Chapter summaries If I Tell You the Truth Jasmin Kaur

Chapter 83: coping – Summary & Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

The speaker has been avoiding Sunny for one month and two weeks. She will not look at him when they pass in the hallway, even though she can feel his gaze warming the nape of her neck. In class, Sunny tries and fails to get her attention. Despite these efforts, the speaker insists she is okay and smiling. She is actively counting everything that gives her joy—everything except Sunny’s twinkling eyes.

Key Events

  • Six weeks have passed since the speaker began avoiding Sunny.
  • She refuses to make eye contact with him in the hallway.
  • She is aware of his gaze but chooses not to respond.
  • Sunny attempts to get her attention in class but is unsuccessful.
  • The speaker declares she is okay and smiling.
  • She counts other sources of joy, deliberately excluding Sunny.

Character Development

  • The speaker (Kiran): Shows determination in her effort to move on. Her avoidance is a deliberate coping strategy. She presents a composed exterior (“okay”, “smiling”) while privately redirecting her focus, yet the mention of Sunny’s eyes hints at unresolved feelings.
  • Sunny: Demonstrates persistence by trying to get her attention despite her clear withdrawal. His gaze suggests he still hopes to connect.

Themes, Symbols & Motifs

  • Coping mechanisms: The speaker uses avoidance and mental redirection to manage her emotions. The act of “counting” joy becomes a tool for self-preservation.
  • Emotional suppression: The contrast between her outward smile and the inner effort required to ignore Sunny points to a gap between appearance and reality.
  • Unspoken connection: The detail of the “gaze warming the nape of my neck” suggests a lingering physical and emotional bond that the speaker resists.

Why This Chapter Matters

This brief poem marks a turning point in the speaker’s emotional journey. She is actively trying to detach from Sunny, but the language reveals the cost—her counting of joys is performed besides him, not without him. The chapter underscores the difficulty of healing from a significant relationship and sets the stage for whether this avoidance will hold or break.

Study Questions & Answers

  1. How does the speaker’s avoidance of Sunny manifest in her daily actions?
    She refuses to look at him when they pass in the hallway, even when she feels his gaze. In class she does not respond to his attempts to get her attention.

  2. What does the speaker’s claim of being “okay” and “smiling” suggest about her emotional state?
    It suggests she is putting on a brave face. The repetition of “and i was okay. / and i was smiling.” feels like a self‑reassurance rather than a settled truth, hinting that she is still struggling.

  3. Why might the speaker specifically mention “besides his twinkling eyes” when counting her joys?
    It shows that his eyes—and by extension, him—are still very much on her mind. By naming what she is excluding, she reveals that it remains a defining absence in her life.

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