The Ø Symbol in Leave Me Behind: A Mark of Belonging, Pain, and Love
What Is the Ø Symbol?
The Ø symbol is the insignia of Riøt Squad, one of three covert military units in the dark forces world of Leave Me Behind. The character Nell Gallows (also called Bunny) carves this symbol into Bradshaw’s back during their time together. It first appears in the narrative not as a ceremonial tattoo but as a violent, intimate act—a permanent scar that marks him as belonging to her and to Riøt. In the final chapter (Chapter 43), Bradshaw reflects: “She carved a symbol into me. It took me a while to figure out what it meant. In the end, I fell in love with a Riøt soldier after all.” The symbol thus begins as a wound and ends as a sign of enduring love.
The mark is physical, not digital or abstract. It is a literal carving—a cut into flesh—that leaves a scar in the shape of the Riøt Squad logo: a slashed circle (Ø). This branding mirrors the squad’s own brutal identity as “executors of traitors” (as described in Chapter 4). The Ø is both a literal scar and a narrative symbol that accumulates meaning across the story.
Where the Symbol Recurs
The Ø symbol appears at key moments:
- Carving moment (Chapter 38 and implied context): Nell carves the Ø into Bradshaw’s back off-page between chapters. The reader learns of it in Chapter 38, when she touches his scar. The scene occurs during one of their most intense periods of conflict and love, likely during one of the times they are separated or fighting together.
- Bradshaw’s final reflection (Chapter 43): Five years after the events of Labrador, Bradshaw, now living in a Scottish cottage with his family, touches the scar. He explicitly states that it took him time to understand its meaning, and he now accepts it as a sign of loving a Riøt soldier.
- Nell’s memory (Chapter 38): When Jenkins leaves for London, Nell thinks of Bradshaw and imagines his life. She “brushes the part on my back where she carved a symbol into me” – this is told from his perspective in Chapter 43, but the scar is referenced in her internal thoughts as well.
- Symbolic recurrence in the playlist (Chapter 1): The Ø shape appears in the book’s playlist song titles? Not directly, but the playlist’s track “Pretty toxic revolver” and “I hate u, I love u” foreshadow the toxic love embodied in the Ø scar.
The symbol does not appear on any character other than Bradshaw. It is unique to him, making it a singular mark of Nell’s claim.
How Its Meaning Changes
| Stage | Meaning | Evidence |
|---|---|---|
| Carving | A violent act of belonging – Nell brands Bradshaw as hers, perhaps as retaliation or as a desperate way to keep him. | Bradshaw’s reflexion in Ch. 43: “She carved a symbol into me.” The act is not described in detail, but the scar is permanent. |
| During conflict | A reminder of betrayal and pain. In Chapter 36, when Nell points a gun at Bradshaw and he refuses to reveal the Ghost leader, the scar symbolizes the ruptured trust between them. | Nell asks “Who?” and he says “No” – the scar is a silent mark of their divided loyalties. |
| Separation | A token of lost love. In Chapter 38, Nell gazes at Bradshaw’s back (via memory) and the symbol becomes a grief-stricken memory of what they had. | “I miss him in the way I’ll always miss my Abrahm” – Nell’s longing is tied to the mark. |
| Epilogue (Ch. 43) | A sign of acceptance and enduring love. Bradshaw no longer sees it as a wound but as a badge of their bond. He says “I fell in love with a Riøt soldier after all” – the Ø now means family, peace, and the choice to love someone broken. | “In the end” – his final acceptance. |
The evolution moves from ownership → betrayal → grief → acceptance. The symbol is never neutral; it always carries the weight of the relationship between Nell and Bradshaw.
Character and Theme Connections
- Nell Gallows (Nell character page): The Ø is her signature. As the last Riøt soldier (she says “I’m the last Riøt soldier” in Chapter 33), she carries the squad’s legacy. Carving the Ø onto Bradshaw is an act of claiming him into that legacy, even as she herself tries to escape it.
- Bradshaw (Bradshaw character page): He initially resists the mark (he “took a while to figure out what it meant”), but by the epilogue he embraces it. The Ø becomes a part of his identity, merging his story with Nell’s.
- Trust and Betrayal (theme page): The Ø is physical evidence of trust violated and rebuilt. Bradshaw trusts Nell enough to let her mark him; later, that trust is broken when she leaves him for Jenkins, yet the scar endures.
- Guilt and Redemption (theme page): Nell’s guilt over her past (she says “I’m a monster” in Ch. 33) is embodied in the symbol. Bradshaw’s acceptance of the Ø is an act of redemption—he sees beyond her violence. The scar is a reminder that even sinners can be loved.
- Violence and Desire (theme page): The carving is intrinsically violent, yet it sparks desire. Bradshaw’s description of the act in the epilogue is tender, not angry, showing how violence and love coexist in their world.
- Survival and Sacrifice (theme page): The Ø marks survival. Both Nell and Bradshaw survive the war; the scar proves they lived through it together.
- Identity and Masks (theme page): The Ø is a mask of sorts—a brand that says “I am Riøt.” Bradshaw wears it literally on his back, while Nell wears the identity of “Bunny” as a mask. By the end, Bradshaw owns the symbol, integrating it into his true self.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Nell carve the Ø symbol into Bradshaw’s back instead of any other mark?
The Ø is the Riøt Squad insignia. By using it, Nell brands Bradshaw as belonging to her world—the world of killing, secrecy, and toxic love. It is not a random scar; it is an act of claiming him into the legacy that she herself cannot escape. The symbol is also a visual reminder that she sees him as part of her squad, even after she leaves Riøt.
2. How does Bradshaw’s interpretation of the Ø symbol change from the time it is carved to the epilogue?
Initially, Bradshaw likely views the scar as a painful betrayal or a mark of Nell’s violence. During the events of the story, it becomes a symbol of the trust that was shattered (Chapter 36). In the epilogue (Chapter 43), after five years of peace, he reinterprets it as a sign of love and belonging: “I fell in love with a Riøt soldier after all.” The meaning shifts from a wound to a treasured emblem of their bond.
3. In what ways does the Ø symbol connect to the theme of identity and masks in the novel?
The Ø is a mask that Bradshaw wears on his skin—it brands him as part of Nell’s identity (Riøt). Nell herself uses the name “Bunny” as a mask to survive in a male-dominated military world (Chapter 4). The symbol forces Bradshaw to confront who he really is: a man who loves a killer. By the epilogue, he accepts that identity, integrating the mask into his true self. The scar becomes part of his permanent identity, no longer a disguise.
4. How does the Ø symbol function as a narrative device to foreshadow the ending?
The symbol is permanent, just as Nell and Bradshaw’s bond is permanent despite separation and war. When Bradshaw initially struggles to understand its meaning, it mirrors his struggle to understand Nell. In Chapter 33, he says “I don’t think I can keep being Bones” – the Ø marks his transition from the ruthless soldier into a man capable of love. In the epilogue, the symbol that once caused pain now represents the family he has built, fulfilling the promise of a life beyond the dark forces.