction is harmful. Gretchen emphasized that queer women are real and the jokes appropriate their identity. Imogen apologized immediately.
The chapter then recalls a separate incident at a movie theater bathroom. A girl with heavy eyelashes and a tucked-up skirt assumed Gretchen was hitting on her and rudely announced "I date men." Gretchen fired back that she wasn't interested in the girl's exposed backside, then walked out. In the car, Gretchen vented her exhaustion at being stereotyped. Imogen lightened the mood with a pun, and Gretchen told Imogen she loved her. The memory ends with Imogen feeling she had stopped the rain with a wave of her hand.
Key Events
- The group walks back from trivia; Tessa follows Imogen on social media and DMs her about her bio.
- Imogen adds "Skills: Waldo" to her profile and receives the nickname "Scott."
- Tessa and Imogen discuss applesauce pouches versus spoons, ending with Tessa's "the bisexuals have spoken" comment.
- Imogen internally examines her own attraction, imagining hypothetical kisses with a girl as favors.
- A flashback shows Gretchen teaching Imogen that straight women should not joke about being queer.
- The chapter recalls an incident where a homophobic girl in a bathroom assumed Gretchen was hitting on her.
- Gretchen vents about the arrogance of straight women who assume every queer woman is interested in them.
- Imogen cheers Gretchen up with a pun, and Gretchen professes her love.
Character Development
Imogen begins the chapter feeling euphoric about the nickname Scott from Tessa. However, the casual acceptance of her bisexual identity triggers deep insecurity. She cannot reconcile how she can be perceived as bi when she has only ever had crushes on boys and never kissed anyone. Her imagined scenarios reveal a strategy of framing queer intimacy as a favor to avoid being seen as appropriating. The flashback with Gretchen shows Imogen as a person who has absorbed lessons about straight privilege but now questions whether she herself fits the straight label. She is caught between wanting to be authentic and fearing she might be performing queerness without belonging.
Tessa is playful and direct. She effortlessly calls Imogen by her last name and treats Imogen's identity as a given. Her applesauce pouch comment is affectionate and casual, highlighting her comfort with sexuality in conversation. Tessa does not question or pry, creating both relief and pressure for Imogen.
Gretchen appears through memory as a principled friend who is patient enough to educate Imogen but also vulnerable to homophobic microaggressions. Her movie theater confrontation shows her ability to stand up for herself, while her later deflation reveals the emotional toll. Gretchen's love for Imogen is genuine, reinforced by Imogen's ability to make her laugh.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Performance of Queerness: Imogen's internal debate revolves around whether her claimed bisexuality is a performance—a role she plays for Lili and her friends. The flashback to the Pride Alliance meeting underscores how straight women can "try on" queerness for attention. Imogen's discomfort with this potential accusation drives her self-doubt.
Straight Privilege and Appropriation: Gretchen's speech in the memory directly addresses the harm of straight women joking about queer identity. The chapter contrasts this lesson with Imogen's current situation, where she is not joking but actually claiming an identity. Imogen worries that even her genuine claim might be a form of appropriation if she ultimately is straight.
Sexual Fluidity vs. Certainty: Imogen cannot grasp fluidity as a lived experience. She asks herself whether attraction can truly change and whether a person can "become" queer. This intellectual confusion mirrors her emotional conflict.
Symbols: The applesauce pouch represents Tessa's playful confidence and the casual intimacy developing between her and Imogen. The ten-dollar bill from the trivia photo symbolizes victory and belonging—the group's connection. The movie theater bathroom incident highlights how assumptions about identity cause real harm.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter 9 is the emotional pivot of the novel so far. Imogen steps outside the safe space she has built with Lili and faces the possibility that her claimed identity might not match her internal experience. The flashback to Gretchen raises the stakes: if Imogen is wrong about being bi, she risks becoming the very kind of person Gretchen called out. This chapter crystallizes the central tension—can a person who has never acted on same-gender attraction and who has only experienced heterosexual crushes honestly claim a queer identity? By the end, Imogen is more uncertain than ever, setting up the questioning that will likely drive the rest of the story.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Imogen add "Skills: Waldo" to her social media bio so quickly after Tessa's DM?
Imogen seizes the opportunity to connect with Tessa through humor and alliance. The addition shows that she craves Tessa's approval and enjoys the playful dynamic. It also demonstrates that Imogen is eager to be seen as quick-witted and cool, traits she associates with Tessa and her friend group.
2. In the flashback, what does Gretchen's lesson teach Imogen about straight women and queer identity?
Gretchen explains that straight women often joke about being queer or claim same-gender attraction for clout or humor, which diminishes the lived experience of actual queer women. She urges Imogen to acknowledge her straight privilege and avoid appropriating queer attraction. Imogen internalizes this as a warning to never treat queer identity casually.
3. How does the movie theater bathroom memory affect Imogen's understanding of her own identity?
The incident shows Gretchen being stereotyped and dismissed because of her appearance. Imogen witnesses the arrogance of a straight girl assuming every queer woman is attracted to her. This memory makes Imogen hyperaware of how she might be perceived if she acts on any queer interest—she fears being seen as either a predator or a tourist. It amplifies her anxiety about whether she belongs in queer spaces.