Natalie Ramirez in She Gets the Girl: Character Analysis
Overview
Natalie Ramirez is Alex's girlfriend at the start of She Gets the Girl. She is a guitarist and vocalist in the band the Cereal Killers, performing at the Tilted Rabbit, where Alex works as a bartender. Natalie is confident and magnetic on stage—the opening chapter describes how every person in the room watches her—but her relationship with Alex is marked by deep insecurity and distrust. She becomes the catalyst for Alex's journey of self-improvement, as her ultimatum forces Alex to confront her own emotional walls and, ultimately, to recognize that the relationship itself is unhealthy.
Plot Role
Natalie's role is primarily to set the plot in motion and to serve as a foil to Molly. In the opening chapter, her confrontation with Alex on the night before Alex leaves for college establishes the central conflict: Alex cannot say “I love you,” and Natalie accuses her of never being fully committed. This fight leads Alex to resolve to change, and Natalie's later phone call gives her a concrete goal: prove she can be trustworthy by the time Natalie visits Pittsburgh on September 30th. That deadline drives Alex to hatch the plan to help Molly get Cora, which becomes the main narrative. Natalie's presence looms over Alex's actions throughout the middle of the book, as Alex tries to balance her promise to Natalie with her growing feelings for Molly. In chapter 31, Natalie's visit forces the climax of this subplot: Alex realizes that Natalie never truly wanted her to open up, only to control her, and she ends the relationship. This breakup clears the way for Alex to pursue Molly.
Motivations and Traits
Natalie's primary motivation is to feel secure in her relationship with Alex. She has been hurt by Alex's past behavior—the flirting, the ghosting, the dates with other people—and she demands proof that Alex can change. She is also proud and quick to use emotional jabs as a defense mechanism. In chapter 1, she tells Alex she will “end up just like your mom,” a cruel reference to Alex's mother's alcoholism, knowing it is Alex's deepest fear. This shows that Natalie is willing to strike below the belt when she feels cornered.
Later, in chapter 31, when Alex tries to talk about her feelings, Natalie dismisses her, saying “opening up is never going to be your thing.” She also refuses to listen to Alex's attempts to discuss her mother or Molly. Alex interprets this as Natalie wanting control rather than genuine connection. The text supports this: Natalie's actions throughout the relationship—demanding Alex say “I love you,” monitoring her phone calls, and using guilt—suggest a need for power rather than mutual trust.
Natalie is also a dedicated musician. She is passionate about her band, and her tour is a source of pride. However, her career also creates distance, as she is often unavailable and dismissive of Alex's attempts to connect, as seen in chapter 19 when she brushes off Alex's call because she has a gig.
Chronological Arc
Natalie's arc is relatively static; she does not undergo significant change, but her role in Alex's story evolves. In the opening chapter, she is vulnerable and hopeful, saying “I love you” and asking Alex to be real with her. When Alex fails to reciprocate, Natalie's hurt turns to anger, and she delivers the devastating accusation about Alex's mother. This is the low point of their relationship.
In chapter 3, Natalie is still angry but willing to give Alex a chance. She says she loves Alex but doesn't trust her, and she sets the September 30th deadline. She also reveals that she knows about Alex calling Megan, showing that she is monitoring Alex's actions.
Over the next several chapters, Natalie is mostly absent, but her influence is felt through Alex's thoughts and phone calls. In chapter 19, Natalie is distant and dismissive, asking if Alex has a new girlfriend and cutting the call short. She does, however, reveal that she wrote the song “Sleepy Girl” for Alex, a tender moment that suggests she still cares.
In chapter 29, Alex reflects on Natalie and decides she wants to make it work, but by chapter 31, when Natalie visits, the dynamic has shifted. Natalie is eager to be intimate, but Alex wants to talk. Natalie's refusal to engage with Alex's feelings—and her mocking comment about Alex's inability to open up—triggers Alex's realization that the relationship is not healthy. Alex breaks up with her, and Natalie's final reaction is one of disbelief and anger, as she tries to guilt Alex into staying by saying “no one knows you like I know you.” But Alex stands firm, and Natalie leaves.
Relationships
Natalie's relationship with Alex is the core of her character. It is defined by a cycle of distrust, emotional manipulation, and missed connections. Natalie knows Alex's vulnerabilities—her mother's alcoholism, her fear of abandonment—and she uses them as weapons when she feels threatened. At the same time, she is the only person who has gotten close enough to Alex to know these things, which makes her both intimate and dangerous.
Natalie's relationship with her bandmates is professional and collaborative; she is the frontwoman, and they support her. She also has a connection to Alex's mother, having witnessed her passed out on the porch, which she uses against Alex in chapter 1.
Natalie's indirect relationship with Molly is important. She is the reason Alex is helping Molly in the first place, and she becomes the obstacle that Alex must overcome to be with Molly. In chapter 31, Natalie correctly guesses that Molly is the reason Alex wants to break up, but Alex insists it is about Natalie's treatment of her.
Key Decisions and Consequences
Natalie's key decisions include giving Alex a chance by visiting Pittsburgh, and then, when Alex tries to talk, dismissing her feelings. The first decision creates the opportunity for Alex to prove herself, but it also sets up the final confrontation. The second decision—refusing to listen—is what ultimately ends the relationship. Alex realizes that Natalie never wanted her to open up; she only wanted control. This realization is a turning point for Alex, allowing her to move on and pursue a genuine connection with Molly.
Natalie's decision to use Alex's mother's alcoholism as a weapon in chapter 1 also has consequences: it deepens Alex's fear and motivates her to change, but it also plants a seed of resentment that grows throughout the book.
Themes and Symbols
Natalie embodies several themes. She is a symbol of the fear of commitment and emotional walls—her own walls are just as high as Alex's, though she expresses them through control rather than avoidance. Her relationship with Alex illustrates the theme of infatuation versus genuine love: Alex initially believes she loves Natalie, but she later realizes that what she felt was not real, because Natalie never allowed her to be vulnerable. Natalie also connects to the theme of parental alcoholism and its intergenerational impact, as she uses Alex's mother's addiction as a tool of manipulation, highlighting how that trauma can be exploited. Finally, Natalie's demand for proof of change ties into the theme of self-improvement as a means of proving worth, though Alex ultimately learns that she must change for herself, not for someone else.
Questions and Answers
1. Why does Natalie distrust Alex so deeply?
Natalie's distrust stems from Alex's past behavior: Alex went on dates with other people early in their relationship, ghosted Natalie for two weeks after Natalie discovered her mother's alcoholism, and continued to flirt with others. Natalie also sees Alex's inability to say “I love you” as a sign that Alex is not fully committed.
2. What does Natalie's comment about Alex's mother reveal about her character?
When Natalie tells Alex she will “end up just like your mom,” she reveals that she is willing to use Alex's deepest fear—becoming like her alcoholic mother—as a weapon in an argument. This shows that Natalie is emotionally manipulative and willing to hurt Alex to win a fight.
3. How does Natalie's behavior in chapter 31 contrast with her earlier demands?
Earlier, Natalie demanded that Alex be honest and open up about her feelings. In chapter 31, when Alex tries to do exactly that, Natalie dismisses her, saying “opening up is never going to be your thing” and refusing to listen. This contrast reveals that Natalie's demand for openness was not genuine; she wanted control, not connection.
4. What role does Natalie play in Alex's decision to help Molly?
Natalie's ultimatum—that Alex must prove she can change by September 30th—creates the pressure that leads Alex to hatch the plan to help Molly get Cora. Alex believes that if she can successfully help Molly, it will demonstrate to Natalie that she can have platonic friendships and be trustworthy.
5. Why does Alex ultimately break up with Natalie?
Alex breaks up with Natalie because she realizes that Natalie never truly wanted her to open up; she only wanted to control her. Alex recognizes that the relationship is built on fighting, lack of trust, and manipulation, and she decides she wants to be with someone she feels comfortable sharing herself with—someone like Molly.
For a deeper look at how Natalie's actions shape the ending, see the ending explained page, or explore more questions and answers.