Chapter 61: Dry Car Kisses and Honest Conversations
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
After kissing in the rain, Imogen and Tessa retreat to Tessa’s car. They dry off with towels covered in dog hair, and Imogen finds the situation gross but feels joy. Tessa kisses Imogen on the head, and Imogen thinks the word girlfriend for the first time. She worries about being a clingy or naive young queer person, but Tessa’s presence in her town gives her hope. Tessa suggests setting up a tent for five months; Imogen offers her house but warns her parents will be there. Tessa is confident she can win over Imogen’s parents but emphasizes that Imogen should control the coming-out process — something she never had with Gretchen. Imogen remembers Gretchen’s dismissive “you know it’s okay to be straight, right?” and realizes Gretchen may forever be just a backstory.
Key Events
- Imogen and Tessa dry themselves with dog-hair-covered towels in the car.
- Tessa kisses Imogen’s head, prompting Imogen to label the relationship “girlfriend.”
- Imogen debates whether she’s moving too fast as a “naive baby queer.”
- Tessa jokes about camping for five months, then accepts Imogen’s offer to meet her parents.
- Tessa insists Imogen be in control of how she comes out to her family.
- Imogen reflects on Gretchen’s amused, invalidating response to her coming out.
- Imogen considers that her friendship with Gretchen might be over.
Character Development
Imogen begins to openly accept the word “girlfriend” and to challenge her own internalized doubts about the validity of her feelings. She also starts to separate her sense of self from Gretchen’s narrative, acknowledging that Gretchen’s reaction was harmful and that the friendship may not survive.
Tessa shows emotional intelligence: she prioritizes Imogen’s agency over her own desire to meet the parents quickly. She names her ADHD as part of her personality but jokes about it, signaling comfort with herself.
Gretchen appears only in memory, but the chapter redefines her role — from Imogen’s first confidante to a figure of painful invalidation.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Coming out on one’s own terms. Tessa’s insistence that Imogen choose the time and place for coming out contrasts sharply with Gretchen’s dismissive reaction, highlighting how crucial agency is for a positive coming-out experience.
The weight of labels. Imogen’s internal debate over the word “girlfriend” reflects the broader struggle of claiming identity labels as a newly out person.
Queer self-doubt. Imogen calls herself a “naive baby queer” and worries about her feelings being real; the chapter validates that such doubts are common but doesn’t let them define her.
Invalidation vs. support. Gretchen’s casual, amused dismissal is juxtaposed with Tessa’s careful thoughtfulness, showing the difference between a harmful and a healthy response.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter 61 is a quiet but crucial turning point. Imogen explicitly labels her relationship with Tessa as “girlfriend” for the first time, both in her mind and in their interaction. It also marks the beginning of Imogen’s emotional separation from Gretchen — she names the harm and accepts that some relationships become backstory. The chapter reinforces the novel’s central idea that queer joy is real and deserves to be taken seriously.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Imogen hesitate to call Tessa her “girlfriend” at first?
Imogen fears she is being a “clingy high school girl” or a “naive baby queer” who imprints too quickly. Her hesitation reflects internalized pressure to prove her queerness is authentic before claiming a label.
2. How does Tessa’s approach to meeting Imogen’s parents differ from Gretchen’s reaction to Imogen coming out?
Tessa wants Imogen to have full control over when and how she comes out to her parents, even delaying her own desire to meet them. Gretchen, by contrast, treated Imogen’s confession as amusing and presumed Imogen was straight, stripping Imogen of agency.
3. What does Imogen mean when she says, “Maybe Gretchen’s my backstory”?
Imogen accepts that the friendship may not survive the hurt of Gretchen’s invalidation. Gretchen will always be the first person Imogen came out to, but that moment may now be part of her past rather than her present.