Nell Gallows Character Analysis: The Bunny of Malum Squad

Overview

In Leave Me Behind by K.M. Moronova, Nell Gallows—code name “Bunny”—is the sole survivor of the elite underground squad Riøt and is reassigned to Malum after her sergeant, Jenkins, supposedly dies on a catastrophic mission in Patagonia. The narrative follows her struggle to exist in a new squad that distrusts her, while she carries the psychological weight of a past spent as a trained killer under Jenkins. Her arc is one of survival, guilt, love, and the desperate search for redemption in a world that offers none.

The novel’s opening playlist and content warning (Chapters 1 and 2) set an emotional tone of violent self-destruction, directly reflecting Nell’s internal turmoil. Though she appears cold and efficient, the story reveals a woman fractured by the orders she followed and the people she lost.

Plot Role

Nell functions as the story’s protagonist and emotional entry point. Her arrival at Malum squad (Chapter 4) immediately establishes her as an outsider: the squad blames her for the death of their teammate Achilles, and her one-night stand with Bradshaw (Bones) turns into an entangled partnership. She is both a threat and a victim, carrying secrets about the Patagonia ambush and her relationship with Jenkins.

Throughout the plot, Nell’s actions drive key turning points:

• In the second mock mission (Chapter 19), she shoots Bradshaw in the helmet and eliminates his squad, demonstrating her ruthlessness and need for revenge.
• After Bradshaw confesses that his brother Eren orchestrated her recruitment to use her as “insurance” (Chapter 29), Nell reveals that she was the one who killed Abrahm—the former partner Bradshaw mourned—by a black bullet meant for him.
• In the final confrontation (Chapters 35–36), when Jenkins reappears as the leader of the Ghosts, Nell offers herself as a hostage to save Bradshaw and Eren, only to later shoot Jenkins at his request (Chapter 42).
• The epilogue (Chapter 43) shows Nell five years later living with Bradshaw, Eren, and her son Nathan in Scotland, still haunted by her past yet finally at peace.

Motivations and Traits

Nell is driven by several conflicting forces:

• Survivor’s guilt: She blames herself for the death of Riøt squad. In Chapter 13 (flashback), she recounts dragging Jenkins to safety while her comrades died. She later admits to Bradshaw that she “felt nothing” when killing Abrahm, showing how Jenkins trained her to suppress emotion.
• Need for identity: She clings to the advice Jenkins gave her—”Show them you’re worthy of their respect”—yet she also hates him for making her a monster. Her constant internal conflict between wanting to be human and accepting her nature defines her.
• Desire for connection: Despite her cold exterior, she craves belonging. She is drawn to Bradshaw’s genuine vulnerability, and the tenderness of his hand in her hair during the training exercise (Chapter 21) marks a turning point where she allows herself to be seen.
• Revenge: She originally joins Malum to discover the truth about Patagonia and avenge Riøt. Her mock‑mission assault (Chapter 19) is fueled by perceived betrayal by the squad.

Her traits include hyper‑competence in combat, strategic thinking, emotional suppression learned from Jenkins, and an inability to trust easily. However, she also shows moments of compassion—apologizing to Bradshaw for mentioning Achilles (Chapter 6), and sharing her fear of the ocean with him (Chapter 3).

Chronological Arc

Nell’s story unfolds through non‑linear flashbacks:

• Five years before the main timeline (Chapter 5): Nell escapes Riøt’s abuse at a hot spring, where Jenkins discovers she killed a man named Barlet. Instead of reporting her, he makes her his protégé, kissing her and beginning their toxic bond.
• Three years before (Chapter 20): A mission at Black Bay goes wrong when Nell’s distraction causes Jenkins to take a bullet. He teaches her to dispose of bodies by feeding them to the tide, reinforcing her trust‑no‑one philosophy. They return to base and have sex; Nell concludes they are “molded by darkness” for each other.
• Two years before (Chapter 1 of Patagonia flashback): The mission where Riøt is ambushed. Nell drags Jenkins to safety, but he tells her to leave him behind. She survives; he is presumed dead.
• Present timeline (Chapters 3–42): Nell is reassigned to Malum. She endures harassment, learns Bradshaw’s identity, discovers Eren’s manipulation, and faces Jenkins again. She pretends to stay with Jenkins to save Bradshaw, then ultimately kills Jenkins when he asks.
• Five years after (Chapter 43): She lives in a cottage in Thornhill, Scotland, with Bradshaw, Eren, and her son. She gazes at a silver music box from Jenkins, mourning the man she once loved but had to destroy.

Relationships

Bradshaw (Bones)

Nell’s relationship with Bradshaw evolves from hatred to fragile trust to deep love. They first meet as strangers in a diner (Chapter 3), unaware they are future squad partners. After she learns his identity, she views him as an enemy. The bond strengthens when he protects her from explosions (Chapter 27) and confesses Eren’s scheme (Chapter 29). Her admission of killing Abrahm nearly destroys them, but Bradshaw chooses not to hate her. In the end, he rescues her from Jenkins and asks for “forever” (Chapter 45). The epilogue shows them raising a family, though grief lingers.

Interpretation: Bradshaw represents the possibility of redemption for Nell. He accepts her violent past without trying to change her, and she allows herself to be vulnerable with him for the first time since Jenkins.

Sergeant Jenkins

Jenkins is Nell’s creator—the man who both saved and damned her. He trains her to be a “reaper,” teaches her to trust no one, and forges an intense sexual and emotional bond. Yet he also planned to have her killed with the rest of Riøt (Chapter 36). When he reappears as the Ghosts leader, Nell’s love and hate are so intertwined that she agrees to stay with him to protect Bradshaw. In his final moments, he requests that she hum “Davy Jones” and kill him, which she does (Chapter 42). Her grief over him is still present five years later.

Interpretation: Jenkins symbolizes the inescapable nature of trauma. Even after his death, he remains part of Nell—the Ø shape she carved into Bradshaw’s back (Chapter 43) is a Riøt emblem, showing she can never fully separate from that darkness.

Eren (Bradshaw’s brother)

Eren is a manipulative figure who recruits Nell as “insurance” for his brother. Nell feels betrayed when she learns the truth, but she eventually spares him during the mock mission (Chapter 19) and fights alongside him in the final battle. By the epilogue, he lives with them, using prosthetic legs and teasing Nathan.

Malum Squad

The squad initially treats Nell with hostility, blaming her for Achilles’s death. She catalogues their weaknesses and seeks revenge, but after she hallucinates Jenkins’s lesson about “breaking a man,” she chooses a more complex path—she wounds Bradshaw but does not kill him. Eventually, the squad becomes her new family, and she fights to save them.

Key Decisions and Consequences

Theme and Symbol Connections

• Trust and Betrayal: Nell’s arc is centered on whom she can trust. Jenkins betrays her by planning her death; Eren betrays her by using her as insurance; Bradshaw betrays her by hiding Eren’s role. Yet she ultimately trusts Bradshaw enough to live with him. See trust and betrayal.
• Guilt and Redemption: Her survivor’s guilt and the weight of killing Abrahm drive her desire for atonement. She believes she doesn’t deserve life, but Bradshaw’s love helps her accept it. See guilt and redemption.
• Violence and Desire: The eroticism of pain runs through her relationships with both Jenkins and Bradshaw. Jenkins violates her as an act of power; Bradshaw’s touch in the cave (Chapter 21) is tender, showing desire without cruelty. See violence and desire.
• Survival and Sacrifice: Nel repeatedly sacrifices herself for others—leaving Jenkins behind, offering herself to save Bradshaw. Her survival instinct wars with her self‑destructiveness. See survival and sacrifice.
• Identity and Masks: Nell’s code names (Bunny, Gallows) are masks she wears. Jenkins’s training taught her to hide her true self. Only by the end does she integrate her “monster” and her “human” sides, symbolized by the Ø tattoo on Bradshaw’s back. See identity and masks.

Book-Specific Questions and Answers

1. Why does Nell reveal that she killed Abrahm?
   She confesses because she feels guilty about her past and wants Bradshaw to know the truth, even though it risks destroying their relationship (Chapter 29). It is a step toward honesty and redemption.

2. How does Nell’s loyalty to Jenkins conflict with her love for Bradshaw?
   Jenkins trained her to be a killer and was the only person she trusted; Bradshaw offers her a different kind of love, one not based on manipulation. Her decision to kill Jenkins shows she ultimately chooses Bradshaw, but she mourns Jenkins for years after.

3. What motivates Nell to seek revenge on Malum squad?
   She believes they treat her as a scapegoat for Achilles’s death and hold her responsible for Jenkins’s supposed death. In Chapter 19, she acts out of accumulated betrayal and a desire to prove she is dangerous.

4. Is Nell a hero or an anti‑hero?
   She is an anti‑hero. She has killed innocents (as Jenkins reveals in Chapter 36) and enjoys violence, yet she also protects Bradshaw and saves Eren. The novel does not excuse her actions but shows her capacity for change.

5. What does the silver music box symbolize in the epilogue?
   It represents her unresolved grief for Jenkins and the love they shared. Even though she has found peace, she cannot fully erase her past, and the box is a tangible reminder of the darkness that shaped her.

For further exploration of plot and character questions, visit the Questions and Answers page, or read the full ending explained.