Chapter Fourteen: Shame and the Wish to Be Alone with Dante
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
In this brief but emotionally dense chapter, Ari reflects on his desire to go away with Dante. He imagines a camping trip where they would be alone among the trees. The fantasy is accompanied by a sharp awareness of shame. Ari worries that their parents would know what they were up to. He does not want to feel ashamed, yet the word “shame” remains lodged in his body, a persistent presence. The chapter captures a moment of internal tension between longing and self-judgment, setting the stage for the couple’s evolving relationship.
Key Events
- Ari pictures taking a camping trip with Dante, dreaming of isolation in nature.
- He acknowledges that their parents might guess the real purpose of the getaway.
- Ari names “shame” as a word that loiters inside him, refusing to leave.
- The chapter ends with this unresolved emotional conflict; no external action occurs.
Character Development
- Ari: Continues to wrestle with his identity and his love for Dante. The chapter deepens his internal struggle: he wants closeness but feels burdened by shame. His self-awareness grows, yet he remains stuck between desire and fear of exposure.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Shame: The central motif. Shame is personified as a word that “loiters” and “clings,” suggesting it is both foreign and intimate. Ari’s shame stems from societal and possibly internalized homophobia.
- Secrecy vs. openness: Ari’s wish to run away implies a desire to hide their relationship from family. The camping fantasy represents a private space, but the fear of being discovered keeps him from acting.
- Nature as escape: The forest symbolizes a world outside judgment, where Ari and Dante can be themselves without observers.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter is a turning point in Ari’s emotional arc. It is the first time he explicitly imagines a future alone with Dante, moving beyond friendship toward a deeper commitment. The shame he feels is not resolved, making his eventual acceptance more poignant. The internal conflict here foreshadows later decisions about coming out and living authentically.
Study Questions and Answers
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Why does Ari want to go camping with Dante specifically?
Ari envisions camping as a way to be isolated with Dante, free from the gaze of parents or society. The woods offer a private sanctuary where they can express their feelings without external shame. -
How does Ari describe his relationship with shame?
He calls shame a word that “clung” to him and “didn’t leave easily.” This language portrays shame as an unwanted inhabitant of his body—something he cannot simply shake off, even when he tries to reject it. -
What does this chapter reveal about Ari’s view of his parents?
Ari fears that his parents would know what he and Dante are “up to,” indicating that he believes they would disapprove or that the truth of his relationship would be obvious to them. This worry fuels his hesitation and his desire to conceal.
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