Chapter 14. The Beast: A Pandemic Transformation

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

During the early months of the COVID‑19 quarantine in 2020, Jill Gutowitz describes a daily routine of hypercaffeination, doom‑scrolling, and growing rage at the disconnect between celebrity posts and the unfolding crisis. She becomes depressed by performances from figures like Ellen DeGeneres and lip‑syncing casts of old shows. When Taylor Swift announces a surprise album, folklore, Gutowitz reluctantly listens, triggering an emotional breakdown that she frames as a werewolf transformation. She imagines fleeing into the woods, living in isolation, and recording video monologues about capitalism’s demand for extraordinary achievement. Through these reflections she confronts the paradox of being told to be special yet condemned for it. Ultimately she realizes that her relationship with Emma matters more than fame or success, and she chooses love over the relentless pursuit of being extraordinary.

Key Events

Gutowitz sees a Kim Kardashian tweet about a horse while she cannot afford healthcare, sparking her frustration with celebrity content during the pandemic.
Ellen DeGeneres and other celebrities post tone‑deaf quarantine content, deepening Gutowitz’s depression.
Gutowitz’s sister Maddie FaceTimes her at 6:30 a.m. to announce Taylor Swift’s surprise album folklore.
Gutowitz listens to the album alone by candlelight, leading to an emotional meltdown she describes as becoming a werewolf.
She imagines running into the woods, then records multiple video diary entries (dated July–October 2020) in which she discusses capitalism, the obsession with the extraordinary, and the cost of pursuing uniqueness.
She remembers key moments with her girlfriend Emma and concludes that love is more fulfilling than ambition.
Gutowitz emerges from her metaphorical woods and tells Emma she no longer wants to be special; she just wants to be with her.

Character Development

Jill Gutowitz – Shifts from a driven pop‑culture enthusiast who craves success and recognition to someone who questions that drive. She experiences depression, rage, and a symbolic transformation into a “beast.” Her arc culminates in choosing love and a simple life over the need to be extraordinary.
Emma – Remains a grounding presence throughout. Gutowitz’s memories of Emma (their first kiss, daily routines, shared moments) serve as the emotional anchor that pulls her back from isolation.
Maddie – Gutowitz’s younger sister; acts as a messenger of pop‑culture news (the Taylor Swift album) and provides a light, affectionate contrast to the chapter’s heavy themes.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

The Beast / Werewolf Transformation – A central metaphor for the raw, feral emotions that quarantine and celebrity dissonance awaken in Gutowitz. The werewolf represents the anger, fear, and loss of control she experiences.
The Woods / Isolation – Symbolizes Gutowitz’s retreat from society and her need to reflect on what she truly values. The woods also echo the aesthetic of Taylor Swift’s folklore album.
Capitalism and the Cult of the Extraordinary – Gutowitz critiques how capitalism pressures everyone to be special while punishing those who try, and argues that this pursuit often sacrifices love and connection.
Pop Culture as Mirror – She argues that celebrity media, once a harmless escape, now reflects broken systems and personal emptiness in the pandemic era.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter crystallizes the book’s broader tension between pop‑culture obsession and personal fulfillment. It shows Gutowitz moving from an avid consumer of celebrity narratives to a skeptical participant who re‑evaluates her own ambitions. The choice to “not want to be special” is a radical counter to the millennial hustle culture she previously embraced. It also offers a nuanced look at how the pandemic disrupted not only daily life but also the very meaning of success.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Gutowitz describe celebrities’ pandemic posts as “a vast black hole of emptiness”?
She argues that during a global crisis, shallow content from the wealthy exposes the hollowness of fame. Posts that would have been entertaining now feel tone‑deaf, reflecting the broken systems that allow inequality to persist.

2. How does the metaphor of the werewolf connect to Gutowitz’s emotional state in this chapter?
The werewolf transformation symbolizes her loss of control, rising anger, and the eruption of suppressed emotions. The “beast” is both a monster she fears becoming and a part of herself she has been running from—her authentic, vulnerable self that prioritizes love over ambition.

3. What does Gutowitz ultimately conclude about the value of being “special”?
She decides that the relentless pursuit of uniqueness and immortality is a product of capitalist ideology that often costs people meaningful relationships. She chooses Emma and a simple life—love, home, mundane joys—over the pressure to be extraordinary.