Ending explained Girls Can Kiss Now Jill Gutowitz

Girls Can Kiss Now Ending Explained: Does Jill Gutowitz Find Love and Closure?

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

The Ending in Brief

The memoir concludes with two intertwined resolutions: a present-day climax set during early COVID-19 quarantine and a retrospective epilogue addressed to Gutowitz’s younger self. In the final chapter, Gutowitz experiences an emotional breakdown after listening to Taylor Swift’s folklore alone. She imagines herself as a werewolf fleeing into the woods and records video monologues critiquing capitalism’s obsession with being extraordinary. She realises that love with her girlfriend Emma is more fulfilling than the fame she once chased. She emerges from isolation and tells Emma she no longer wants to be special—just to be with her. In the epilogue (Chapter 10), Gutowitz writes a letter to her twenty-three-year-old self that foreshadows her coming out, first hookups with women, and meeting Emma. The book closes on a hopeful, settled note: Gutowitz has escaped her “yearn cage,” built a genuine partnership, and stopped trying to force cinematic meaning onto her life.

Climax and Resolution

The climax of Girls Can Kiss Now occurs in Chapter 14, “The Beast.” Gutowitz is living in isolation during the pandemic, depressed by celebrity pandemic posts and her own doom-scrolling. Her sister Maddie calls to announce Taylor Swift’s surprise album folklore, which Gutowitz listens to alone. The music triggers a cathartic emotional breakdown she describes as a werewolf transformation: she metaphorically flees into the woods, records a series of video monologues, and confronts the social pressure to be extraordinary. She argues that capitalism forces people to value being special over genuine connection. The climax explicitly names love—her relationship with Emma—as the thing she nearly sacrificed. She emerges from the woods and tells Emma she no longer desires fame, only their life together. This represents the culmination of her arc from seeking male validation and Hollywood status to choosing authentic intimacy.

Earlier in the book, the peak of her romantic turmoil comes in Chapter 8, “Crush Me at the Forum,” where she shares a tearful last kiss with Kate at a concert and later tries to force closure with the performing pop star at a dinner. She admits she is an unreliable narrator and that the real ending with Kate was quiet, not cinematic. That chapter teaches her that meaning cannot be artificially imposed.

Major Character Outcomes

  • Jill Gutowitz completes her journey from repressed, fame-obsessed young adult to an out lesbian who values love over status. She ends the book living with her girlfriend Emma, having come out to family and friends, and no longer chasing the exceptional.

  • Emma: Emma is Gutowitz’s first true love and long-term partner. They meet on Hinge, and by the end of the memoir they share a home during the pandemic. Emma’s presence is the catalyst for Gutowitz’s final realisation that love is more important than specialness. She is the stable, present love that contrasts with earlier toxic relationships.

  • Darcy: Darcy is Gutowitz’s intense best friend from a Christian-cult-like dinner group. Their relationship is defined by lesbian yearning: a kiss, a confession of love in an Uber, and eventual ghosting (Chapter 5). Darcy never fully reciprocates Gutowitz’s romantic feelings. By the end of the book, Darcy is part of Gutowitz’s past; she serves as a symbol of the “yearn cage” that Gutowitz must break out of.

  • Kate: Kate is Gutowitz’s toxic on-again, off-again girlfriend from Chapter 8. Their relationship ends definitively after a date seeing Hamilton; Kate asks Gutowitz not to come inside her home. Gutowitz learns that the dramatic concert goodbye was not the real ending—the quiet rejection in the Hollywood Hills was.

  • Brooke: Brooke is the popular older girl who sparked Gutowitz’s first gay panic at a teen tennis dinner (Chapter 7). She does not reappear in the later chapters; her role is limited to a memory that triggers self-awareness.

  • Sam: Sam is Gutowitz’s supportive friend who accompanies her to the concert where she meets Kate. He remains a constant presence, encouraging her without judgment. He is last seen at the disappointing dinner with the pop star, grounding Gutowitz in reality.

Resolved vs Unresolved Threads

Resolved:

  • Gutowitz’s internalised homophobia and shame around her sexuality are confronted through therapy and coming out. By the epilogue, she is an out lesbian in a committed relationship.
  • Her craving for fame and male validation is deconstructed across several chapters. In Chapter 6 she rejects the “boys’ club” mentality, and in Chapter 14 she explicitly abandons the pursuit of being special.
  • The toxic dynamic with Darcy ends when Darcy ghosts her. Gutowitz moves on to healthier relationships.
  • The relationship with Kate is concluded cleanly after the Hamilton date, though Gutowitz acknowledges she initially misremembered the ending as more cinematic.

Unresolved:

  • Gutowitz’s attempt to obtain FBI records after her meme interrogation (Chapter 1) is blocked by a Glomar response. This thread is never revisited; it remains an open wound about government overreach.
  • Her relationship with her parents (who went bankrupt and moved to Mountain Lakes) is not fully mended. She does not detail reconciling with them after coming out.
  • The question of whether pop culture can ever fully compensate for real-life connection is left as an ongoing tension. Gutowitz continues to write about pop culture and queerness, but she accepts that it is a tool, not a solution.

Theme Resolution

Queer shame and reclamation: Gutowitz explicitly reclaims her shame in Chapter 9 by redefining MILF for queer women and asking Julianne Moore to step on her. The ending shows her no longer controlled by shame; she lives openly with Emma.

Pop culture as a tool for identity formation: Throughout the memoir, Gutowitz uses movies, TV, and music to understand herself. By the end, she recognises that these cultural artifacts cannot give her closure (as with the pop star dinner) but can anchor memories. She accepts that meaning is not pre-written.

The internet’s role in queer connection and trauma: The book opens with the internet as a source of shame and FBI interrogation. Later, it becomes a way to find community (Gaylor theories, dating apps). At the close, Gutowitz is at peace with the internet’s dual nature, having learned to limit doom-scrolling.

Tension between fame and genuine connection: The central arc of the memoir is Gutowitz’s decision to stop seeking fame and instead invest in love. Chapter 14’s werewolf metaphor explicitly names this trade-off. The ending affirms that love is more valuable.

Toxic relationships and the search for authentic love: Gutowitz moves from yearning (Darcy) to toxic on-off relationships (Kate) to a stable, communicative partnership with Emma. The epilogue celebrates meeting Emma and discovering that sex and dating can be fun and meaningful.

Epilogue: Letter to Her Younger Self

Chapter 10, “I Know This Now,” is written as a letter to Gutowitz at age twenty-three. It summarises the entire future arc: coming out to friends and family (with varying reactions), first hookups with women (including one where Gutowitz was too high), short flings, and finally meeting Emma on Hinge. The letter previews her first kiss with Emma, their date at a dive bar where Gutowitz had diarrhea from nerves, and the realisation that she is ready for something real. The epilogue explicitly tells her younger self that she will survive the pain of an abusive relationship with Brian and that “girls rock.” It ends with a playful, affectionate tone that signals the author has achieved the clarity she lacked in her early twenties.

Interpretations

  1. The memoir itself as a coming-out act: Girls Can Kiss Now can be read as Gutowitz completing her coming-out process publicly. The book’s title, taken from a chapter heading, asserts that queer women now have permission to kiss, act, and be visible.

  2. Teaching herself to stop yearning: The entire narrative is an indictment of the “yearn cage.” By ending with a stable partnership, Gutowitz argues that queer people deserve happy endings, not just tragic or ambiguous ones.

  3. The unreliability of memory and narrative: Gutowitz repeatedly admits she is an unreliable narrator (Chapter 8). The real ending with Kate was quiet, not cinematic. This suggests that we impose stories on our lives, and the book’s true ending is not the dramatic werewolf climax but the quiet domesticity with Emma.

  4. Pop culture as both prison and liberation: Gutowitz never fully rejects pop culture, but she renegotiates her relationship with it. She no longer needs it to validate her existence, but she continues to write about it.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Does Jill Gutowitz end up with Emma?

Yes. In the final chapter, she lives with Emma during the pandemic and explicitly chooses love over the pursuit of fame. The epilogue foreshadows their meeting on Hinge and the development of their relationship, confirming they are together at the time of writing.

2. What happens to Kate? Does Jill get closure with her?

Gutowitz and Kate end their relationship after a date seeing Hamilton. Kate asks Gutowitz not to come inside her home, leading to a quiet, lonely goodbye in the Hollywood Hills. Gutowitz initially imagines a more cinematic ending at a concert but later admits she is an unreliable narrator. Closure comes not from a dramatic moment but from accepting that the real ending was ordinary.

3. Is there a definitive resolution to the FBI investigation from Chapter 1?

No. Gutowitz’s request for her FBI records is blocked by a Glomar response, meaning the government neither confirms nor denies the existence of records. This thread remains unresolved, underscoring the memoir’s critique of surveillance and the arbitrary power of federal agencies.

4. How does Gutowitz overcome her “yearn cage”?

She confronts it through therapy (acknowledged in Chapter 10), by recognising that the lesbian movies of her youth taught her to yearn but not act, and by eventually dating women. Meeting Emma forces her to stop romanticising suffering and actually commit to a relationship.

5. What does the “Beast” chapter mean?

The “Beast” is Gutowitz’s metaphor for the internal pressure to be extraordinary, fuelled by capitalism. During her pandemic isolation, she experiences a werewolf-like transformation (a breakdown) and then chooses to return to Emma, rejecting the beast of ambition in favour of love.

6. Does Gutowitz regret any of her past relationships or experiences?

She expresses regret for the shame she carried, for staying in a coercive relationship with Brian, and for letting her friendship with Darcy become toxic. However, she frames these experiences as necessary learning. The letter to her younger self is forgiving and forward-looking, not regretful. She ends the book satisfied with where she has arrived.