David: The Steady Anchor in Congratulations, the Best is Over!
Overview
David is one of the central figures in R. Eric Thomas’s essay collection Congratulations, the Best is Over! As Eric’s husband, he is the quiet, grounding presence that enables much of the book’s emotional journey. A recently ordained pastor, David’s career change prompts the couple’s move from Philadelphia to Baltimore, setting the memoir’s primary scene. Throughout the essays, David emerges as a partner who combines fierce advocacy, domestic creativity, and a deep well of patience. He is not a narrator but a constant companion whose actions – from building a backyard pond to confronting a hospital administrator – reveal a man equally comfortable with faith, physical labor, and vulnerability. David’s role is less about his own internal arc and more about how his steadiness creates the conditions for Eric’s growth, yet his own story of grief, reinvention, and hope runs silently alongside.
Plot Role
David serves as the catalyst for the book’s geographical and emotional framework. His acceptance of a solo pastor position at a small Baltimore church forces the couple to leave Philadelphia in Chapter 3, “This Is Wudder.” This move triggers Eric’s reckoning with his past and his sense of failure. David’s role extends beyond plot device: he is the practical partner who provides first aid after Eric’s arm laceration (Chapter 5), the advocate who sits outside a hospital window when he’s barred from triage, and the dreamer who suggests buying a house during lockdown (Chapter 12). He is also the stolid presence during his own father’s sudden death (Chapter 16), where he must process grief while managing logistics. In the final chapters, David’s projects – the raised garden beds, the pond, the moat – become metaphors for rebuilding after loss, positioning him as both doer and symbol of resilience.
Motivations and Traits
David is motivated by a desire to create community and to care for others. His pastoral calling is not just a job but an extension of his values: he works to revitalize a dwindling congregation by being “vulnerable and witty and wise” in his sermons, and he spends weekends strategizing with other faith leaders. At home, his motivation is to build a shared life with Eric. This is evident when he proposes on a mountain hike in Oregon (Chapter 7), understanding that Eric needs a literal journey to trust in love. David’s traits include patience (he waits for Eric to warm to the suburbs), physical pragmatism (he digs a pond by hand), and emotional honesty (on their first date, he says “I had a really great time” twice to ensure sincerity). He also possesses a calm defiance: when a charge nurse questions his relationship and blocks him from Eric’s triage, David “sat defiantly outside the window” to maintain connection. His actions show a man who acts on principle without drama, letting his presence speak louder than words.
Chronological Arc
David’s arc unfolds across the memoir’s timeline. In 2017, he is the reason for the move to Baltimore; in Chapter 3, he is optimistic and energetic, contrasting with Eric’s ambivalence. During the first year in Baltimore (Chapter 6), David thrives as a pastor, and Eric watches him become a leader. In the engagement flashback (Chapter 7), David is romantic and determined, building a cairn at Black Butte as a marker of journey and commitment. By 2019 (Chapter 11), he is part of the couple’s growing social circle, joining a kickball team and hosting parties. The pandemic (Chapter 12) sees him suggesting the house purchase, using hope rather than pressure. The most dramatic turn comes in Memorial Day 2021 (Chapter 16) when David’s father dies. He is seen packing for Portland, making funeral arrangements, and later pressing START on the aquamation machine (Chapter 18) – a moment of profound finality. In the aftermath (Chapters 19–20), David channels his grief into building a pond and a front-yard moat, finding peace in physical work. By summer 2021 (Chapter 20), he and Eric buy a painting titled “Hope,” walking hand in hand through Provincetown, signaling a new chapter of mutual resilience.
Relationships
The central relationship is David’s marriage to Eric. Their bond is shown through small, consistent acts: first aid, shared dreams of a house full of gatherings, and the annual “state-of-the-union” conversations where they ask “Who are you now?” David’s relationship with his father Rick is strained but loving; the fishing trip in Chapter 17 reveals David’s desire to integrate Eric into his family, even as Eric struggles with seasickness. After Rick’s death, David’s mother Rachel becomes a partner in the aftermath, and David is shown managing both his grief and his parents’ affairs. With the congregation, David is a caretaker – he conducts Zoom funerals during the pandemic, relaunches church programs, and tends the memorial garden. His friendships with Tony and Dan and Mark and Evan provide a counterbalance to Eric’s social anxiety, and his quiet suggestion to buy a house near them speaks to his own need for community.
Key Decisions and Consequences
David makes several pivotal decisions. The first is accepting the Baltimore pastorate, which uproots the couple but leads to Eric’s homecoming and eventual growth. The second is proposing on a mountain hike, a decision that risks Eric’s comfort but solidifies their engagement under the symbolism of journey and divine encounter. The third is choosing to advocate for Eric at the hospital after the laceration; by sitting outside the window, David challenges systemic bias and reinforces their partnership. The fourth is suggesting the house purchase during lockdown, which initially meets resistance but ultimately allows the couple to claim space and stability. The most painful decision is handling his father’s death: David chooses to press START on the cremation machine, a concrete act of closure. Each decision reinforces David’s role as someone who acts with intention, often when others hesitate.
Theme and Symbol Connections
David is a living link to several of the book’s themes. Home and Belonging: He embodies the creation of home, from the Baltimore apartment to the suburban farmhouse with raised beds and a pond. The pond itself, built to manage drainage, becomes a symbol of reinvention (Chapter 19). Grief and Loss: David’s grieving process is shown through his silent digging during his father’s death; Eric notes that “David silently begins digging a large pond to relieve pandemic stress.” Hope and Resilience: The purchase of the painting “Hope” in Provincetown (Chapter 20) mirrors David’s own persistent optimism. Community and Friendship: David’s efforts to build a congregation and social circle underscore the theme that adult friendship requires proximity and luck. Identity and Self-Discovery: While Eric asks “Who am I now?” David’s identity seems more fixed – yet his own query in the state-of-the-union talk shows he, too, is in process. David functions as a foil to Eric: where Eric spirals into depression or alienation, David digs, plants, and waits.
Five Questions and Answers
1. Why does David insist on sitting outside the hospital window when he is barred from triage after Eric’s arm injury? David explains that he stays because Black patients’ pain is often under-assessed by medical staff. His presence is a protective act rooted in both love and racial awareness, ensuring Eric is not overlooked.
2. How does David’s proposal on Black Butte reflect his understanding of Eric? David chooses a hike because he wants the engagement to symbolize journey and struggle. The cairn he builds represents “a marker of journey, struggle, and divine encounter,” matching Eric’s need to believe he deserves love after years of self-doubt.
3. What role does David play in the decision to buy a house during the pandemic? David gently shows Eric a Zillow listing near their friends Mark and Evan, recognizing that Eric’s envy of homeownership is a pathway to change. He lets Eric’s excitement guide him, but his own motivation is sharing the dream they discussed on their first date: a home full of gatherings.
4. How does David cope with the death of his father Rick? David channels his grief into manual labor. He digs a pond in the backyard (Chapter 19) to relieve stress, and later builds a front-yard moat to manage drainage. The physical work gives him “peace” and becomes a way to process loss without words.
5. In what way does David’s annual “state-of-the-union” conversation evolve from a scary performance review to a source of strength? Initially, Eric dreads the question “Do you still want to do this?” But after their first few anniversaries, they replace evaluations with the gentler question “Who are you now?” This shift allows David and Eric to embrace constant beginnings rather than judge progress, reflecting David’s patient approach to marriage.