Chapter 23: Ari's Letter and a Conversation with His Mother
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Two days after Christmas, Ari sits down to write a letter to Dante but stops almost immediately, feeling like an emotional mess. His mother notices his anxiety and asks if he is nervous. Ari admits he is a little anxious. His mother begins to tell him to say something to his brother but then stops, shaking her head. She says what was is broken and no longer exists, and though she used to be a fixer, some things cannot be fixed. She no longer blames herself, a lesson she learned over a long time. Ari wants to say he understands but knows he will never be a mother who loses a still-living son.
His mother tells Ari she hopes he finds what he is looking for. Ari says he has no expectations, though he may be kidding himself. He knows he has to do this. He mutters the line, “Some children leave, some children stay. Some children never find their way,” and notices how sometimes a smile does not make sadness disappear. His mother hugs him and says she is going to Tucson for a few days to see his sisters, and she will tell them Ari sends his love. Ari asks her to tell them he still has Tito, his childhood bear, now kept in a box in the basement. His mother laughs fondly, remembering how much Ari loved that bear. Ari recalls that he used to talk to Tito, and the bear never talked back—perhaps the reason Ari loved him.
Key Events
- Ari attempts to write a letter to Dante but cannot get past the first line.
- His mother observes his agitation and engages him in a conversation about his brother.
- Ari’s mother admits that the relationship with his brother is irreparably broken and that she has stopped blaming herself.
- Ari declares he must visit his brother, though he goes without high expectations.
- His mother leaves to visit his sisters in Tucson.
- Ari remembers Tito, the teddy bear he used as a silent confidant.
Character Development
Aristotle Mendoza: Ari’s emotional turmoil is evident as he struggles even to begin a letter to Dante. He is preparing to confront his brother, a step that carries deep anxiety. His reflection on the bear Tito reveals a lonely childhood and a longing for unconditional, silent companionship. Ari shows maturity by acknowledging his own uncertainty about the visit.
Ari’s Mother: She shows vulnerability, admitting she cannot fix everything in her family. Her grief over her son (Ari’s brother) is profound, yet she has arrived at a place of self-forgiveness. Her decision to go see her daughters suggests she is seeking comfort from other family members while supporting Ari’s decision.
Dante Quintana: Though not physically present, Dante remains Ari’s primary emotional outlet. Ari’s failed letter indicates how much Ari relies on writing to Dante to process his feelings.
Tito the Bear: While not a character in the traditional sense, Tito symbolizes Ari’s childhood and his need for a confidant who would never judge or talk back—foreshadowing Ari’s ongoing search for connection.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Brokenness and Healing: Ari’s mother explicitly states that some things cannot be fixed. This theme of irreparable loss contrasts with Ari’s determination to visit his brother, suggesting that healing may still be possible even if the relationship itself is not restored.
- The Bear Tito as Symbol: Ari’s old teddy bear, stored in a box in the basement, represents his childhood self—a time when talking to a silent bear was enough. The fact that he still keeps the bear hints at a desire to hold onto innocence and a simpler form of communication.
- “Some children leave, some children stay”: This repeated line underscores the family fragmentation caused by Ari’s brother’s imprisonment. It suggests a sense of inevitability and fate, as if some losses are predetermined.
- Maternal Grief and Acceptance: Ari’s mother embodies the complex love of a parent who has lost a child to incarceration. Her journey from blame to acceptance mirrors the novel’s broader exploration of forgiveness.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter Twenty-Three marks a turning point in Ari’s personal arc. For the first time, he verbalizes his plan to visit his brother, moving from passive longing to active decision. His mother’s raw confession about the brokenness of their family deepens the emotional stakes of the novel. The chapter also reinforces the importance of Ari’s relationship with Dante—just writing to him is Ari’s way of anchoring himself. The quiet, kitchen-table conversation between mother and son is one of the most intimate moments in the book, revealing how grief and hope coexist in the Mendoza household.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Ari stop writing the letter to Dante at the beginning of the chapter?
Ari stops because he is emotionally overwhelmed. He describes himself as an “emotional mess” and is anxious about his upcoming visit to his brother. The weight of the situation makes it difficult for him to articulate his feelings, even to Dante.
2. How does Ari’s mother describe her feelings about his brother’s situation?
She says that what was is broken and no longer exists, and that some things cannot be fixed. She admits she used to blame herself but has stopped doing so after a long struggle. Her tone is heavy with sadness but also with a hard-won peace.
3. What significance does the bear Tito hold for Ari?
Tito is a childhood bear Ari kept in a box in the basement. Ari says he used to talk to Tito and that the bear never talked back. This suggests that Tito was a silent confidant during Ari’s lonely childhood, representing a safe, non-judgmental presence—something Ari still craves.