Chapter 32: A Flashback to Lili and Gretchen’s Conflict Over Queer Spaces
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Chapter 32 is a flashback anchored in Imogen’s memory. She recalls the end of eighth grade, when Gretchen transferred to her school and quickly became a central figure. Imogen describes her own anxiety about starting high school alone, and how Gretchen’s confident, knowledgeable presence captivated both Imogen and her younger sister Edith. The only person who never warmed to Gretchen was Lili.
The memory zeroes in on a specific afternoon in May of the previous year. After a Pride meeting, Imogen, Gretchen, and Lili sat at an ice cream shop. Gretchen complained about a new Pride member named Dallas, who had declined to label themselves. Gretchen felt unsafe having someone she assumed was cishet in a queer space. Lili pushed back, arguing that assuming bad faith was unfair and that the person could be closeted. Gretchen revealed that her middle school’s GSA disbanded because cishet boys used false labels to mock the group.
Lili initially apologized for Gretchen’s painful experience, but later, while driving Imogen to school the next morning, she ranted that Gretchen was projecting her trauma onto innocent people. Imogen defended Gretchen, noting that as a queer person, Gretchen’s feelings should take precedence. Lili fell silent, her face pinched with frustration. Imogen never understood Lili’s prickliness until a later ride home from a graduation party—the memory that closes the chapter.
Key Events
- Imogen recalls her dread about entering high school without Lili, and Gretchen’s arrival as a magnetic new friend.
- The ice cream shop confrontation: Gretchen voices discomfort with an unlabeled Pride attendee; Lili challenges her logic.
- Gretchen shares the story of her middle school GSA being attacked by cishet students using fake labels.
- Lili apologizes for the trauma but later criticizes Gretchen’s stance to Imogen, who sides with Gretchen.
- Imogen links Lili’s reaction to something that happened at a graduation party, hinting at a turning point.
Character Development
- Imogen: This chapter shows her earlier mindset: she defers to Gretchen’s queer identity and dismisses Lili’s concerns, revealing her internalized belief that only queer people can judge queer issues.
- Lili: Her pushback against Gretchen’s gatekeeping is sharp and principled. She demonstrates empathy for trauma but refuses to let it justify exclusion. Her frustration with Imogen’s defense of Gretchen foreshadows deeper tension.
- Gretchen: Portrayed as articulate and wounded, she uses her personal history to justify suspicion. The chapter humanizes her while also showing how her trauma can overshadow others’ perspectives.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Gatekeeping vs. inclusivity in queer spaces: The central debate. Gretchen advocates for protective boundaries; Lili argues for open trust.
- Trauma as a lens: Gretchen’s past GSA dissolution colors her present reactions, illustrating how past harm can distort current judgments.
- Allyship and deference: Imogen’s refusal to question Gretchen because she is queer highlights the complexity of allyship—respect without critical thinking can enable exclusion.
- The ice cream as a symbol: The melting ice cream mirrors the dissolving harmony of the group; Gretchen’s forgotten cone symbolizes how her discourse consumes her attention.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter 32 is crucial because it exposes the fault line in Lili and Gretchen’s relationship that later influences Imogen’s own identity journey. It also provides Imogen’s retrospective insight: she now sees how she silenced Lili by granting Gretchen unquestioned authority. This memory sets the stage for Imogen’s eventual realization about her own sexuality and the need to trust her own feelings rather than defer to others.
Study Questions and Answers
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| Why does Gretchen feel unsafe around Dallas, the unlabeled Pride attendee? | Gretchen’s middle school GSA was dismantled by cishet boys who adopted fake labels to mock queer members. She fears a repeat of that trauma and believes requiring everyone to label themselves protects the space. |
| How does Imogen’s response to the conflict reveal her early perspective on queer issues? | Imogen sides with Gretchen because she is queer, telling Lili that it is not her (Imogen’s) place to question a queer person’s feelings. This shows she believes queer identity grants automatic authority, a view she will later challenge. |
| What does Lili’s reaction to Gretchen’s story—apologizing but later criticizing—suggest about her character? | Lili can hold two truths at once: she genuinely sympathizes with Gretchen’s pain, but she refuses to let that pain dictate policy for other queer people. It underscores her commitment to fairness over solidarity when fairness is missing. |