The Pond as Amphibian Gay Bar: Symbol Analysis in Congratulations, the Best is Over!
What Is the Pond?
In R. Eric Thomas’s memoir Congratulations, the Best is Over!, the backyard pond is a physical structure built by his husband, David, during the couple’s first year in their Baltimore County suburban home. The pond is a small, ecologically engineered water feature: David reinforces it with waterproof tarp, wooden slats, and rebar, adds a solar-powered aerator, a waterfall, and plants, and creates a shallow beach for animals. It is designed to attract wildlife and serve as a centerpiece for the garden. However, the pond quickly becomes crowded with dozens of male tree frogs whose nightly mating calls form a deafening chorus. Eric jokingly dubs the scene the “Amphibian Gay Bar,” a term that captures both the queer spectacle of calling frogs and his ambivalent embrace of the chaotic, vibrant space David has created.
Where the Pond Appears
The pond’s construction is first mentioned in Chapter 14, “Hostas Negotiator,” when David maps out the spot where he plans to dig the pond the following spring. The pond itself becomes a major narrative focus in Chapter 19, “Rainbow Connection,” which describes its completion, the arrival of frogs, Eric’s sleepless struggle, and eventual departure of the frogs at the end of mating season. The pond also appears in flash-forwards and reflections within the same chapter, where Eric imagines future gatherings around it. It is a recurring physical location but a concentrated symbolic presence in that single, pivotal chapter.
Changing Meaning of the Pond
The pond’s meaning shifts dramatically over the course of the narrative, mirroring Eric’s evolving relationship with his new suburban life and his own sense of control.
1. A Domain of Order and Creation
Initially, the pond represents David’s skill and vision—a deliberate, harmonious addition to the garden. David describes gardening as “the organization of space” and a “personal, spiritual practice.” The pond is an extension of that practice, a carefully engineered system meant to invite life and beauty. For David, it is a source of peace.
2. A Chaotic Queer Space
When the tree frogs arrive, the pond transforms into something noisy, unruly, and queer. Eric’s label “Amphibian Gay Bar” highlights the space as a site of male-male courtship (only male frogs call) and exuberant, unapologetic socializing. This phase tests Eric’s tolerance. The frogs’ constant trilling invades his sleep and psyche, driving him to research eviction methods and even spray vinegar (a failed “frog homophobia”). The pond becomes a symbol of his loss of control and the friction between his desire for order and David’s openness to messy, generative life.
3. A Site of Acceptance and Hope
After the frogs leave at the end of mating season, Eric sits with David in the new silence and envisions a future gazebo, a banquet table, and a gathering of loved ones. The pond remains, not as a source of irritation, but as the locus of a dream for community. Eric reflects, “I wanted to believe that that dream was still possible.” The pond’s meaning settles into a symbol of hope: the possibility of building something new, even when the reality is messier than the vision.
Character and Theme Connections
Characters
- R. Eric Thomas – The narrator’s reaction to the pond is the emotional core of the symbol. His initial delight curdles into anxiety, then despair (“Have I failed?”), and finally, tentative hope. The pond forces him to confront his need for control and his fear of being a “destructive force” in the space David creates.
- David – David builds the pond and loves the frog chorus. He represents a contrasting approach to life: patient, accepting, and attuned to natural cycles. His calm contrasts with Eric’s frantic googling and vinegar spraying.
- Neighbors – The friendly neighbors who text about the frogs and the retired woman with the dog are minor characters, yet they underscore the suburban context and the community that forms around (and despite) the pond’s chaos.
Themes
- Home and Belonging – The pond is part of Eric and David’s attempt to make a home in the suburbs. It symbolizes the challenge of building belonging amid the unexpected—flooding, frogs, and loss of control. The eventual hope for a community gathering around the pond suggests a fragile but real sense of home.
- Identity and Self-Discovery – The Amphibian Gay Bar forces Eric to question who he is: a progressive who tries to evict frogs? A partner who cannot share David’s joy? The pond becomes a mirror for his own identity struggles, especially as he redefines his relationship to queerness and environment.
- Grief and Loss – The pond’s construction coincides with Eric’s grief after settling Rick’s affairs in Oregon. The frogs come during a period of mourning, and the pond becomes a site where Eric works through his sense of failure and loss.
- Community and Friendship – The pond is intended as a gathering place. Even the frogs form a queer community, and their departure leaves space for Eric to imagine human friends around the water. The symbol reinforces the book’s exploration of chosen family and suburban social connections.
- Hope and Resilience – The pond’s ultimate meaning is hope. Eric’s vision of future dinners and laughter underlines his resilience. The temporary nature of the frogs—nature’s rhythm—teaches him that control is not the path to peace; trusting the process and the seasons is.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Eric call the pond an “Amphibian Gay Bar”?
The phrase is Eric’s humorous recognition that the male tree frogs calling to each other from the pond form a same-sex social space. David explains that only male frogs produce the calls, and the pond attracts multiple males who “scream at each other” and “kiki.” Eric sees this as a queer analogue to a gay bar, celebrating the frogs’ unapologetic presence even as the noise troubles him.
2. How does Eric’s attitude toward the pond and frogs change over the chapter?
Initially, Eric is amused and proud when he coins “Amphibian Gay Bar.” As the frogs multiply and the noise prevents sleep, he becomes frantic and resort to searching online forums and spraying vinegar to deter them. After the frogs naturally depart, Eric feels relief and gratitude for the silence. Finally, he sits with David by the pond and envisions a future community gathering, indicating a shift toward acceptance and hope.
3. What does the pond represent for David compared to Eric?
For David, the pond is an extension of his spiritual gardening practice: it clears his mind and connects him to nature and creation. For Eric, the pond initially represents a loss of control and an invasion of his daily life. By the end, Eric comes to see the pond as a site of potential belonging, though he continues to struggle with its chaotic reality.
4. How does the pond connect to the theme of hope and resilience in the book?
The pond’s arc—from engineered perfection to chaotic frog invasion to quiet potential—parallels Eric’s own trajectory of resilience. He learns that the dream of building a community does not require perfect control. The pond remains as a foundation for future joy, even after the frogs leave. His final vision of a gazebo, lights, and a long table of loved ones shows that hope can emerge from the mess of real life.