Performance vs. Authenticity in Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating
The Thematic Claim: Performance as a Mask for Authenticity in Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating
Adiba Jaigirdar's novel Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating interrogates the tension between the selves we perform for social approval and the authentic identities we suppress. The central claim is that both protagonists—Hani and Ishu—have constructed elaborate performances to survive their respective social worlds, and that their fake relationship becomes the very mechanism that forces them to dismantle those performances and embrace vulnerability. The novel suggests that authenticity is not a fixed state but a process that requires risk, honesty, and the willingness to be seen imperfectly by others.
The Performance Contract: The Google Doc as a Symbol of Controlled Deception
The fake dating arrangement begins as a transactional performance, codified in a shared Google Doc titled “Hani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Dating.” This document is the literal embodiment of the performance contract. In chapter nine, Hani explains that writing down their lies will help them avoid being caught, and she types rules that govern the fiction: they cannot tell anyone the truth, they will break up once Ishu becomes Head Girl and Hani’s friends accept her, and Ishu will initiate the breakup to appear “cool.” The document is a tool of control, designed to manage the narrative of their relationship and to protect each girl from the consequences of being seen as they truly are.
For Hani, the performance is about maintaining her status as the agreeable, easygoing friend to Aisling and Dee. She has learned to suppress parts of herself—her halal dietary needs, her bisexuality, her discomfort with her friends’ microaggressions—to avoid conflict. In chapter eleven, when Ishu suggests a fake date, Hani initially says she is vegetarian rather than explain halal, because she has grown used to deflecting Aisling’s dismissive comments about religion. The performance is exhausting, but it is also a survival strategy. For Ishu, the performance is about projecting academic perfection and emotional detachment to satisfy her parents’ expectations, especially after her sister Nik’s perceived failure. In chapter seven, Ishu tells her parents she will become Head Girl, a claim she knows is unlikely, because she wants to be the daughter who fulfills their dreams. The performance is a lie she tells herself as much as others.
The Google Doc thus becomes a symbol of the characters’ shared investment in artifice. It is a space where they script their public personas, but it also inadvertently records the moments of genuine connection that begin to leak through the performance—the awkward first date, the halal restaurant research, the small smiles. The document is both a cage and a mirror.
Performing for Others: The Fake Dates and Social Masks
The fake dates themselves are performances staged for an audience. In chapter eleven, Ishu insists they go on a date after school so that people will “know” they are together, and she suggests taking photos to post on social media. The date is not about intimacy but about visibility. Ishu even rehearses compassion, telling Hani she wants to appear like a “nice person” by caring about her girlfriend’s dietary restrictions. This moment reveals the performative nature of kindness: Ishu is not trying to be caring; she is trying to look caring. Yet the performance also creates a space for genuine consideration to emerge, as Ishu researches halal restaurants and learns about Hani’s needs.
Hani’s performance is more deeply embedded in her friendships. Throughout the novel, she contorts herself to fit Aisling and Dee’s expectations, even when they mock her father’s accent or dismiss her Bengali culture. In chapter two, Hani defends her father but then quickly changes the subject to avoid tension. She performs the role of the accommodating friend, suppressing her own discomfort. The fake relationship with Ishu initially serves this performance: by dating Ishu, Hani hopes to prove to her friends that she is “normal” and that her Bengali identity is not a liability. But the performance backfires when Aisling and Dee react with suspicion and hostility, forcing Hani to confront the fact that their acceptance was conditional on her erasure.
The performance also extends to family. Ishu performs the role of the dutiful daughter, hiding her queerness and her true ambitions from her parents. In chapter six, when Hani first proposes the fake dating scheme, Ishu refuses because she is not out to her parents and fears the consequences of a public queer relationship. The performance of heteronormativity is a survival mechanism, but it also isolates her. Her parents’ disappointment in Nik, shown in chapter seven, reinforces Ishu’s need to perform success, even if it means lying about her chances of becoming Head Girl.
The Cracks in the Performance: Real Feelings and the Discovery of the Guide
The performance begins to unravel when genuine feelings intrude. In chapter twenty-two, Ishu admits to herself that she has a crush on Hani, calling it a “ridiculous crush” that she must kill. The internal monologue reveals the contradiction: she is performing indifference while feeling intense attraction. Similarly, Hani’s narration in chapter twenty-nine shows her avoiding the Google Doc because she has developed real feelings for Ishu and is hurt by the possibility that Ishu shared their secret with Nik. The performance has become unsustainable because the emotions it was meant to contain have overflowed.
The crisis intensifies when Nik discovers the guide. In chapter thirteen, Ishu and Hani encounter Nik and her fiancé at a café, and Ishu panics, believing Nik overheard their plans. Ishu explains that Nik has always been the “perfect” sister and that she is pretending to date Hani to become Head Girl and finally win her parents’ approval. This confession is a moment of authenticity within the performance: Ishu admits her vulnerability and her fear of being overshadowed. The guide, which was meant to be a private script, becomes a potential weapon in Nik’s hands, threatening to expose the lie to everyone.
The discovery forces both characters to confront the cost of their performance. Hani, in chapter twenty-nine, attends a dawat at Ishu’s house and feels the weight of her unspoken feelings. The biryani and the communal setting highlight the cultural authenticity that both girls have been performing around. The dawat is a space where their Bengali identity is not a performance but a lived reality, yet even here, they are hiding their true relationship. The locked bedroom scene, where they are alone together, becomes a moment of genuine connection that transcends the fake dating script.
Resolution: Authenticity and Community
The novel’s resolution moves from performance to authenticity. In chapter forty-nine, at the mosque barbecue, Hani openly tells Aisha that she is bisexual, a confession she had previously avoided with her friends. She also acknowledges that the fake dating led to real feelings, and Ishu checks the Google Doc to give an honest timeline: they started fake dating six weeks ago but became a real couple three weeks ago. This moment is significant because they are no longer performing for an audience; they are simply telling the truth. The rain that earlier symbolized their emotional turmoil and the chaos of their lies gives way to a summer barbecue, a setting of openness and community.
The holud for Nik’s wedding in chapter fifty-one is the culmination of this shift. Ishu and Hani plan the celebration themselves, decorating, cooking biryani, and dressing in traditional attire. Ishu wishes her parents could attend, but she chooses to celebrate with Hani and Nik, embracing the family she has rather than the one she performed for. The holud is a performance in the sense that it is a ritual, but it is a performance of love and acceptance, not deception. Ishu’s emotional response—noting that she has become more expressive since befriending Hani—shows that she has shed the mask of emotional detachment.
Complexity and Contradiction: The Performance as a Path to Authenticity
The novel complicates the binary of performance versus authenticity by showing that the two are not always opposed. The fake dating arrangement, though rooted in deception, creates a safe space for both girls to explore their feelings without the pressure of real-world consequences. The Google Doc, initially a tool of control, becomes a record of their genuine connection. The performance allows them to practice vulnerability: Ishu learns to be compassionate, Hani learns to assert her needs. In this sense, the performance is not merely a mask but a scaffold for authenticity.
However, the novel also critiques the cost of performance. Hani’s friends, Aisling and Dee, are shown to be conditional in their acceptance, and Hani’s attempts to perform for them ultimately fail. Ishu’s performance of academic perfection nearly destroys her when she is accused of cheating in chapter forty-four, and she is forced to confront the fact that her reputation is built on a lie. The novel suggests that authenticity requires not only self-acceptance but also the willingness to risk rejection. The characters must let go of the performances that have protected them and trust that their true selves are worthy of love.
Study Questions and Answers
1. How does the Google Doc function as both a symbol of control and a record of authenticity?
The Google Doc is initially a tool for managing the fake relationship, with rules designed to prevent emotional entanglement. However, as the story progresses, the document also captures the genuine moments of connection—the awkward first date, the halal restaurant research, the shared laughter. It becomes a record of the characters’ growth, showing that the performance they scripted inadvertently revealed their authentic selves.
2. In what ways do Hani and Ishu perform different versions of themselves for different audiences?
Hani performs the role of the agreeable, accommodating friend for Aisling and Dee, suppressing her bisexuality and her cultural needs to avoid conflict. Ishu performs the role of the emotionally detached, academically perfect daughter for her parents, hiding her queerness and her true ambitions. Both performances are survival strategies, but they also isolate the characters from genuine connection.
3. How does the discovery of the guide by Nik serve as a turning point in the theme?
Nik’s discovery threatens to expose the performance, forcing Hani and Ishu to confront the consequences of their lies. It also leads to a moment of vulnerability where Ishu admits her fear of being overshadowed by her sister. This crisis pushes both characters to acknowledge their real feelings and to consider whether the performance is worth maintaining.
4. What role does the holud for Nik’s wedding play in the resolution of the theme?
The holud is a celebration that Ishu and Hani plan together, embracing their cultural heritage and their love for Nik. It is a performance in the sense of being a ritual, but it is a performance of authenticity—of family, love, and acceptance. Ishu’s decision to celebrate despite her parents’ absence shows that she has moved beyond performing for approval and toward embracing her chosen community.
5. How does the novel suggest that performance can sometimes lead to authenticity?
The fake dating arrangement creates a low-stakes environment where Hani and Ishu can practice being vulnerable without immediate real-world consequences. The performance allows them to explore their feelings, learn about each other’s needs, and eventually admit their love. The novel suggests that while performance can be deceptive, it can also be a stepping stone to genuine self-expression and connection.