Chapter 21: Alex — Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

The chapter opens with Alex, Molly, and Beth navigating a crowded food court. Alex spots Bulgogi Boyz, a Korean restaurant she discovered through Natalie over the summer, and eagerly leads the group there. Molly hesitates, glancing nervously at her mother, but insists she wants to try it. When the counter worker asks Beth in Korean if she needs help, Beth responds dismissively, waving her hand and saying she doesn't speak that language, then walks off to get a burger instead. Molly is visibly mortified, her cheeks reddening as she fumbles with her wallet and drops it. Alex pays for Molly's food and tries to lighten the mood.

During the meal, Beth chatters on about her pharmacy job, oblivious to the tension, while Molly stays quiet and barely touches her food. After Beth drops them back at campus, Molly invites Alex up to her dorm room. There, Molly finally opens up about her mother's complicated relationship with her Korean heritage. She explains that Beth was adopted from South Korea and grew up in a white family in a small town where she faced severe racism—being called racial slurs, pushed into thornbushes, and even shot with a BB gun. Molly admits that while she hasn't experienced anything that extreme, she still sometimes feels ashamed of being Korean, and that even liking bulgogi feels like an invitation for others to see her as Korean, which still feels like a bad thing.

In an attempt to relate, Alex casually mentions her own mom's embarrassing moments, revealing that her mother has been thrown out of Applebee's for blacking out on Dollarita margaritas. The moment the words leave her mouth, Alex realizes she's shared something deeply private. Molly's serious expression makes Alex feel exposed and vulnerable. She abruptly makes an excuse about homework and flees, biking the long way home to process what happened.

Back at her apartment, Alex reflects on the fact that she's never told anyone about her mom's alcoholism—not even Natalie, who found out by accident. Feeling guilty for opening up to Molly instead of Natalie, Alex calls Natalie to try to talk about their relationship. Natalie is suspicious and cold, telling Alex it's too late and that she's given her too many chances. She hangs up, leaving Alex desperate to prove she's changed before Natalie arrives in Pittsburgh in nineteen days.

The chapter ends with Alex's mom FaceTiming her, clearly drunk, asking for money. For the first time in her life, Alex refuses and hangs up on her, tears falling as the screen goes black.

Key Events

Alex leads Molly and Beth to Bulgogi Boyz at the food court.
Beth dismissively rejects the Korean counter worker's offer of help in Korean, mortifying Molly.
Alex pays for Molly's food after Molly drops her wallet.
In Molly's dorm, Molly reveals her mom was adopted from South Korea and faced severe racism growing up.
Molly admits she sometimes feels ashamed of her Korean identity.
Alex accidentally reveals her mom's alcoholism, then flees the conversation.
Alex calls Natalie to talk about their relationship; Natalie says it's too late and hangs up.
Alex's mom FaceTimes asking for money; Alex refuses and hangs up on her for the first time.

Character Development

Alex undergoes significant emotional growth in this chapter. She accidentally reveals a deeply guarded secret about her mother's alcoholism, something she's never voluntarily shared with anyone. Her immediate reaction is to flee, highlighting her fear of vulnerability and her habit of hiding behind secrets. However, the chapter ends with a powerful shift: she sets a firm boundary with her mom, refusing to give money and hanging up for the first time. This marks a turning point in Alex's relationship with her mother and her own self-worth.

Molly shows courage by opening up about her complicated feelings toward her Korean heritage. She articulates the shame she's internalized from her mother's experiences and her own struggles with being seen as different. Her admission that she sometimes doesn't want to like bulgogi because it would make her Korean identity visible is a raw, honest moment that deepens her character.

Beth is portrayed as oblivious and dismissive, both at the food court and later when she acts like nothing happened. Her behavior illustrates the generational trauma she carries, though she seems unaware of how her actions affect Molly.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Cultural Identity and Shame: Molly's struggle with her Korean identity is central. The bulgogi becomes a symbol of her conflicted feelings—she loves the food but fears what liking it might reveal about her.

Generational Trauma: Beth's childhood experiences of racism have shaped her negative view of her heritage, and that shame has been passed down to Molly, who admits she's trying to shake it.

Parental Alcoholism: Alex's mom's drinking is revealed as a long-standing issue, worsened after her father left. Alex's fear of becoming like her mother is a driving force behind her secrecy.

Vulnerability and Fear of Opening Up: Alex's immediate flight after sharing her secret shows how terrified she is of being seen as weak or pitied.

Food as Cultural Connection: The bulgogi represents both connection to heritage and the discomfort that comes with it. Alex's offer of her leftovers to Molly is a small act of care.

Setting Boundaries: Alex's decision to hang up on her mom is a significant act of self-protection, breaking a pattern of always giving in.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter is a turning point for both Alex and Molly. It's the first time either character truly opens up about the shame and pain they carry—Molly about her heritage, Alex about her mother's alcoholism. The parallel between their struggles creates a deep bond between them, even as Alex's fear of vulnerability causes her to pull away.

The chapter also sets up the emotional stakes for Alex's relationship with Natalie. Alex's attempt to reach out is rejected, and she's left hoping to prove she's changed before Natalie arrives. Meanwhile, her decision to hang up on her mom signals a new willingness to protect herself, even if it hurts.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Molly hesitate when Alex suggests getting Bulgogi Boyz, and what does her hesitation reveal about her character?

Molly hesitates because she knows her mother will react negatively to Korean food, and she's anxious about how Beth will behave. Her hesitation reveals the deep tension she feels between wanting to embrace her heritage and the shame her mother has instilled in her. When she insists she wants to try it anyway, it shows a small act of defiance against that shame.

2. What does Alex's reaction to accidentally revealing her mom's alcoholism tell us about her?

Alex immediately feels exposed and vulnerable, describing herself as a gaping wound. She flees the conversation, makes an excuse about homework, and bikes the long way home to process her emotions. This reaction shows how deeply she fears being seen as weak or pitied, and how she's used secrecy as a defense mechanism—even with Natalie, who only found out about her mom's drinking by accident.

3. Why is Alex's decision to hang up on her mom significant?

It's the first time Alex has ever hung up on her mother. Throughout the chapter, Alex has been grappling with feelings of guilt and vulnerability, but this moment marks a shift. By refusing to give money and ending the call, Alex sets a boundary and prioritizes her own emotional well-being over her mother's demands. It's a small but powerful act of self-protection that signals growth.