Chapter 4 (Chapter Three) Summary & Analysis
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
The chapter begins with a silent drive home. Ari notices that Dante, usually talkative, is unusually quiet, and Ari wonders whether Dante has always been afraid, just like him. As if they both entered an unfamiliar room, neither knows what to do.
Dante breaks the silence by saying he wishes he were a girl. Ari is taken aback, but Dante clarifies that he likes being a guy—he likes having a penis—but if he were a girl, they could get married. Ari says that will never happen. Dante is sad but claims he won't be. Ari turns on the radio, and Dante sings along to Eric Clapton's "My Father's Eyes," whispering that the song is his new favorite and mentioning "waiting for my prince to come." Ari admits he only sings when he's happy, and that he's only happy with Dante.
They arrive at Dante's house at dawn. Dante says he wants to kiss, and they pretend to kiss with eyes closed. Dante smiles and tells Ari he sees a longing and a yearning in him. He tells Ari that those words live in him and to look them up. Ari watches Dante bound up the steps with grace and no worry, then thinks to himself, "God, let his smile be enough."
Key Events
- Ari and Dante ride home in silence after an unspoken event.
- Dante reveals his fantasy of being a girl so they could marry.
- Ari acknowledges the impossibility of that scenario.
- They listen to music; Dante connects the lyrics to his own feelings.
- Ari confesses his happiness only exists with Dante.
- At dawn, they share a pretend kiss.
- Dante tells Ari he sees a "longing" and "yearning" in him.
- Ari watches Dante enter his house, hoping his smile will be sufficient.
Character Development
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Ari: Becomes more introspective, acknowledging that Dante might also be afraid. He hides his own fear from Dante, promising never to show it because he doesn't want Dante to think he doesn't love him. He realizes his happiness is tied to Dante, and he is beginning to confront his own emotions, even if he doesn't fully understand them yet—demonstrated when he has to be told to look up the words "longing" and "yearning."
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Dante: Shows vulnerability and sadness about the societal constraints on their relationship. He uses fantasy (pretending to kiss, imagining being a girl) as a way to cope and express his love. He is perceptive, recognizing a depth in Ari that Ari himself hasn't articulated. Despite the sadness, he maintains a hopeful smile, though Ari worries that smile may not be enough.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
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Love and Societal Barriers: Dante's wish to be a girl highlights the central obstacle: society does not allow same-sex marriage. Their relationship must exist outside conventional structures, and both characters are starting to feel the weight of that limitation.
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Fear and Vulnerability: Both Ari and Dante feel fear, but they express it differently. Ari tries to hide his fear completely; Dante's fear comes out in his fantasies and his quiet moments. The silent drive symbolizes the unspoken fears they share.
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Happiness and Presence: Ari states that he is only happy when with Dante. This underscores the idea that happiness is a temporary, stolen state for them, rather than a guaranteed part of life.
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Language and Emotion: Dante's use of "longing" and "yearning" are key. These words name a feeling that Ari has not yet identified. Language becomes a tool for emotional discovery.
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Pretending vs. Reality: The "pretend kiss" is a powerful symbol. They can only enact their love in an imaginary space, not in real life. Dawn represents a new day, but also uncertainty about what that new day will bring.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter deepens the emotional intimacy between Ari and Dante by directly addressing the societal obstacle that looms over their relationship. It moves beyond their early friendship into a more mature awareness of love's limits in a world that may not accept them. Ari's internal conflict between hiding fear and wanting to love freely becomes a central tension that will drive future events. Dante's longing is laid bare, and their pretend kiss crystallizes both their devotion and the painful gap between fantasy and reality.
Study Questions and Answers
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Why does Dante say he wishes he were a girl? What does this reveal about his understanding of their relationship?
Dante wishes he were a girl so that he and Ari could get married in a socially accepted way. This reveals his painful awareness that society does not permit a same-sex marriage, and he yearns for a more conventional path to be with Ari. -
How does Ari respond to Dante's sadness, and what promise does he make to himself?
Ari tells Dante not to be sad, but he knows Dante will be. He promises himself that he will never show Dante his own fear, fearing that Dante might think he doesn't love him. Yet Ari recognizes he cannot keep that promise. -
What does Dante mean when he says he sees "a longing" and "a yearning" in Ari? How does Ari react?
Dante perceives a deep, unexpressed desire in Ari—perhaps for love, freedom, or a life without fear. Ari is initially puzzled and needs to be told to look up the words, showing he is still learning to understand his own emotions.