Congratulations, the Best is Over! by R. Eric Thomas

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Quick Facts

Short Summary

R. Eric Thomas’s essay collection chronicles his return to his hometown of Baltimore after years away, a move prompted by his husband David’s new pastoral job. The essays weave together personal history, midlife transition, depression, and the challenges of rebuilding a sense of home. Thomas confronts past failures and racism, forms new adult friendships, and navigates sudden grief when David’s father Rick dies. Through therapy, writing, and small victories like building a garden path, he learns to embrace vulnerability and hope. The collection culminates in a move to the suburbs during the pandemic and a surreal encounter with a deer, symbolizing his willingness to begin again. A mix of humor and emotional depth, the book asks what it means to believe that the best might still be ahead.

Full Summary

The collection opens with a title page and an epigraph that set a tone of determined joy amid confusion, quoting Mrs. Peacock from the film Clue and an exchange between Andy Warhol and Joan Didion. The first proper essay, “This Is Wudder,” details the difficult move from Philadelphia to Baltimore in 2017. Eric and David are met by a scam moving company, and the exhausting night of hauling boxes forces Eric to reckon with his painful history in Baltimore: dropping out of college, coming out, and feeling like a failure. He tentatively re-embraces his hometown by joking in the local accent.

In “Maybe Going Back Again,” Eric feels invisible at a homegoing service when former family friends mistake him for a local sommelier. At his twentieth high school reunion, he reconnects with classmates and finds that being fully known allows him to feel like himself. “Oh My, This Soup’s Delicious, Isn’t It?” explores loneliness while David works long hours. After a severe arm laceration, Eric experiences healthcare bias when a charge nurse questions David’s right to be in triage. David advocates fiercely, and the chapter ends with gratitude for partnership.

“The Greatest City in America” parallels Baltimore’s aspirational slogans with Eric’s own struggle to define his identity. He starts therapy with Brian, whose desktop features rotating Office memes. Eric and David attempt a joint holiday letter, but David’s candid draft intimidates Eric, and he abandons the project. The chapter ends with Eric unable to answer “Who am I now?”

Chapter 7, “You Said You Outside, but You Ain’t That Outside,” flashes back to Eric and David’s engagement on a hike up Black Butte in Oregon. Despite hating the outdoors, Eric agrees to climb. At the summit, David builds a cairn, they exchange rings, and Eric breaks down crying, realizing he never believed he deserved love. The difficult descent in darkness mirrors marriage’s challenges.

“You Rock” describes a depression episode after a storytelling workshop. Eric drives to his maternal grandparents’ grave and finds a Mylar balloon reading “You Rock!” He then searches for his paternal grandparents’ grave and receives help from a kind older man. The chapter ends with an unexpected flicker of hope. In “Clap Until You Feel It,” Eric realizes he has no memory of the previous year’s Christmas tree, a sign of deepening depression. He tries antidepressants that prove ineffective, then finally sobs at a musical, embracing vulnerability as the path back to authentic life.

“Break Room Cake Communion” contrasts Eric’s failed attempt at a co-working space with memories of office cultures where break room cake symbolized community. In therapy, the running joke about Brian’s Office memes becomes a touchstone of their relationship. “Another Person in the Room” tackles the awkwardness of adult friendship. Eric tries Bumble BFF without success, then befriends Tony and Dan, another interracial gay couple. He initially frames them as rivals but the friendship deepens. By Christmas 2019, Eric feels hopeful about his career and hosts a party.

The title essay, “Congratulations, the Best Is Over!,” opens with a surreal scene: Eric standing in his suburban driveway, conversing with a deer. The deer replies and bolts. The narrative jumps back five months to the pandemic lockdown in Baltimore. Seeing that friends Mark and Evan bought a house, Eric and David tour a home near them. Despite Eric’s long-standing aversion to suburbs, they buy it. Flashbacks to childhood open houses reveal his mother’s dream of a house with a foundation they marched around seven times, a dream that never materialized. The purchase offers an escape from the pandemic and a claim to land, echoing the unfulfilled promise of forty acres and a mule.

“Jericho” recounts the family’s move to a white suburb in summer 2020. Drafting an unsent letter to neighbors, Eric feels racial anxiety heightened by a prepper magazine he finds at a grocery store. A late-night call from his mother after a hit-and-run sends him racing to Baltimore, where a police officer places her hand on her gun, forcing Eric to perform harmlessness. “Hostas Negotiator” describes transforming the muddy yard into a garden. While digging, Eric discovers twenty-seven pieces of buried slate and builds a path, finding mindfulness and accomplishment through physical labor.

“Determined to Enjoy Myself” takes place just before Election Night 2020. Eric buys survival gear out of anxiety over white nationalism. After the election, on January 6, 2021, his brother Jeffrey texts an evacuation plan as rioters attack the Capitol. Eric realizes he does want to survive. “Soft Ground: An Interlude” marks a stark before/after moment: David builds a pond to relieve pandemic stress, but on Memorial Day they learn that his father Rick has died of a heart attack. They pack for Oregon, their ordinary life shattered.

“The Invitation” flashes back to a fishing trip with Rick in Astoria. Eric, a non-fisherman, struggles with seasickness but tries to impress Rick, accidentally hooking himself. The ordeal becomes a metaphor for the effort required to enter a new family. “God in the Machine” details the aftermath of Rick’s death: managing his apartment, meeting neighbors, and witnessing aquamation (water cremation). At the crematorium, David presses START on the machine, and Thomas reflects on the rainbow from Noah’s Ark as a symbol of promise amid loss.

“Rainbow Connection” returns to the pond David builds. Tree frogs move in, producing a deafening chorus that Eric dubs the “Amphibian Gay Bar.” He tries to deter them with vinegar, accidentally killing grass. After a trip to Oregon, he finds the garden flourishing untended. The frogs vanish, and Eric ends the chapter by the pond with David, watching fireflies and rekindling hope for the community-filled yard they imagined.

“It’s Called Hope” describes attending his father’s retirement party and joining David in Provincetown. They buy a painting titled “Hope” after independently choosing it. The chapter reflects on their first four years of marriage, where annual “state-of-the-union” conversations were replaced with the question “Who are you now?” After a communal dinner and a piano-bar rendition of “Your Song,” Eric feels a renewed commitment to presence. The couple walks hand in hand through dark streets, embracing life as constant beginnings.

The Author’s Note recounts a pandemic night when Eric heard a magician’s performance on NPR. The audience’s applause and the rustle of fabric created a sense of wonder, shifting his approach to writing this book from humorous essays about midlife to a bolder work centered on transformation. The final chapter is a discussion guide prompting readers to reflect on home, otherness, loneliness, joy, adult friendships, and the journey of life.

Main Characters

• R. Eric Thomas – The author and narrator, navigating midlife transitions, marriage, depression, and reinvention after returning to his hometown of Baltimore.
• David – Eric’s supportive husband, a pastor whose job prompts their move to Baltimore. He provides steady partnership through grief and growth.
• Brian – Eric’s therapist, known for using Office memes on his desktop. His therapeutic relationship helps Eric process depression and identity.
• Tony and Dan – An interracial gay couple who become close friends with Eric and David, initially framed as rivals but deepening bonds through shared activities.
• Rick – David’s father, a fisherman whose sudden death from a heart attack becomes a central event of loss and family integration for Eric.
• Jeffrey – Eric’s younger brother who reappears during family gatherings and provides a link to Baltimore roots and familial support.

Themes

• Home and Belonging – The struggle to feel at home in a city once associated with failure and to define belonging in marriage, neighborhood, and family.
• Identity and Self-Discovery – Eric’s ongoing process of reassessing who he is amid midlife, marriage, and return to Baltimore, from “Who am I now?” to constant beginnings.
• Grief and Loss – The impact of sudden loss, especially the death of David’s father Rick, and how grief reshapes life, marriage, and healing.
• Community and Friendship – The difficulty and necessity of forming adult friendships, from Bumble BFF attempts to enduring bonds with Tony and Dan and neighbors.
• Hope and Resilience – The choice to embrace hope despite anxiety, depression, and systemic injustice, symbolized by a painting titled “Hope” and the author’s determination to continue.

Symbols

• The Deer – A surreal suburban deer encountered by Eric in his driveway, symbolizing the uncanny transition to a new home and the limits of communication with the natural world.
• The Pond (Amphibian Gay Bar) – The backyard pond David builds that attracts tree frogs, becoming a chaotic chorus that tests Eric’s control and later a symbol of letting go and hope for community gathering.
• The Balloon “You Rock!” – A Mylar balloon found at his maternal grandparents’ grave, unexpectedly offering a message of affirmation in a moment of depression and grief.
• The Slate Path – The twenty-seven pieces of buried slate Eric excavates to build a garden path, representing mindfulness, accomplishment, and the physical work of creating a home.

Ending Overview

The collection concludes with Eric and David buying a painting called “Hope” in Provincetown after independently selecting it. The annual “state-of-the-union” conversations in their marriage evolve into a softer inquiry: “Who are you now?” At a piano bar, a rendition of “Your Song” moves Eric, and he feels a deep connection to the present. The couple walks hand in hand through dark streets, and Eric reflects that life is not a single beginning or ending but a series of constant beginnings. The Author’s Note reinforces this: a magician’s trick on the radio convinced him of magic and transformed his creative process. The final discussion guide invites readers to consider their own journeys. The book leaves us with a sense of hope rooted in vulnerability, community, and the courage to keep starting over.

Chapter-by-Chapter Breakdown

Common Questions and Answers

1. What is the meaning of the title? The title reflects the idea that the best part of life might be behind, but there is still joy and hope in what comes next. It appears in the essay about buying a house during the pandemic.
2. Why does Eric return to Baltimore? He moves back because David gets a pastoral job there, forcing Eric to confront his past failures and redream his hometown.
3. How does Eric cope with depression? Through therapy with Brian, storytelling, writing, and eventually allowing himself to cry and embrace vulnerability rather than suppress emotion.
4. What role does David’s father Rick play? Rick’s sudden death is a central grief event that tests the couple and deepens Eric’s integration into David’s family. Flashbacks show Eric’s efforts to connect with him.
5. What is the “Amphibian Gay Bar”? It’s Eric’s nickname for the pond David builds that attracts tree frogs. The chaotic chorus symbolizes letting go of control and embracing community and impermanence.
6. How does the pandemic affect the narrative? The pandemic accelerates their move to the suburbs and intensifies themes of isolation, racial anxiety, and the search for home and safety.
7. What is the meaning of the deer encounter? The surreal deer in the driveway signifies the uncanny transition to suburban life and Eric’s openness to transformation, even when he resists it.
8. How does the book end? The final essay emphasizes constant beginnings. Eric and David buy a painting called “Hope,” walk hand in hand, and embrace that life is a series of new starts.

Further Reading

• Chapter 1 Summary
• Chapter 2 Summary
• Chapter 3 Summary
• Chapter 4 Summary
• Chapter 5 Summary
• Chapter 6 Summary
• Chapter 7 Summary
• Chapter 8 Summary
• Chapter 9 Summary
• Chapter 10 Summary
• Chapter 11 Summary
• Chapter 12 Summary
• Chapter 13 Summary
• Chapter 14 Summary
• Chapter 15 Summary
• Chapter 16 Summary
• Chapter 17 Summary
• Chapter 18 Summary
• Chapter 19 Summary
• Chapter 20 Summary
• Chapter 21 Summary
• Chapter 22 Summary
• Character: R. Eric Thomas
• Character: David
• Character: Brian
• Character: Tony and Dan
• Character: Rick
• Character: Jeffrey
• Theme: Home and Belonging
• Theme: Identity and Self-Discovery
• Theme: Grief and Loss
• Theme: Community and Friendship
• Theme: Hope and Resilience
• Symbol: The Deer
• Symbol: The Pond (Amphibian Gay Bar)
• Symbol: The Balloon “You Rock!”
• Symbol: The Slate Path
• Ending Explained
• Questions and Answers
• Quiz
• Essay Prompts