Misfit by Gary Gulman: Summary and Study Guide

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Quick Facts

| Field | Detail | | --- | --- | | Title | Misfit | | Author | Gary Gulman | | Genre | Comedy memoir | | Publication Year | 2023 | | Setting | Peabody, Massachusetts (Boston suburbs) | | Narrator | First-person | | Structure | 14 chapters, moving chronologically from kindergarten through high school, with flash-forwards to 2017–2023 |

Short Summary

Misfit is Gary Gulman's comedic and candid memoir of growing up in a working-class Jewish family in Peabody, Massachusetts, and of the lifelong struggle to reconcile childhood pain with adult identity. From kindergarten through high school, Gulman navigates academic retention, bullying, antisemitism, family divorce, and a relentless pursuit of external validation through sports and comedy. The narrative interweaves his adult battles with severe depression, hospitalization, and recovery, ultimately reframing his misfit identity as a source of humor, empathy, and connection. The book closes with advice to his younger self and to other misfits, urging them to embrace their quirks and hold on to the people who love them.

Full Summary

Misfit opens with an epigraph from Fred Rogers: “All our lives we rework the things from our childhood, like feeling good about ourselves, managing our angry feelings, being able to say goodbye to people we love.” This sets the memoir's central premise: that childhood experiences are not left behind but continually reshaped in adult life.

The narrative begins in kindergarten, where Gary waits for the bus under an elm tree, breaks a classmate's lunch box handle out of jealousy, and discovers he is Jewish while spinning a dreidel. He learns to read with The Monster at the End of This Book and falsely claims he can speak French during show-and-tell. The chapter flashes forward to 2017, when a depressed Gary walks his dogs to the same park, unchanged since childhood.

In first grade, Gary's father takes him and his brother to pancake houses and tells stories about his own upbringing. Gary conceals his friendship with Wally Mitler, who lives across the street, because his father has a confrontation with Wally's family. He is placed in the middle reading group but later moves to the highest group. The chapter ends with Gary finding an old teacher's note praising his work.

The second chapter, “Second First,” details Gary's academic retention: at age seven, he learns he is repeating first grade. His father and brother frame it as an advantage, and his father tells him to fight anyone who teases him. His new teacher, Mrs. Rand, is cold and sarcastic, humiliating him over his handwriting. When he loses a Dr. Seuss library book, Rand holds a class vote on whether he may leave early; the class votes against him. He fakes illness to skip school but is caught. His father confronts Rand, and the year ends with good grades. The flash-forward shows Gary, recovering from a psych ward stay, visiting the Northshore Mall.

In second grade, Gary's friendship with Wally fades. Wally shares disturbing details from horror films and the Holocaust miniseries, offering an antisemitic explanation. Gary's mother takes a part-time job at Murray's in the Northshore Shopping Center, and Gary spends afternoons there, befriending mall employees and staging a balloon heist. Wally is later diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease, undergoes radiation, and recovers, but he becomes popular and drifts away. In 2017, Gary visits Joanie, feels deeply depressed, and breaks down in tears.

Third grade brings Hebrew school, which Gary protests. He learns Hebrew, takes the name Leibel, and cheats on a Genesis test. His brother Rick returns home after college, and Gary sleeps on a foam pad between his brothers' beds. Uncle Norman gives him a fish tank; Rick buys tropical fish. When the fish die from overheated water, Gary feels guilty. Joanie's joke about the fish fry makes him laugh, highlighting humor as a coping mechanism. In 2017, Gary tells neighbor Finn Burns the truth about his anxiety, and Finn responds with empathy.

The summer before fourth grade, Gary helps his mother's friend Inga spy on her lover Don, who dies weeks later. He attends Camp Simchah, a Jewish day camp, where he struggles at sports and loses a sandcastle contest. His brother Rick teaches him insult-based humor, which he tries on classmates with poor results. Finn Burns sparks his love of basketball in November, and his teacher Mr. Mercier introduces the sport in extra gym class. After a conduct warning for insensitive remarks, Gary resolves to pursue basketball seriously.

In fifth grade, Gary learns his fourth-grade teacher has left. He befriends Billy Marmion, who shares his passion for baseball cards. They trick-or-treat together, and Billy reveals his stepfather is not his biological father. In January, Bobby Swan threatens to fight Gary, who stalls for weeks. After February vacation, Gary agrees to the fight and is headbutted below the eye; he cries, and the fight ends. In March, Danny Booth taunts Gary with antisemitic insults; Gary shoves him down a ravine and subdues him with a headlock. Gary skips the last day of fifth grade, and his teacher hand-delivers his report card. In 2017, Gary drives to Symphony Park for cell service and imagines returning to October 22, 1983.

Sixth and seventh grades bring new challenges. Gary plays Little League and observes seventh graders' dating culture. He learns about “the bases” from a boy named Otto. At an April school dance, he feels left out. On October 22, 1983, he attends Andy Freedman's bar mitzvah, meets Chris Damone, plays basketball at Symphony Park, and meets Lori Kremer at the evening pool party. That winter, his grandfather Morris Gulman dies. Chris later ends their friendship. The chapter concludes in 2017, when Gary resolves a dispute over $40,000 in unpaid electroconvulsive therapy bills.

Eighth and ninth grades focus on basketball and survival. Gary practices all summer and enters Higgins Junior High, a large school with a violent reputation. He makes the freshman team in late November and plays on five teams that year. He fears a bully named Nunzio, who confronts him in April but lets him go. He finishes ninth grade with straight A's and celebrates with his mother. The chapter ends in 2017, when he looks at a varsity basketball team photo from tenth grade.

Tenth grade marks the last year Gary spends most of his free time with his parents. He discovers his nose is hooked when he sees his profile in mirrors. An upperclassman mocks his mustache, prompting him to move to a table with Jewish Community Center basketball friends. He makes varsity basketball but is benched after an offensive foul. After the season, he turns to comedy, recording original bits on a boom box. In German class, he makes classmates laugh with a Cheers-themed routine. Through a friend, he arranges a group movie outing with Kristel Holland, then calls and leaves a message. She returns the call, and they meet at a park, where she invites him swimming. A flash-forward shows Gary recovering from illness and using the Lynnfield Public Library for audiobooks.

Eleventh grade begins with Gary dating Kristel, a relationship that ends October 4, 1987. He avoids her afterward. Around Halloween, twin assistant football coaches, John and Joe Jetsyn, try to recruit him after seeing his dunking trick. He takes an honors English class with Mr. Story and reads extensively, connecting with The Great Gatsby. At Max's rehearsal dinner, he naps behind a couch. At the wedding, he walks his grandmother down the aisle without a date. He finishes the year with B's and C's. That spring, a friend drives a group to Nick's Comedy Stop in Boston, where Gary sees stand-up comedians and realizes another career would be a compromise. A flash-forward to 2018 shows his mother asking if he wants to keep his Peabody High School 1988 football jacket; he declines.

Twelfth grade centers on football. John Jetsyn recruits Gary to train at Universe Gym. He gains forty pounds and joins the football team despite panic. He plays in the final preseason game, makes tackles and a sack, and starts against Salem, earning newspaper coverage. In Quincy, he fumbles on the goal line and never plays offense again. The season ends on Thanksgiving; he weeps with relief. A Dartmouth coach recruits him, and after visits from many schools, he accepts a Boston College scholarship in February. He then fumbles his basketball career, fails physics, and withdraws from the class. A dating mishap ends awkwardly. He graduates without celebration, and his family goes to TGI Fridays without him at his request.

The final chapter, “New York City, 2023,” finds Gulman moving back in with Sadé on May 26, 2018, eleven months after locking their Queens storage unit. He is touring with material about his illness and recovery, and he and his manager have an idea for a documentary/comedy special. He reflects that his depression will have been in remission for six years when the book is published. He recalls Graduation Day 1989, when he drove to the gym to lift weights, and connects that to the Gatsby metaphor of chasing the green light. He then offers advice to his younger self and to misfits: get out of the boat, be yourself, don't worry about show-and-tell, try to get laughs, say “I'll figure it out,” and hold on to loved ones. He concludes that all the great laughs come from the minds of misfits.

Main Characters

• Gary Gulman – The author and protagonist, whose memoir traces his childhood, adolescence, and adult struggles with depression and mental health.

• Barbara Gulman – Gary's mother, who supports him through school, works at Sears, and remains a constant presence in his life.

• Phil Gulman – Gary's father, who is divorced from his mother, takes him to pancake houses, and gives advice about fighting.

• Rick Gulman – Gary's older brother, who teaches him insult humor and is a source of sibling dynamics.

• Wally Mitler – Gary's childhood best friend, who shares disturbing stories and later drifts away after recovering from Hodgkin's disease.

• Kristel Holland – Gary's first love in high school, with whom he has a brief relationship that ends in October 1987.

Themes

• The lifelong reworking of childhood material – The memoir illustrates how early experiences—from kindergarten through high school—are continually reworked in adult life, shaping emotional patterns and self-perception.

• The pursuit of external validation and the shift to internal self-worth – The narrative follows a relentless drive for achievement in academics, sports, and comedy as a search for external validation, which is later reframed as a need to find self-worth from within.

• Comedy as a coping mechanism and a calling – Humor functions as both a defense against pain and a path to identity, as the narrator uses comedy to navigate childhood difficulties and eventually discovers it as his true vocation.

• The experience of being a misfit and the embrace of that identity – The memoir explores the pain of feeling like an outsider throughout youth and ultimately redefines misfit identity as a source of humor, empathy, and connection.

• Mental health struggles and recovery – The book interweaves childhood anxieties and depressions with adult mental health crises and recovery, emphasizing the need for vigilance and the possibility of hope.

Symbols

• Basketball – The basketball court recurs as a sanctuary where Gulman seeks purpose, identity, and validation, from childhood games to high school and college recruitment.

• Shopping Mall – The shopping mall, particularly the Northshore Mall and Murray's, recurs as a refuge and a stage for observing class and social dynamics.

• Sneakers – Sneakers recur as cultural artifacts that signal identity, status, and belonging, from childhood to high school.

• Letterman Jacket – The letterman jacket recurs as a symbol of external validation and the weight of athletic identity, from high school to adulthood.

Ending Overview

The memoir's final chapter, “New York City, 2023,” brings the narrative to the present. Gulman describes moving back in with Sadé, touring with material about his illness, and reflecting on his six years of remission from depression. He revisits the Gatsby metaphor of the green light, recognizing that his lifelong pursuit of external achievements was a futile attempt to outrun melancholy. He then offers direct advice to his younger self and to other misfits: “Get out of the boat,” be yourself, don't worry about show-and-tell, try to get laughs, say “I'll figure it out,” and hold on to loved ones. The book ends on a note of hope and connection, asserting that all great laughs come from the minds of misfits.

Chapter-by-Chapter Overview

| Chapter | Title | Summary | | --- | --- | --- | | 1 | Epigraph | A Fred Rogers quote frames the memoir's theme of reworking childhood material. | | 2 | Kindergarten | Gary's first school experiences, including jealousy, learning to read, and discovering his Jewish identity. | | 3 | First | Gary's father's Sunday visits, first grade reading groups, and a Passover seder. | | 4 | Second First | Gary repeats first grade, faces a cruel teacher, and endures public humiliation. | | 5 | Second | Wally's illness, Gary's mother's job at Murray's, and the fading friendship. | | 6 | Third | Hebrew school, the death of tropical fish, and the beginning of humor as coping. | | 7 | Fourth | Camp Simchah, insult humor, and the spark of basketball as purpose. | | 8 | Fifth | Friendship with Billy, a fight with Bobby Swan, and an antisemitic incident. | | 9 | Sixth and Seventh | Dating anxiety, a bar mitzvah, and the death of his grandfather. | | 10 | Eighth and Ninth | Basketball obsession, fear of a bully, and academic achievement. | | 11 | Tenth | Body image, comedy discovery, and the first encounter with Kristel. | | 12 | Eleventh | First love and heartbreak, the Jetsyns' recruitment, and the pull of stand-up. | | 13 | Twelfth | Football, a fumble on the goal line, and a college scholarship. | | 14 | New York City, 2023 | Recovery, the green light metaphor, and advice to misfits. |

Common Questions

1. What is Misfit about?

Misfit is a comedy memoir by Gary Gulman that chronicles his childhood and adolescence in Peabody, Massachusetts, and his adult struggles with depression and recovery. It explores themes of identity, validation, and the lifelong impact of childhood experiences.

1. Is Misfit a comedy or a tragedy?

It's a comedy memoir that uses humor to address serious subjects like bullying, antisemitism, academic failure, and mental illness. The tone is often funny, but the underlying pain is real.

1. What is the significance of the Fred Rogers epigraph?

The epigraph states that we spend our lives reworking childhood material—feeling good about ourselves, managing anger, and saying goodbye. It sets up the memoir's structure, which alternates between childhood events and adult reflections.

1. How does Gary's mental health affect the narrative?

The memoir interweaves childhood anxieties with adult depression, hospitalization, and recovery. Flash-forwards to 2017–2023 show Gary in the midst of severe episodes, and the final chapter emphasizes his six-year remission and ongoing vigilance.

1. Who are the most important people in Gary's life?

His mother Barbara, his father Phil, his brothers Rick and Max, his childhood friend Wally, his high school friend Billy, his first love Kristel, and his partner Sadé all play significant roles.

1. **What role does basketball play in the memoir?