Wally Mitler in Misfit: Character Analysis of Gary's Childhood Best Friend

Overview

Wally Mitler is the childhood best friend of Gary Gulman in Misfit, a memoir that traces Gary's early years in 1970s Massachusetts. Wally lives across the street, is about a year older than Gary, and is described as a "foul-mouthed lout" with a talent for vandalism, theft, and disrespect for authority. He is a neighborhood pariah—most mothers forbid their kids from playing with him—which leaves him needing a friend, and Gary, drawn to underdogs, fills that role. Their friendship is intense, uneven, and ultimately short-lived, dissolving during second grade after Wally's diagnosis and recovery from Hodgkin's disease. Wally functions as both a mirror and a foil for Gary: he exposes Gary to fear, antisemitism, and cruelty, yet also shows moments of vulnerability that make Gary feel needed. His arc in the memoir is compact but pivotal, shaping Gary's sense of self, his relationship to fear, and his early understanding of loss.

Plot Role

Wally first appears in the chapter "First" (first grade) when Gary's father honks at a slow station wagon and the boy in the back—Wally—flips the finger. Gary conceals that Wally is his best friend, and the incident becomes a secret that weighs on him. Later that same chapter, Wally walks Gary to his first day of first grade at West Memorial School, guiding him through the graffiti-soaked playground and the mile-long route. In "Second" (second grade), Wally's role expands. He reenacts horror films and the Holocaust miniseries, offers an antisemitic explanation for the Holocaust, and spells "sissy" in his carpet, deeply wounding Gary. The chapter then pivots to Wally's cancer diagnosis, his recovery, and his subsequent popularity, which accelerates the end of their friendship. Wally is not mentioned again in the outline after second grade, so his narrative presence is confined to these early years—yet his impact reverberates through Gary's later struggles with self-worth and belonging.

Motivations and Traits Shown Through Actions

Wally's motivations are not explicitly stated in the memoir, but his actions reveal a complex inner life. He is a year older than Gary, and his parents take a laissez-faire approach to his upbringing, allowing him to watch adult content and swear freely. He uses this freedom to dominate Gary: he hides behind cars and jumps out with a devil impression, he recaps the Holocaust with graphic detail, and he spells "sissy" in the carpet. These actions suggest a need for control and a desire to unsettle—perhaps because he himself is unsettled by the world he has been exposed to. Yet he also shows a softer side. When he wrongs Gary, he apologizes by asking plaintively, "Be my friend?"—a phrase that Gary finds heartbreaking and that reveals Wally's genuine need for connection. He is a pariah, so he needs Gary, and he seems to understand the value of friendship even as he abuses it.

Wally's traits—fearlessness, rebelliousness, insensitivity, and occasional vulnerability—are shown through his actions. He throws asphalt at abandoned buildings, breaks things, and swears with fluency. He is not afraid of consequences, as evidenced by his casual defiance of his father's authority. But his vulnerability emerges in his hospital visit, where Gary observes that Wally "was remarkably strong" and never complained despite an IV in his hand. This stoicism contrasts with Gary's own fear and suggests that Wally, for all his bravado, can endure pain without theatrics. The memoir does not offer a psychological diagnosis of Wally; instead, it presents him as a product of his environment—a boy who has been given too much freedom and too little guidance, and who uses that freedom to test boundaries, including Gary's.

Chronological Arc

Wally's arc in the memoir follows a clear trajectory from intense friendship to gradual estrangement. In first grade, he is Gary's constant companion, walking him to school and serving as his guide to the neighborhood. The finger incident in the car establishes Wally's rebellious nature and Gary's secret shame about their friendship. In second grade, the friendship begins to fade. Gary notes that they no longer walk to school together and rarely hang out after school. Wally becomes more of an antagonist, sharing disturbing content and eventually spelling "sissy" in the carpet. The turning point comes when Gary's mother notices a lump on Wally's neck during a trip to Scituate. Wally is diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease, undergoes radiation, and recovers. The outpouring of affection from the neighborhood makes him a star, and Gary loses him to the community. Wally's popularity shrinks along with his tumor, but a new kid moves in down the street who shares Wally's interest in minibikes and go-karts, and Wally gravitates toward him. Gary tries to cling to the friendship, even asking about the go-kart's fuel, but is ignored. He stops going over to Wally's house, and the friendship ends. The memoir does not revisit Wally after this point, leaving his arc unresolved but complete within the context of Gary's childhood.

Relationships

Wally's relationship with Gary is the central one in his arc. It is built on mutual need: Gary is drawn to underdogs, and Wally needs a friend because he is a pariah. But the dynamic is unequal. Wally dominates, using fear and cruelty to maintain control, while Gary appeases him, often feeling ashamed of his own passivity. The relationship is also shaped by their families. Gary's mother admires Wally's mother, Sharon, for her intelligence and directness, which may explain why she allows the friendship despite Wally's reputation. Wally's parents are permissive, and his sister Kris is a "wild child" who grows marijuana and once had a boyfriend shoot at the house. These details paint a picture of a chaotic household that contrasts with Gary's more protective home. Wally's relationship with other kids is initially one of exclusion—most mothers forbid their children from playing with him—but after his cancer diagnosis, he becomes the center of attention. Kids who previously avoided him now clamor for his favor, and Gary resents this. The new kid with the minibikes represents the final replacement, as Wally finds a friend whose interests align more closely with his own.

Key Decisions and Consequences

Wally makes several key decisions that have lasting consequences for his friendship with Gary. First, he chooses to share disturbing content—the devil impression, the Holocaust recap, the antisemitic explanation—which Gary experiences as abusive. The Holocaust explanation, in particular, is a turning point: Gary is horrified and feels he should have defended his people, but he stays silent. This decision deepens Gary's self-loathing and his sense of being a coward. Second, Wally spells "sissy" in the carpet, which Gary reads as a rejection of his sensitivity and his closeness to his mother. This moment crystallizes Gary's fear that he is not masculine enough, a fear that persists into adulthood. Third, after his cancer diagnosis, Wally accepts the community's attention and allows it to redefine his social status. He does not actively reject Gary, but he drifts toward the new kid, effectively ending the friendship. The consequence is that Gary loses his only friend, and he is left with a sense of abandonment that he later connects to his lifelong struggles with self-worth and belonging.

Theme and Symbol Connections

Wally's character connects to several themes in the memoir. The epigraph from Fred Rogers, which frames the book as a lifelong reworking of childhood material, is directly relevant: Wally is part of the material Gary reworks. The fear Wally instills—of the devil, of the Holocaust, of being called a sissy—becomes a recurring thread in Gary's adult life, influencing his anxiety and his sense of identity. Wally also embodies the theme of external validation versus internal self-worth. After his cancer, he gains popularity not through his own actions but through the sympathy of others, and Gary observes that this popularity is hollow. This mirrors Gary's own later pursuit of validation through comedy and performance. Wally's antisemitic explanation, which Gary believes must have come from an adult, highlights the theme of being a misfit and the experience of otherness. Gary, as a Jewish boy in a predominantly non-Jewish neighborhood, is confronted with hatred that he cannot reconcile with his own sense of self. Finally, Wally's role as a source of fear and discomfort connects to the theme of comedy as a coping mechanism: Gary's later career as a comedian can be seen as a way to reclaim power over the unsettling material Wally introduced.

Five Book-Specific Questions and Answers

1. Why did Wally give Gary's father the finger in the car?

Wally flipped the finger in response to Gary's father honking at the slow station wagon. The memoir does not explain Wally's reasoning, but it presents the act as characteristic of his rebellious nature. Gary is mortified because he knows Wally is his best friend, and he conceals the friendship from his father.

2. What was Wally's explanation for the Holocaust, and why did it affect Gary so deeply?

Wally told Gary that the Jews were "rich snobs" who walked around "with their noses in the air," offering this as a justification for the Holocaust. Gary was horrified because he had asked out of genuine curiosity, and the answer revealed that Wally—or an adult in his life—held antisemitic views. Gary felt he should have defended his people but stayed silent, which deepened his self-loathing.

3. How did Wally's cancer diagnosis change their friendship?

After Wally was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease and recovered, the neighborhood's outpouring of affection made him a star. Kids who had previously avoided him now clamored for his favor, and Gary had to share him with the community. The friendship, already strained, could not survive this shift, and Wally eventually drifted toward a new friend who shared his interest in minibikes.

4. What did Wally spell in the carpet, and what was its significance?

Wally spelled "sissy" in his new burgundy plush carpet while they watched a TV movie. Gary immediately understood the implication and felt his mouth go dry. The word confirmed Gary's fear that his sensitivity, his closeness to his mother, and his love of stuffed animals made him unmanly. It was a rejection that Gary internalized and carried into adulthood.

5. Why did Gary visit Wally in the hospital, and what did he observe?

Gary was the only kid who visited Wally in the hospital during his treatments. He brought Mr. Sketch scented markers and a carrot cake. He observed that Wally was "remarkably strong" and never complained despite having an IV in his hand. This visit showed Gary's loyalty, but it also marked the beginning of the end, as Wally's popularity and the new friend would soon replace him.

Conclusion

Wally Mitler is a vivid and troubling figure in Misfit—a boy who introduces Gary to fear, hatred, and the fragility of friendship. His arc from inseparable companion to distant acquaintance mirrors Gary's own journey from childhood innocence to a more complicated understanding of the world. Wally's actions, while often cruel, are also a product of his environment, and his vulnerability in the hospital hints at a depth that Gary never fully accesses. In the end, Wally serves as a catalyst for Gary's lifelong reworking of childhood material, a reminder that the people who shape us are not always kind, and that loss—even of a difficult friend—leaves a mark. For readers, Wally offers a lens into the memoir's central themes of identity, validation, and the enduring power of early relationships. To explore these themes further, see the themes page or the ending explained. For more questions about the book, visit the Q&A section.