Symbols If I Tell You the Truth Jasmin Kaur

The Folding Knife: Protection, Trust, and Survival in If I Tell You the Truth

Introduction

In If I Tell You the Truth, Jasmin Kaur weaves a powerful narrative through prose and poetry, following the intertwined lives of mother Kiran and daughter Sahaara. Among the few physical objects that carry deep symbolic weight is a black folding knife given by Sahaara’s best friend, Jeevan. The knife is not merely a weapon; it becomes a tangible representation of the need for self-protection, the weight of living under constant threat, and the quiet promise of love and solidarity. This analysis examines where the knife appears, how its meaning shifts, and its connection to the novel’s central characters and themes.

What Is the Folding Knife?

The knife is described as a compact, black-bladed folding knife with a rough handle and a lock mechanism. Jeevan gives it to Sahaara in Chapter 130, after a tense encounter with the victim-blaming reporter Sunny Sahota. Jeevan has had the knife sharpened and demonstrates how to open it by pulling the blade out until it clicks, and how to close it by pushing a steel lock strip to the side. The knife is small enough to be concealed against Sahaara’s body, yet sharp enough to cut skin. It is a practical tool for self-defense, but also a burden—a constant reminder of the danger that shadows Sahaara’s family.

Where the Knife Appears

The folding knife recurs at key moments in the novel, each time reinforcing its symbolic role:

  • Chapter 130 (the water in his eyes): Jeevan gives the knife to Sahaara before her trip to Mumbai, warning her to keep it on her at all times. He shows her how to use it, and the scene ends with an emotionally charged kiss that complicates their friendship.
  • Chapter 134 (the night before the flight): Sahaara packs the knife beneath a blazer in her suitcase, and her aunt Maasi approves of Jeevan’s gift, calling it a good call.
  • Chapter 135 (mom’s rules for mumbai): Kiran, Sahaara’s mother, includes the instruction “don’t lose the knife” in her list of rules for the journey.
  • Chapter 158 (friendship): While entering the Indian News Network building, Sahaara conceals the knife against her breast. Though she knows she won’t need it there, keeping the promise to Jeevan eases a weight off her shoulders, and the knife keeps him close even though they have hardly spoken since the kiss.
  • Chapter 175 (him): After returning from Mumbai, Sahaara tells Jeevan that she “almost used” the knife, hinting at a dangerous encounter that forced her to consider self-defense.

Shifting Meanings

The knife’s meaning evolves throughout the story as Sahaara’s situation changes.

  • A gift of protection: Initially, the knife is a straightforward tool for self-defense. Jeevan gives it because he is terrified for Sahaara’s safety in Mumbai, where she will accompany her mother Kiran to a magazine award ceremony in the midst of a political crisis. The knife represents Jeevan’s care and his deep-seated fear of harm befalling the people he loves—a fear born from his own experience with an abusive father.

  • A promise and a burden: As Sahaara carries the knife, it becomes more than a weapon. It is a physical embodiment of the constant vigilance required by someone living under threat—an undocumented family crossing borders, a survivor of sexual assault going public, a teenager navigating a world that blames victims. The knife’s weight on Sahaara’s body mirrors the emotional weight of secrecy, fear, and the need to be always on guard.

  • A link to Jeevan: After their kiss strains their friendship, Sahaara uses the knife as a way to keep Jeevan close. In Chapter 158, she notes that “keeping this promise to Jeevan eases a weight off my shoulders” and that “a folding knife keeps him close.” The object becomes a conduit for their unresolved feelings, preserving a bond that words can no longer easily express.

  • A measure of danger: By Chapter 175, Sahaara’s confession that she “almost used” the knife shows how real the threat became. The knife is no longer theoretical; it nearly became an instrument of violence in self-defense. This moment underscores how the constant threat of assault or persecution can push a person to the edge of using a weapon they never wanted to need.

Character Connections

  • Sahaara Kaur: The knife is a burden she must carry, but also a lifeline. It symbolizes her reluctance to become a victim and her determination to survive. Carrying it requires her to accept the reality of danger, which conflicts with her desire for a normal teenage life. The knife also becomes a secret companion, a silent witness to her growth from a girl into a young woman who must make hard choices.

  • Jeevan: The knife reveals Jeevan’s protective nature, shaped by his own trauma—witnessing his father’s violence against his mother. He buys the knife with the intention of using it against his father if necessary, but never does. By giving it to Sahaara, he passes on that unresolved need to defend someone vulnerable. The knife also becomes a bridge between them after their relationship becomes strained.

  • Kiran Kaur: Though Kiran never touches the knife, her rule “don’t lose the knife” shows that she accepts its necessity. As a survivor of sexual assault and an undocumented immigrant, she knows the world is not safe. The knife becomes an unspoken agreement between mother and daughter: we must protect ourselves because no one else will.

  • Maasi (aunt): She explicitly approves of Jeevan’s gift, calling it a good call. This approval from an adult reinforces that the knife is not a childish rebellion but a legitimate safety measure.

Thematic Links

  • Trauma and Survival: The knife is a direct response to trauma—both the trauma Sahaara might face and the trauma Jeevan has already survived. Carrying a weapon forces the carrier to remain in a survivor mindset, never fully free.

  • Mother‑Daughter Bond: Kiran’s rule about the knife shows the shared understanding between mother and daughter about the dangers of being women without status or power. The knife becomes a tool that binds them in mutual protection.

  • Immigration and Undocumented Status: For undocumented families, the threat of deportation, violence, and lack of legal recourse makes self-protection a constant necessity. The knife symbolizes the precarious existence of those who cannot rely on the state for safety.

  • Truth‑Telling and Activism: Sahaara carries the knife into the news network where her mother will give a live interview about her assault. The weapon is a hidden counterpoint to the public act of truth-telling—a reminder that speaking out does not eliminate danger; it often amplifies it.

  • Intergenerational Healing and Identity: The knife connects generations: Jeevan’s trauma with his father, Sahaara’s with her mother’s secret, and Kiran’s with her own mother Hardeep. The knife is a physical token of the pain that must be acknowledged before healing can begin.

Study Questions

1. Why does Jeevan give Sahaara the folding knife, and how does his own past influence this decision?
Answer: Jeevan gives the knife because he fears for Sahaara’s safety during her trip to Mumbai. He has lived with a violent father and once bought the knife to protect himself and his mother. Giving it to Sahaara is his way of offering the protection he never had and a physical promise that she is not alone.

2. In Chapter 158, Sahaara says the knife “keeps him close.” What does this reveal about the state of their relationship after the kiss?
Answer: After the kiss in Chapter 130, Jeevan and Sahaara have barely spoken. The knife becomes a substitute for direct communication. By carrying it, Sahaara honors his concern and maintains a connection that words have failed. It shows that despite the distance, their bond remains strong and unspoken.

3. How does the mother-daughter relationship shape the meaning of the knife, especially through Kiran’s rule “don’t lose the knife”?
Answer: Kiran’s inclusion of the knife in her list of rules shows that she accepts the necessity of self-protection, even though it is a grim reality. It signals a shared understanding between mother and daughter that the world is dangerous for women like them. The knife becomes a tool of survival endorsed by the parent, turning it into a family talisman rather than a teenage whim.

4. The knife is never used for violence in the novel. Why do you think Kaur chose to keep it as a “nearly used” object rather than having it actually employed?
Answer: By keeping the knife unused, Kaur emphasizes the constant fear and anticipation of violence rather than violence itself. The threat is so pervasive that even possessing the weapon changes Sahaara’s experience. The “almost” moment in Chapter 175 shows that the real danger is not always physical attack but the psychological weight of living under threat. The knife remains a symbol of potential violence, which is often more haunting than violence actualized.