Chapter 188: You Can Hold My Hand – Lizzie
⚠️ Spoilers Below – Chapter 188 of Releasing 10 by Chloe Walsh
Summary
Lizzie returns to her room at the Biggs house and finds Hugh devastated after their intimate encounter. She mocks his remorse, insisting they only broke his “no-touch rule” in spirit. Her anger escalates when she reveals that a “monster” has been sexually assaulting her in dreams for years, claiming she has been “sleep-cheating” on him. Hugh tries to leave, but Lizzie follows him downstairs, screaming about wanting to be fixed and loved. She bolts into the rain toward the road, threatening to find someone else. Hugh catches her, drags her back, and roars that being without her is worse than the misery she causes. When Lizzie finally calms, Hugh agrees to take her to his house until her parents return. She asks for his hand, and he gives it.
Key Events
- Hugh is visibly shattered after the sexual act, while Lizzie dismisses his guilt.
- Lizzie reveals she has a recurring nightmare involving a male figure she calls “the monster” who forces himself on her.
- She accuses Hugh of not truly loving her; he fires back that she is the one who left him.
- Lizzie runs to the road in the rain; Hugh physically stops her and prevents her from going to “him.”
- Hugh confesses that being away from her hurts more than her misery does.
- He offers to walk her to his place, and Lizzie asks to hold his hand; he agrees.
Character Development
Lizzie – Her bipolar-like highs and lows are on full display. She swings from mocking aggression to desperate pleading, revealing deep-seated trauma from recurring sexual nightmares. Her self-worth is shattered, and she alternates between pushing Hugh away and clinging to him as a lifeline.
Hugh – Despite his exhaustion and frustration, Hugh cannot abandon her. His love is shown through actions—stopping her from running into danger, offering shelter, and giving her his hand. He is torn between his own need for peace and his duty to protect her.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- The Monster / Nightmares – Lizzie’s dreams of being sexually assaulted by an unnamed figure symbolize her unresolved trauma and her feeling of being violated even in sleep. The monster may also represent her self-destructive urges or past abuse.
- Rain – The downpour mirrors the emotional storm between the characters. It soaks them both, erasing boundaries and forcing physical closeness that words cannot achieve.
- Hand‑holding – The chapter’s title and ending turn a simple act into an emblem of trust and provisional connection. Hugh’s agreement to hold her hand shows he is willing to enter her chaos, if only for a walk.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter marks a low point in Lizzie’s mental health crisis and a turning point in her relationship with Hugh. It explicitly names the “monster” in her nightmares, hinting at past sexual trauma that has not yet been fully addressed in the narrative. Hugh’s decision to take her home rather than leave her at the Biggs house re‑establishes his role as her protector, even after he reached his breaking point. The imagery of the rain and the hand‑hold provides a potent symbol of fragile reconnection.
Study Questions and Answers
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What does Lizzie mean when she talks about “the monster” in her dreams?
She refers to a recurring figure who sexually assaults her while she sleeps. This suggests untreated trauma, possibly linked to past experiences of sexual violence, which fuels her volatile behavior and her feeling of being “cheating” on Hugh against her will. -
Why does Hugh tell Lizzie that being around her makes him miserable, yet also say that not being around her is worse?
Hugh is caught in a paradox of love and self‑preservation. Lizzie’s mental illness drains him, but his devotion to her means that separation causes even greater pain. His statement reveals his deep commitment despite the cost to his own well‑being. -
How does the physical gesture of holding hands function as a symbol in this scene?
Holding hands is a voluntary, gentle act of intimacy after a violent eruption. Hugh’s agreement to let Lizzie hold his hand shows he is still willing to offer comfort and connection, even after being pushed to his limit. It signifies a tentative truce and a promise of care.