Chapter 35 Summary: The Year 2009

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

The chapter opens in 2009 with the narrator learning through Shauna that Kendi is enjoying his new job in Houston. Shauna shares little else, and the narrator doesn't ask, assuming Kendi hates her. They haven't spoken since Palo Duro eight months prior.

In December, the narrator caves and texts Kendi asking if he'll be home for Christmas. He will be, and she suggests catching up. He agrees. She hopes they can put the storm-soaked tent behind them.

The day before Christmas Eve, they meet at Cowtown Cup, where the narrator sometimes still works. They order hot drinks amid holiday decorations and a crowded, noisy atmosphere. The narrator orders hot chocolate; Kendi orders decaf coffee, teasing her about coffee not being her favorite. She shushes him, noting she still works there sometimes.

The crowd is too much, so they go outside. It's too cold, so they walk the block. The narrator notes she didn't even have to ask—Kendi knows she hates crowds and cold.

During their walk, she tells him about Davis and applying to nursing school. He's shocked and excited, respectively. He shares about his entry-level aerospace design job, which he looks forward to every day, and his apartment with his friend Jerome, who is about to get married and move out.

The narrator uses this as an opening to ask if he's seeing anyone. He looks down and nods, mentioning Anna. The narrator notes it's not Leah, and thinks this is good—if Kendi is dating someone, they can get back to normal.

He doesn't say much about Anna. Instead, he tells her Shauna and Michael got a puppy, a lab, as an early Christmas present. They're calling it their grandbaby and making pointed comments about not having others. This knocks the narrator off-balance at the thought of Kendi as a father. She remembers him as a little boy, but realizes he's almost twenty-four and could absolutely be a father—and would be a good one.

She asks if he wants kids. He says eventually, explaining that his mom and Michael tried after getting married but it was too late, which is when he realized he wants them someday. He asks if she does. She says she's not going to have any. She clarifies she loves kids but doesn't think she could handle loving her own kids—all the suffering. Understanding washes over him.

They've walked the block three or four times, draining their drinks, averting their eyes from armadillo roadkill each loop. He doesn't ask if she's seeing anybody, which she says is fine because she's not and it doesn't matter.

It's getting late, so she veers toward their cars. She mentions she has a wedding photography job near him in March, in the Woodlands. He congratulates her—she'd told him how hard it is to break into wedding photography. She says she's done a few and is getting referrals. They plan lunch. He offers his place—Jerome's room will be empty—though he notes it might be too far from her site. She considers and agrees, saying they can plan on that. He tells her to text him dates.

He opens his truck door and says they'll talk soon. She asks him to tell his mom and Michael Merry Christmas. They don't hug goodbye, but she inwardly celebrates their progress in navigating the rocky terrain from Palo Duro. She thinks staying with him in Houston will be like old times.

Then, as he climbs into his truck, she checks out his ass without thinking. When she realizes what she's doing, heat floods her face. She's mortified. She tells herself it means nothing—she's a woman, he's a man, he looks good—but they're reestablishing their friendship, and she will not jeopardize that again. She insists it means nothing.

Key Events

The narrator learns from Shauna that Kendi enjoys his Houston job; they haven't spoken since Palo Duro
In December, the narrator texts Kendi and they agree to meet
They meet at Cowtown Cup the day before Christmas Eve; crowds and cold push them to walk the block
The narrator shares news about Davis and nursing school; Kendi shares about his aerospace job and Jerome's upcoming marriage
The narrator asks if Kendi is dating; he mentions Anna
Kendi reveals Shauna and Michael got a puppy they call their grandbaby
They discuss children: Kendi wants them eventually; the narrator says she won't have any due to fear of suffering
The narrator mentions a March wedding photography job in the Woodlands; they plan lunch and possibly staying at his place
They part without hugging; the narrator catches herself checking out Kendi and resolves not to jeopardize the friendship

Character Development

The Narrator: This chapter shows the narrator taking initiative to repair the relationship, texting Kendi first and suggesting they catch up. She demonstrates growth in her career—she's applying to nursing school and getting wedding photography referrals. Her declaration that she won't have children reveals a deep fear of suffering and love intertwined. Her final moment—checking out Kendi and then being mortified—shows her self-awareness and determination to maintain friendship boundaries.

Kendi: Kendi appears more settled and mature, with a job he looks forward to and a clear sense of wanting children someday. His decaf coffee order and teasing about the narrator's coffee preference show comfort and familiarity. He doesn't push the narrator on her decision about children, accepting her explanation with understanding. His offer of his apartment for her March visit shows willingness to rebuild trust.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Reconciliation and Rebuilding Trust: The entire chapter is structured around the narrator and Kendi's careful reconnection after Palo Duro. The neutral meeting place, the walking conversation, and the tentative plans for March all signal a deliberate effort to rebuild.

Fear of Parenthood and Suffering: The narrator's explanation that she loves kids but couldn't handle loving her own amid suffering is the emotional core of the chapter. Kendi's understanding response shows the theme of suffering and love being acknowledged rather than dismissed.

Walking as Conversation: The repeated loops around the block—three or four times—serve as a motif for the circular, careful nature of their conversation. They're literally going in circles while navigating their relationship.

Aging and Maturity: The narrator's realization that Kendi is almost twenty-four and could be a father—contrasted with her memory of him as a little boy—highlights the theme of growing up and the passage of time.

Unspoken Attraction: The narrator's final moment of checking out Kendi, followed by her insistence that it means nothing, underscores the tension between friendship and romance that runs through the chapter.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter marks a significant turning point in the narrator and Kendi's relationship. After eight months of silence following Palo Duro, they begin the slow work of reconciliation. The chapter establishes their new dynamic—older, more settled, with careers and clearer life plans—while showing the narrator's internal struggle to keep the relationship platonic. The March visit to Houston is set up as a future plot point, and the narrator's decision about children adds depth to her character and her worldview shaped by suffering.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does the narrator decide to text Kendi in December, and what does this reveal about her?

The narrator caves and texts Kendi after eight months of silence, suggesting she's been thinking about him and the rift between them. This shows she's willing to take the first step toward reconciliation, prioritizing their friendship over her pride or fear of rejection.

2. How does the narrator's explanation about not wanting children reflect her broader worldview?

She says she loves kids but couldn't handle loving her own kids because of all the suffering. This connects to her experiences and her understanding of love as intertwined with pain. Kendi's immediate understanding suggests he knows her well enough to grasp this without further explanation.

3. What does the narrator's final moment—checking out Kendi—reveal about her state of mind?

Despite her insistence that it means nothing, the moment reveals lingering attraction that she's actively suppressing. Her mortification and her repeated self-justifications show she's aware of the risk to their friendship and is determined not to repeat past mistakes.