Chapter summaries It Was an Ugly Couch Anyway Elizabeth Passarella

Chapter 9: Lost in Times Square — Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

The chapter opens with a childhood story about the author’s sister, Holland, who told their mother she was going to “Caydie’s” but was misheard as “Amy’s.” The misunderstanding led to a police search until Holland returned home safely. Passarella then recalls losing her own father in a hardware store as a child and accidentally hugging the wrong man. She contrasts her own relaxed approach to losing her kids with the more anxious style of other parents, noting that in New York she feels her children are safe, in part because of doormen and dense foot traffic.

The central incident occurs on Christmas Eve 2018. Passarella, her husband Michael, and their children Julia and James attend a Paul Simon concert earlier that fall, where she writes her phone number on James’s arm. Months later, while retrieving a printed photo at a Walgreens in Times Square, James wanders off. The author, distracted, does not notice he failed to enter the revolving door. She heads outside and spots his hat in the crowd; James runs back to her, crying. He explains he tried to ask a woman for her phone to call his mother, but his request came out as “Give me your phone, and take off the security code,” so the woman refused. The author praises him for staying on the block and coaches him on clearer phrasing. In the weeks that follow, James successfully uses a store intercom at Whole Foods and later calls from a friend’s phone after following the wrong stroller.

Passarella concludes that the experience mirrors her own spiritual life: she often “botches the message” when seeking help, trying to solve problems herself instead of admitting she is lost. She likens God to the king and queen in Tangled, who send lanterns into the sky each year, never ceasing to search for their child. She finds hope in the knowledge that even when she gets the words wrong, God is already looking for her.

Key Events

  • Holland’s childhood mix‑up with “Caydie” versus “Amy” leads to a police call.
  • The author loses her father in a hardware store and hugs a stranger.
  • Sam plays with a dead mouse in Central Park; the couple who returns him is horrified.
  • At a Paul Simon concert, the author writes her phone number on James’s arm.
  • On Christmas Eve, the family goes ice‑skating at Bryant Park and then to a Times Square Walgreens.
  • James does not enter the revolving door; Luke notices he is missing.
  • The author finds James at the end of the block; he says he asked a woman for her phone but phrased it poorly.
  • A month later, James follows the wrong stroller and calls from another parent’s phone.
  • The author reflects on how James’s story parallels her own attempts to follow God’s instructions imperfectly.

Character Development

Elizabeth Passarella emerges as a parent who balances vigilance with trust in her children’s common sense. The Times Square scare humbles her, and she acknowledges her tendency to become distracted and overconfident. By the chapter’s end, she accepts that she will always botch the message and needs to rely on God.

James grows from a six‑year‑old who gives a clumsy request to a child who later seeks help effectively at Whole Foods and through a friend’s phone. His courage increases after the incident.

Julia is briefly noted as having strong direction sense, contrasting with James’s and the author’s tendency to daydream.

Michael appears as a calm co‑parent who takes the kids skating and later handles the Whole Foods intercom situation.

Luke, the nephew, is the first to notice James is missing, highlighting the author’s distraction.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Getting Lost as a Spiritual Metaphor – Each lost-child story (Holland, the hardware store, James in Times Square) illustrates how easily people become separated and how quickly a small misunderstanding can escalate. The author explicitly compares herself to James: she “demands a woman in Times Square give me her phone” instead of admitting she is lost—a failure to ask for help properly.

Times Square as Chaos – The crowded, shadowy, noisy intersection symbolizes the overwhelming distractions of life. The revolving door becomes a missed entry point; failing to go through it leaves James stranded.

The Power of a Simple Message – James’s accidental demand for the “phone and security code” backfires, while a polite request would have worked. The author applies this to prayer and faith: she often adds her own spin to God’s instructions.

Parental Grace vs. Perfection – Passarella does not pretend to be a flawless parent; she reads while Sam plays and admits she gets distracted. Her love is not contingent on perfect behavior, which mirrors the grace she describes God offering.

The Lanterns from Tangled – The Disney movie image of the king and queen releasing lanterns each year represents God’s relentless search for humanity. The author finds comfort in knowing she does not have to find her own way home.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter weaves everyday parenting episodes into a profound meditation on human limitation and divine grace. It shows that New York City parenting involves distinct challenges and resources (doormen, dense crowds, learned phone numbers) and that even a harrowing moment can become a lesson in trust. The chapter underscores Passarella’s central thesis: that trying to fix ourselves on our own is futile, and that true peace comes from accepting that we are already being sought.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does James fail to get help from the woman in Times Square?
James was panicked and blurted out, “Give me your phone, and take off the security code” instead of saying he had lost his mother. The woman likely misunderstood and refused to help.

2. How does the author connect the Times Square incident to her faith?
She compares her own tendency to botch God’s instructions with James’s flawed request. She realizes that, like God sending lanterns in Tangled, God is always looking for her, even when she cannot find the right words or the way home.

3. What practical safety lesson does James learn from the experience?
James learns to stay on the block, remember his mother’s phone number, and if needed, ask a store employee or doorman for help. He later successfully uses a store intercom at Whole Foods and calls from a friend’s phone after following the wrong stroller.

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