If I Tell You the Truth: Questions and Answers
Jasmin Kaur’s If I Tell You the Truth weaves poetry and prose to tell the story of Kiran Kaur and her daughter Sahaara as they navigate secrets, trauma, and the fight for justice. Below are 15 evidence-anchored questions that explore character decisions, symbols, and turning points. Each answer draws on specific chapter content and invites deeper understanding of the novel’s themes.
Questions and Answers
1. Why does Kiran hide her pregnancy from Chachi after arriving in Canada?
Answer: Kiran conceals her pregnancy because she fears her aunt’s reaction and the cultural shame it would bring. She uses a black shawl to hide her growing belly and forces herself to appear composed during breakfast, even as morning sickness and terror threaten to overwhelm her.
In Chapter 9, Kiran retrieves the shawl from her suitcase and reminds herself to “put on a show” for Chachi. The secret pregnancy isolates her, creating a barrier between her and the only maternal figure present in Canada. This silence foreshadows the larger pattern of secrecy that defines her early years as an immigrant mother.
2. What does the “freshie” label reveal about Kiran’s sense of belonging?
Answer: When Punjabi girls dismiss Kiran as a “freshie” at SFU orientation, she feels exposed as an outsider. Joti explains the term is used to mock new immigrants, and Kiran realizes that even within her own ethnic community, she is judged for being recently arrived.
In Chapter 12, Joti defends Kiran and later shares that she immigrated from Jalandhar six years prior. The encounter forces Kiran to confront the gap between her internal identity and how others perceive her. The shame of being labeled “freshie” contrasts with the complexity Joti later reveals—that no single label captures anyone fully.
3. How does Joti’s coming out parallel Kiran’s secrecy about pregnancy?
Answer: In Funland, Joti tells Kiran she is gay and hasn’t come out to her mother yet. Kiran envies Joti’s openness, even as she herself hides her pregnancy. Both women carry secrets they fear will be rejected, but Joti’s willingness to share creates a foundation of trust.
Chapter 13 shows Joti advising Kiran that if family loves you, they will eventually accept you. Kiran, however, cannot bring herself to reveal her pregnancy, highlighting the difference between chosen vulnerability and imposed silence. Joti’s courage plants a seed for Kiran’s later confessions.
4. Why does Kiran’s mother blame her for the pregnancy?
Answer: When Kiran reveals she is pregnant, her mother immediately blames her for being alone with Prabh, insisting a man cannot be trusted even if engaged. She refuses to entertain Kiran’s hints of coercion, instead focusing on family honor.
In Chapter 6, the narrator tries to explain but cannot speak the full truth. Her mother’s response is shaped by patriarchal expectations: a daughter’s purity reflects on the family. This betrayal sets the stage for Kiran’s long silence about the rape by Prabh’s brother, revealed much later in Chapter 103.
5. What does the spilled milk in Chapter 24 symbolize?
Answer: The spilled milk represents the exposure of a family secret. When Chachi whispers “maternity,” the mother’s suspicions are confirmed, and the milk jug crashes to the floor. The domestic setting heightens the tension: a household’s stability literally breaks.
Chapter 24 uses the image of milk—a nourishing, white substance—turning into a shattered mess to mirror the contamination of trust. The accident occurs just as Chachi’s hidden knowledge is revealed, linking physical spillage to emotional rupture.
6. How does the ultimatum from Kiran’s mother force a life-altering choice?
Answer: Her mother tells Kiran that if she keeps the baby, she will have no place in their home. Faced with losing family support, Kiran chooses to leave with Joti instead. This decision marks her first act of autonomous defiance.
Chapter 25 shows Kiran lying awake as her mother sleeps, realizing the choice is not about the baby alone but about claiming her own life. The ultimatum severs the last thread of reliance on her biological family and drives her toward a chosen family with Joti and Aunty Jee.
7. Why does Kiran wait until Sahaara is eighteen to tell her the truth about her conception?
Answer: Kiran protects Sahaara from the knowledge that she was conceived through rape by Hari Ahluwalia. She fears the label “child of rape” will wound her daughter’s identity. Only when the threat of deportation and Ahluwalia’s political rise make silence impossible does she reveal the truth.
In Chapter 103, Kiran calls a family meeting and confesses. Sahaara reacts with rage and a desire for justice. Kiran’s long concealment reflects the novel’s theme of intergenerational protection—parents often hide trauma to spare their children, but the secrecy can itself become a burden.
8. What role does the poem “if i tell you the truth” (Chapter 102) play in the narrative?
Answer: This short poem encapsulates the core tension of the book: will the listener believe the truth and still love the speaker? It appears just before Kiran’s confession to the immigration officers, serving as a threshold between silence and revelation.
Chapter 102 presents the truth as something dug from “shrapnel-filled dirt” with “aching, bloody hands.” The unanswered questions leave the reader in suspense, mirroring Kiran’s own fear. The poem connects to the earlier truth-and-activism theme, showing that speaking out is a painful but necessary act.
9. How does the gurdwara scene reflect Sahaara’s struggle with identity?
Answer: Sahaara sits at the back of the gurdwara, behind her shawl, questioning whether she is worthy of love. She describes her body as a “cold betrayal” and her DNA as a “nightmare,” linking her physical features to her rapist father.
In Chapter 120, she performs rituals—washing hands, bowing—but feels disconnected. She prays for “another life” and for her mother’s peace, yet cannot find her own. The scene echoes Chapter 108, where she studies her father’s features in the mirror. The gurdwara, meant to be a sanctuary, becomes a place where she confronts her deepest shame.
10. Why does Sahaara post on Instagram after her mother’s arrest?
Answer: Desperate and unable to reach a lawyer, Sahaara posts a black image revealing her mother is undocumented and detained. She breaks years of silence by mobilizing community support online, hoping someone can help.
Chapter 98 shows Sahaara taking a huge risk: exposing the family’s secret to strangers. The post connects her to Marisol and Valeria from All Humans Are Legal, demonstrating the power of public testimony. This act presages Kiran’s later televised interview and the broader theme of using voice as a weapon against injustice.
11. What does the folding knife Jeevan gives Sahaara symbolize?
Answer: The knife represents protection and the trust between friends. Jeevan gives it to Sahaara for the Mumbai trip, warning her of dangers. Sahaara carries it as a “promise,” even when their friendship becomes strained after their kiss.
In Chapter 130, Jeevan insists she take it; in Chapter 158, Sahaara enters the news network with the knife hidden under her blazer, feeling its weight as a connection to Jeevan. The knife also foreshadows Sahaara’s near-use of it (Chapter 175), underscoring her inner turmoil between violence and restraint.
12. How does the Mumbai trip force Kiran to confront her past?
Answer: Returning to India—the site of her trauma—compels Kiran to face Hari Ahluwalia and her estranged mother Hardeep. She transitions from a state of fear to readiness, telling Sahaara she can now look her attacker in the eye.
Chapter 133 frames the trip as entering “the mouth of a dragon” to avoid regret. In Chapter 168, Kiran reveals she has moved through panic and anger to a calm determination. The journey allows her to break the cycle of running and to finally speak her truth on national television.
13. What is the significance of Sahaara’s art project “If I Tell You the Truth”?
Answer: The mixed-media mural at the spring art show features South Asian women singing bolis as a statement of liberation from sexual abuse. Sahaara uses the same title as the novel, tying her personal healing to a collective act of resistance.
Chapter 179 describes the painting: it incorporates faces of women from the shelter and butterflies symbolizing anxiety and migration. Sahaara recites a poem instead of a prepared speech, freeing herself from the monster that calls her name. The project transforms private pain into public art, fulfilling the intergenerational healing theme.
14. How does Hardeep’s public denial affect Kiran?
Answer: Hardeep appears on television calling Kiran’s allegations “baseless” and suggesting mental health delusions. Kiran is stunned and betrayed—her own mother, whom she hoped would support her, instead sides with the abuser. The denial deepens Kiran’s sense of abandonment.
In Chapter 164, Kiran later learns Hardeep was coerced by Ahluwalia’s family, but the damage is done. The scene contrasts with the mother-daughter bond Kiran has built with Sahaara, highlighting how fractured relationships can be mended through honesty—unlike Hardeep’s complicity.
15. Why does the novel end with the poem “to be read aloud”?
Answer: The final poem declares that the speaker’s heart, her mother’s bravery, and her own body are each a “boli”—a defiant folk song that cannot be silenced. It crystallizes the novel’s message that truth-telling is an act of resistance passed through generations.
Chapter 180 uses the metaphor of a boli to claim unbreakable strength. Even if one speaker falters, other women carry on the song. This ending shifts from individual pain to collective power, affirming that the truth—once told—cannot be undone. It resonates with the novel’s title theme and offers a note of hope after years of silence.