Chapter summaries If I Tell You the Truth Jasmin Kaur

Chapter 150: A Rough Start - Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.


Summary

Sahaara wakes to find her mother standing silently by the window, watching ferry boats in the early morning light. When Sahaara asks if she slept well, her mother admits she did not sleep at all. The two share a quiet moment, and Sahaara asks how it feels to be home. Her mother replies that this place is not home—Punjab was home, but that home was stolen from her. She explains that the man who harmed her took away her sense of safety, forcing her to leave. She wonders if she would even recognize Punjab today.

The conversation shifts to the upcoming visit from Sahaara’s maternal grandmother, whom Sahaara refuses to call “nani.” Her mother says she feels ready, as if a weight is lifting. When Sahaara presses further, her mother admits she felt guilty about leaving but knows she had to. Then, hesitantly, she reveals a plan: after the meeting with her own mother, she would like to sponsor the grandmother to live with them in Canada. Sahaara reacts with shock and anger, insisting that her real family is Bibi, Maasi, Jeevan, and her mother—not this stranger who abandoned her. She says the grandmother means nothing to her and accuses her of abandoning her mother because of Sahaara herself. Sahaara immediately regrets using the word “abandoned,” but the damage is done. Her mother turns away, hurt, and tells her to get dressed for the long day ahead.


Key Events

  • Sahaara wakes and finds her mother watching the morning ferries with a cup of tea.
  • Her mother confesses she could not sleep and reflects on what home means.
  • She admits that home was stolen from her when she was forced to leave Punjab.
  • The conversation turns to the grandmother’s impending visit.
  • Her mother reveals she feels ready and less burdened.
  • She shares plans to eventually sponsor her mother to live with them in Canada.
  • Sahaara strongly opposes the idea, rejecting the grandmother as family.
  • An argument erupts, with Sahaara accusing the grandmother of abandonment.
  • Her mother is visibly hurt and ends the conversation by telling Sahaara to get ready.

Character Development

Sahaara shows a fierce loyalty to the family that raised her—Bibi, Maasi, Jeevan. She is unwilling to consider reconciliation with a grandmother who was absent and, in her eyes, complicit in her mother’s suffering. Her impulsive use of the word “abandoned” reveals both her anger and her immaturity; she immediately regrets it, indicating her underlying love for her mother and desire not to cause pain. This moment challenges Sahaara to see her mother as someone with her own unresolved grief, not just a parent.

Sahaara’s mother (Mom) displays rare vulnerability in this scene. She admits her guilt and pain about leaving Punjab and her family. Her decision to sponsor her own mother, despite past hurt, shows a capacity for forgiveness and hope for change. She is caught between her daughter’s fierce opposition and her own need to heal old wounds. Her quiet hurt after Sahaara’s outburst suggests that the mother-daughter bond is strong but tested by conflicting ideas of family.


Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Home – The chapter opens with the question of what home means. Mom says Punjab was home, but it was stolen from her. Sahaara’s home is now in Canada with Bibi, Maasi, and Jeevan. The grandmother represents a lost home and a possible future one. The symbol of the “pond water” stillness of Mom’s position suggests a calm surface hiding deep currents of emotion.

Guilt and Survival – Mom feels guilty for leaving Punjab and for the way she left. Sahaara’s anger is also rooted in guilt—she feels responsible for causing the grandmother’s rejection of her mother. Survival required difficult choices, and this chapter dwells on the emotional cost.

Family Loyalty vs. Reconciliation – Sahaara draws a clear line: her family is those who have been present. Mom, however, is willing to extend grace to the mother who failed her. This sets up a central conflict: can family be redefined to include those who have caused harm?

Light and Dawn – The morning light, the silhouettes of ferries, and the golden mist create an atmosphere of new beginnings. Yet the conversation reveals that some wounds remain in the dark. Dawn symbolizes both hope and the harsh clarity of unresolved pain.


Why This Chapter Matters

Chapter 150 is a pivotal moment for the mother-daughter relationship. It brings to the surface a deep disagreement about forgiveness and family boundaries. The grandmother’s impending visit forces both characters to articulate their loyalties and fears. Sahaara’s harsh words show that she is not ready to share her mother’s openness. The chapter also deepens our understanding of Mom’s backstory—her forced departure from Punjab, her guilt, and her yearning to reclaim some part of her original home. The conflict sets up future tension and potential growth for both characters as they navigate the grandmother’s arrival and the question of what home and family truly mean.


❓ Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Sahaara react so strongly to her mother’s plan to sponsor the grandmother?

Sahaara feels that her real family is the one that raised her in Canada: Bibi, Maasi, Jeevan, and her mother. She views the grandmother as a stranger who abandoned her mother because of Sahaara herself. Bringing that person into their home feels like a betrayal of the family that has always been there for her.

2. What does the conversation about “home” reveal about Mom’s state of mind?

Mom feels that Punjab was truly home, but that home was stolen from her when she was forced to leave to escape danger. Now in Canada, she still yearns for that sense of safety and belonging. Her plan to sponsor her mother suggests she hopes to rebuild a piece of that lost home, even though it comes with emotional risk.

3. Why does Sahaara regret using the word “abandoned”?

Sahaara realizes the word is hurtful and unfair to her mother. While she feels anger toward the grandmother, she does not want to cause her mother more pain. Her immediate regret shows her love for her mother and her ability to reflect on her own actions, even in the heat of the moment.


Navigation