Chapter 5: Alex — Summary and Study Guide
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Spoiler notice: This page discusses the full contents of Chapter 5, including Alex's actions and internal reflections.
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Otherwise, continue to the summary below.
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Summary
Alex begins the chapter lying in her new apartment, frustrated that her phone's data speeds have been reduced, preventing her from loading the Cereal Killers Instagram post. She wants to ask her roommate Heather for the Wi-Fi password, but Heather has been giving her the cold shoulder since the previous day's incident with Jackson. Alex recalls that Heather made a show of turning off the TV and storming into her room when Alex returned from a Target run.
Alex sends a check-in text to her mom, who hasn't replied to her morning message. She considers calling her neighbor Tonya, who had agreed to check on her mom twice a week, but decides not to bother her. Lying in the empty room, Alex feels overwhelmed—the silence and stillness remind her of her old house in Philadelphia, where she would wait for her mom to come home, worrying about where she was, how much she was drinking, and how much money she was spending. She remembers getting a job at Tilted Rabbit three summers ago, after the electricity was shut off, and convincing the owner, Stew, to let her do dishes until she was old enough to work behind the bar. Now that she's left, she worries about what her mom will do.
The pressure of her situation—the unresolved issues with Natalie, the start of college, and her mom's instability—becomes suffocating. Alex jumps up, grabs her wallet, and leaves the apartment, jogging down the stairs and feeling the weight lift as she goes outside. She walks through the city, observing students heading to parties, and realizes she has no destination. She reflects on her past in Philadelphia, where she would end up at Natalie's concerts, work shifts at Tilted Rabbit, or flirt her way into clubs. After she and Natalie started dating, she avoided flirting to keep Natalie from getting upset. Now, even though she's in a new city, she's trying to stay faithful to her promise to Natalie, but she feels like a