Chapter 36: Sorting Memories and Facing the Lie

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Imogen receives a link from Gretchen about queer perspectives but refuses to click it, wrestling with the fear of speaking over queer voices and the possibility that she might not be straight after all. To give her a break, Imogen’s father sends her and Edith to the basement to sort through old boxes. They sift through childhood costumes, school assignments, and photographs, unearthing Edith’s Lesbian Elsa dress—a reminder of the lie Imogen feels she is living. While going through the memories, Edith reads aloud from her fifth-grade diary, revealing how lonely she felt when Imogen moved up to middle school. The conversation turns to Lili’s move to college and Imogen’s own impending departure. Edith admits she will miss Imogen, surprising Imogen, who always believed she was the one who needed Edith more.

Key Events

Imogen ignores Gretchen’s link, troubled by the lack of consensus among queer perspectives.
Her father orchestrates a “Gretchen detox” by asking the sisters to sort basement boxes.
Imogen and Edith find a childhood Lesbian Elsa costume, which makes Imogen feel guilty.
They recycle old schoolwork, donate toys, and laugh over artifacts like Edith’s horned unicorn drawing.
Edith reads a diary entry about sitting alone on the bus after Imogen left for sixth grade.
The sisters discuss Lili’s move to college and whether their friendship has changed.
Edith confesses she is dreading Imogen leaving for college, admitting she will miss her.
Imogen realizes she has always assumed Edith did not need her, but the truth is the opposite.

Character Development

Imogen: This chapter deepens Imogen’s internal crisis about her sexuality. She applies Occam’s razor to doubt herself, wondering if she is simply trying to be what others want. The Lesbian Elsa dress becomes a physical symbol of the lie she feels trapped in. Her conversation with Edith reveals a vulnerability: Imogen is forced to reconsider her role in the family and her own emotional needs.

Edith: Edith’s diary entry exposes a loneliness she hid as a child, and her admission about dreading Imogen’s departure shows a softer, more dependent side. She is not just the quirky comic relief; she genuinely values her sister’s presence.

Lili (mentioned): Though not present, Lili’s absence looms over the conversation. The sisters question whether distance has changed Lili’s relationship with Imogen, foreshadowing future shifts.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs Evidenced

Identity and the “Straight Girl” Label: Imogen’s refusal to click the link reflects her fear of claiming a queer identity. She feels caught between wanting to listen and not knowing whom to trust, a paralysis that stems from internalized doubt.
Memory and Nostalgia: The box-sorting activity is a literal excavation of the past. Hand-painted costumes, elementary school diaries, and old photos serve as touchstones for childhood innocence and the beginning of secrets.
Sibling Bonds and Separation Anxiety: The chapter contrasts Imogen’s assumption that she needs Edith more with Edith’s confession that she will miss Imogen. It inverts the typical dynamic, showing that mutual need can be hidden even between close siblings.
The Weight of Deception: The Lesbian Elsa dress is a tangible “lie” for Imogen. It connects her present secrecy to a moment in the past when the costume may have represented a truth she now denies.

Why This Chapter Matters

Chapter 36 offers a rare, quiet moment between Imogen and Edith that strips away the weekend’s chaos. It crystallizes Imogen’s inner conflict about her sexuality by placing it next to a concrete childhood artifact—the Elsa dress—forcing her to confront the distance between who she might be and who she has been acting as. The sibling heart-to-heart also grounds the novel’s emotional stakes: Imogen is about to leave for college, and her relationship with Edith will inevitably change. By revealing Edith’s hidden need for Imogen, the chapter deepens the family dynamic and reminds readers that coming out would not only affect Imogen’s romantic life but also her most foundational ties.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Imogen refuse to click Gretchen’s link, and what does this reveal about her mental state?
Imogen is paralyzed by the fear of speaking over queer voices and worried that her own identity might be a performance. She applies Occam’s razor (“the simplest explanation is probably true”) against herself, concluding that she is just trying to please everyone—a sign of deep internalized doubt.

2. How does the Lesbian Elsa dress function as a symbol in this chapter?
The dress represents a truth Imogen is not yet ready to claim. It is a piece of childhood play that may have held real meaning, but now it feels like a lie because Imogen is not open about her sexuality. The guilt she feels holding it shows the emotional weight of her secret.

3. What is the significance of Edith’s confession that she will miss Imogen?
It overturns Imogen’s long-held belief that she is the one who needs Edith. The confession reveals that their bond is reciprocal and that Edith has hidden her own vulnerability. It also highlights the impending separation of college as a genuine loss for both sisters.