Chapter Five: Aristotle’s List and Hidden Desires
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
In the final weeks of summer, Aristotle lifts weights in his basement and considers taking up a hobby. He feels untalented compared to Dante, who seems good at everything. Ari admits that his real hobby is thinking about Dante and feeling his body tremble with desire. He reflects that keeping his whole life a secret might itself be a hobby, and that knowing how to fight is a survival skill he may need. After showering, Ari writes a list of things he wants to do: apply for college, read more, listen to music, go camping (maybe with Dante), write in a journal daily, and write a poem. He also writes “make love to Dante,” then crosses it out—but acknowledges he cannot cross out desire from his mind or body.
Key Events
- Ari lifts weights and worries he has no real hobbies.
- He contemplates his constant thoughts about Dante and the danger of being discovered.
- Ari writes a personal goal list, crossing out the guitar because he doubts his ability.
- He includes “make love to Dante” on the list, then physically crosses it out.
- The chapter ends with Ari’s realization that desire cannot be erased by denial.
Character Development
Aristotle (Ari) – This short chapter reveals Ari’s deep insecurity about his own worth. He measures himself harshly against Dante and feels inept. His list shows a desire for self-improvement, but the crossed-out entry exposes his central emotional struggle: he is falling in love with Dante and is terrified of what that means. His acknowledgment that desire lives in his body signals a growing, if painful, self-awareness.
Dante – Though absent from the scene, Dante is the focal point of Ari’s thoughts and desires. He represents talent, confidence, and the object of Ari’s hidden affection.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Secrecy and Survival – Ari compares keeping his sexuality a secret to a hobby, and fighting to a survival gift. The chapter emphasizes the constant vigilance required to hide one’s true self.
Desire as Irrepressible – The image of crossing out “make love to Dante” in ink but being unable to cross it out of his mind illustrates that desire is a force beyond conscious control.
The List as a Window to Identity – Ari’s list is a symbolic attempt to shape his future. The items he keeps (college, reading, journaling) show his aspirations; the item he crosses out shows his deepest, most frightening truth.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter Five is a quiet but pivotal interior moment. Ari stops avoiding his feelings and admits his desire in writing, even if he immediately tries to cancel it. This act foreshadows his eventual need to confront his identity and his relationship with Dante. The chapter deepens the reader’s understanding of Ari’s internal conflict and sets the emotional stakes for the rest of the novel.
Study Questions and Answers
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Why does Ari cross out “Learn to play the guitar” from his list?
He believes he will never be good at it, comparing himself unfavorably to talented musicians like Andrés Segovia or Jimi Hendrix. This reflects his broader lack of confidence and tendency to measure himself against others. -
What does Ari mean when he says “knowing how to fight—that was no hobby. It was a gift I just might need to survive.”
Ari sees fighting as a practical skill for self-defense in a world that may reject him for his sexuality. Unlike hobbies, which are for enjoyment, fighting is a grim necessity for his safety. -
Why does Ari physically cross out “Make love to Dante” but then admit he cannot cross it out of his mind?
Ari is ashamed and afraid of his desire for Dante, so he tries to deny it symbolically. Yet he recognizes that desire is not erased by willpower—it remains a powerful, undeniable part of him.