The Music Box in Leave Me Behind: A Symbol of Memory, Love, and Lingering Loss
What Is the Music Box?
The music box is a small, silver round keepsake with bunnies carved into its surface. Inside, a tune mechanism plays the lullaby "Davy Jones"—a Hans Zimmer piece that Jenkins adopted as his favorite song. A carved inscription on the inner lid reads:
To think of me when I am away.
Gallows & Jenkins
The box appears only after Jenkins's death, when Nell discovers it in his breast pocket, and it becomes her most treasured memento of him.
Where the Music Box Appears
The box recurs in two key scenes, each marking a different emotional stage:
| Scene | Chapter | Context |
|---|---|---|
| Discovery | Chapter 42 | Nell finds the box in Jenkins's pocket after granting his final request. She winds it, hears the lullaby, and presses it to her heart. |
| Domestic life | Chapter 43 (epilogue) | Five years later in Scotland, the box sits on the piano in Bradshaw and Nell's cottage. Bunny gazes at it while mourning Jenkins. |
Between these appearances, Nell carries the box through the extraction and into the hospital, where she is still clutching it when Bradshaw asks her for forever.
How the Box's Meaning Changes
The music box transforms across the narrative: from Jenkins's private token, to Nell's grief object, to a settled memorial.
1 — Jenkins's Love Token
Jenkins kept the box in his breast pocket—literally close to his heart. The inscription, "To think of me when I am away," suggests he anticipated his own death and wanted to leave a tangible piece of himself behind. The bunnies carved into the silver point to Nell's nickname "Bunny," making the box a personalized, intimate gift. For Jenkins, the box was a way to remain present even after he was gone—a final act of claiming Nell's memory.
2 — Nell's Grief Vessel
When Nell discovers the box, she is still reeling from pulling the trigger. The box gives her something physical to hold onto as she processes Jenkins's death. She presses it against her heart during the evacuation, and in the hospital, the box is still with her. It contains not just the lullaby but the full weight of her relationship with Jenkins—the love, the violence, the manipulation, and the tenderness. The box does not simplify those feelings; it holds them together.
3 — A Memorial in a New Life
Five years later, the box has found a permanent home on the piano in the Scottish cottage where Bradshaw, Nell, Eren, and Nathan live. It shares wall space with photos of Malum, Abrahm, and Jenkins. Bradshaw observes Bunny gazing at it and understands her grief as parallel to his own mourning for Abrahm. The box is no longer a fresh wound but a settled scar—a way to honor someone who mattered without letting his memory dictate the present.
Character Connections
Jenkins
The music box is Jenkins's final gesture. It reveals a version of him that few saw: someone capable of sentimental attachment and forward planning. He had the box made with Nell's nickname, his own name, and a message about remembering him. This does not erase his cruelty, but it complicates him. Even as he manipulated, killed, and possessed, he also loved in his own fractured way—and he wanted to be remembered.
Nell / Bunny
For Nell, the box becomes a portable shrine. She carries it through the most traumatic night of her life and keeps it for years. Her willingness to display it in the family home suggests she has integrated Jenkins into her history rather than erasing him. This is consistent with her character arc: she does not pretend she was never Jenkins's soldier. She accepts that part of herself and mourns it without letting it define her.
Bradshaw
Bradshaw's reaction to the box reveals his growth. He does not resent it or demand Nell discard it. Instead, he recognizes its meaning because he carries his own grief for Abrahm. The line "I know she misses him in the way I'll always miss my Abrahm" shows that Bradshaw has made peace with Nell's past—and with the fact that loving someone means accepting their history, including the people they lost.
Theme Connections
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Memory and lingering presence: The box makes concrete the idea that the dead do not disappear. Jenkins remains present through the lullaby and the carved inscription. The box is a physical anchor for a ghost.
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Love and its complications: The box represents a love that was real but also toxic. Nell mourns someone who hurt her and whom she helped kill. The box holds that contradiction without resolving it.
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Guilt and redemption: Keeping the box suggests Nell does not run from her guilt. She faces what she did and what she felt, and she carries both forward.
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Identity and masks: The inscription "Gallows & Jenkins" marks Nell's old identity—her Riøt name paired with Jenkins's. The box ties her to the soldier she used to be, even after she becomes Bunny.
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Survival and sacrifice: The box is a survivor's keepsake. It outlasts Jenkins and witnesses the transition from war to peace in Scotland.
Study Questions
1. Why does the music box play "Davy Jones," and what does this song choice reveal about Jenkins?
The song, confirmed as "Davy Jones" by Hans Zimmer, is Jenkins's favorite because of its sad tune. He requests Nell hum it during their morning walks three years after they reunite, and again as he lies dying. The choice reveals that Jenkins identified with mournful, melancholic music. He did not pretend to be cheerful or redeemable. The song's association with death and the sea (Davy Jones being a nautical figure of the afterlife) foreshadows Jenkins's death and suggests he saw himself as someone destined for darkness. The lullaby quality also points to a childlike need for comfort—Jenkins, the monster, wanted to be soothed.
2. How does the music box's meaning shift between its discovery in Chapter 42 and its reappearance in Chapter 43?
In Chapter 42, the box is a sudden, shocking discovery that recontextualizes Jenkins's final moments. It is drenched in blood and fresh grief. Nell winds it while still holding the gun, and the lullaby becomes the sound of her breaking. Five years later, the box has been cleaned and placed on a piano in a warm cottage. The grief has softened into a familiar ache. The box is now part of a home, not a battlefield. This shift mirrors Nell's own journey from trauma to a hard-won peace where loss is integrated rather than overwhelming.
3. What does Bradshaw's acceptance of the music box reveal about his character development?
Bradshaw begins the novel unable to process Abrahm's death. By the epilogue, he can acknowledge Bunny's grief for Jenkins because he has come to terms with his own. His observation—"I know she misses him in the way I'll always miss my Abrahm"—shows he no longer sees Jenkins as a rival but as another loss Bunny carries. This acceptance signals that Bradshaw has moved beyond jealousy and possessiveness. He trusts Bunny's love for him is secure enough to leave room for her past. His growth is measured not by forgetting Abrahm but by learning to live alongside the memory.
4. The carved inscription reads, "To think of me when I am away." How does this message carry different meanings for Jenkins alive versus Jenkins dead?
When Jenkins was alive, "away" referred to temporary separation—mission deployments or time apart. The box was meant to comfort Nell during those absences and reinforce their bond. After Jenkins's death, "away" becomes permanent. The message now carries an elegiac weight: the box is all that remains of him. The phrase transforms from a lover's reassurance into an epitaph. Nell cannot summon Jenkins back, so the box must do the work of memory. This double meaning is built into the language itself, and the narrative honors both interpretations across the timeline.