Leave Me Behind Chapter 5 Summary & Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Five years before the events of the present timeline, Private Nell Gallows slips away from her squad, Riøt, after enduring physical abuse—a bruised leg and torn feet from being tripped and elbowed by her fellow soldiers. She finds a secluded hot spring and sinks into the warm water, seeking a moment of peace. Her respite is shattered when Sergeant Jenkins appears, standing on the rocks above, having noticed her absence from formation. Embarrassed by her nakedness, Nell moves to leave, but Jenkins orders her to stay. He strips off his uniform and joins her in the water. In an uncharacteristically soft tone, he tells her she does not have to be formal. He examines her injuries, acknowledging that her squad members are giving her trouble. Then he drops a bombshell: he knows she was the one who killed a soldier named Barlet. He admits that Barlet was on his own list of traitors to eliminate. Nell fears being reported for insubordination and losing her chance to earn her “cards”—the only way out of the dark forces. Instead of punishment, Jenkins offers to take her under his wing, saying he wants to help her bloom into the monster she truly is. When she asks why, he replies that she is just like him and that he likes her. The moment culminates in a kiss, and Nell realizes that this man—the one she fears most—will ruin whatever good remains in her.

Key Events

Nell leaves Riøt’s formation to soak her injuries in a hot spring.
Sergeant Jenkins discovers her and surprises her by joining her in the water.
Jenkins reveals he knows Nell killed Barlet, a traitor he had already planned to eliminate.
Instead of reporting her, Jenkins offers to mentor Nell and calls her a monster like himself.
Jenkins kisses Nell, and she senses this relationship will corrupt her remaining goodness.

Character Development

Nell Gallows is shown as vulnerable and physically broken from the abuse of her squad. Yet she carries a hidden ruthlessness—she killed Barlet without orders. Her reaction to Jenkins’s offer reveals a deep craving for connection, even from a dangerous figure. She is caught between fear and attraction, and the kiss marks a turning point where she chooses to embrace (or be drawn into) the darkness.

Sergeant Jenkins sheds his usual stern demeanour, revealing a softer, almost affectionate side—his first smile, a gentle touch, and a confession of liking her. However, his language (“help you bloom into the monster”) and his love for the intimacy of killing show that his tenderness is intertwined with violence. He sees Nell as a kindred spirit, and this encounter establishes the origin of their complex bond.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Monster and Humanity: Jenkins explicitly frames Nell’s potential as a “monster,” a term that becomes a motif for the darkness within soldiers trained by the dark forces. The hot spring, a place of cleansing and peace, becomes the site where this monstrous identity is embraced.
Predatory Intimacy: The scene eroticizes power imbalance. Jenkins’s authority as a sergeant, his knowledge of her secret, and his physical examination of her bruises create a dynamic where intimacy is weaponized.
The Price of Escape: The “cards” represent the only ticket out of the dark forces. Nell’s desperation to earn them motivates her compliance and her fear of being reported. This underscores the systemic coercion that binds soldiers to their superiors.

Why This Chapter Matters

This flashback is the emotional and psychological foundation of Nell’s relationship with Jenkins. It reveals how she became entangled with him—not through force, but through a perverse mentorship born from shared darkness. The chapter also deepens the world-building by explaining the “cards” system and the brutal hierarchy of the dark forces. Understanding this moment is essential for interpreting Nell’s choices and her internal conflict throughout the rest of the story.

Study Questions and Answers

Why does Jenkins choose to mentor Nell rather than report her?
He sees in her a reflection of himself—a killer who acts on instinct. He also admits he likes her, suggesting a personal attraction that transcends military protocol. His offer to help her “bloom into a monster” indicates that he values her potential ruthlessness as an asset, not a flaw.
What does the hot spring setting symbolize in this chapter?
The hot spring initially represents peace and healing, a rare respite from the violence of the camp. But Jenkins’s intrusion transforms it into a site of intimate revelation and seduction. The water that soothes Nell’s bruises becomes the medium through which he draws out her dark side, blurring the line between comfort and corruption.
How does Nell’s perception of Jenkins shift during the scene?
She begins with fear and formality, recalling his brutal reputation (gouging a soldier’s eyes out). Yet his soft tone, smile, and gentle touch disorient her. By the end, she admits she craves his affection like a dose of morphine, acknowledging that her fear and desire have merged. This shift sets up the doomed attraction that will define their relationship.