Dream Love: Motel — Chapter 87 Summary and Analysis
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
⚠️ This summary and analysis contains details about Chapter 87 of Me by Amber McBride. If you haven't read the chapter yet, you may want to do so first.
Summary
In this brief, lyrical chapter titled “Dream Love: Motel,” the speaker slips into a dream that is both tender and unsettling. The dream begins with the speaker tracing the column of Sani’s spine, which appears taller when traced and is laced with black and gray tattoos. The act of tracing is intimate, and the speaker’s hands move over Sani’s body as his hands touch her hands, her eyes, and “everywhere.” This sensory immersion makes the speaker feel intensely alive, repeating the word “Alive” three times to emphasize the overwhelming vitality of the moment.
The dream shifts abruptly when Sani begins kissing green moths out of his mouth, one after another, and then starts choking. The image is surreal and disturbing, breaking the earlier warmth. The speaker wakes up to find Sani asleep beside her, breathing more heavily than usual, still clothed. She notices that Sani is also dreaming, and his dream involves hands touching him everywhere—a mirror of her own dream, suggesting a shared or parallel dreamscape.
The chapter is a single, fragmented poem that captures the fragility of intimacy and the thin boundary between dream and reality. It offers no dialogue or action beyond these dream images, relying instead on sensory detail and emotional resonance.
Key Events
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The speaker dreams of tracing Sani’s spine, which appears taller when traced and is marked with black and gray tattoos.
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In the dream, Sani’s hands touch the speaker’s hands, eyes, and body, making her feel intensely alive.
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The dream turns dark when Sani kisses green moths from his mouth, one after another, and begins choking.
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The speaker wakes up to find Sani asleep beside her, breathing more heavily than usual and still clothed.
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The speaker observes that Sani is also dreaming, and his dream involves hands touching him everywhere.
Character Development
This chapter deepens our understanding of both the speaker and Sani through the lens of dreams. The speaker’s dream reveals her profound emotional and physical connection to Sani. Tracing his spine and feeling his touch is not just a physical act; it is an act of devotion and familiarity. The repetition of “Alive” suggests that this connection is what makes her feel fully present and real. The shift to the choking moths introduces a note of anxiety, hinting at a fear of losing Sani or of something suffocating entering their bond.
Sani, though asleep, is also shown to be dreaming of hands touching him everywhere. This mirrors the speaker’s dream and suggests that their intimacy is mutual and perhaps even telepathic or spiritual. Sani’s heavy breathing and clothed state indicate a physical vulnerability—he is not in control of his own dream, just as the speaker is not in control of hers. This chapter humanizes Sani, showing him as someone who also experiences intense inner life and desire, rather than just being an object of the speaker’s affection.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Dream vs. Reality: The chapter deliberately blurs the line between dream and waking life. The speaker’s dream feels more real than reality—she feels “alive” only in the dream. When she wakes, she immediately observes Sani’s own dreaming, suggesting that their dream states are as significant as their waking interactions. This motif raises questions about what is true and what is imagined in their relationship.
Green Moths: The green moths are a striking and mysterious symbol. They emerge from Sani’s mouth, which is an intimate and vulnerable act, but they quickly become a choking hazard. Moths are often associated with transformation, fragility, or attraction to light. Here, they may represent the delicate and fleeting nature of their connection, or they could symbolize something that is beautiful but suffocating. The choking motif introduces a sense of danger and loss, contrasting sharply with the earlier feeling of being alive.
Tattoos as Identity Markers: Sani’s spine is “laced with black & gray tattoos.” These tattoos are part of his identity, and the speaker’s act of tracing them suggests a deep familiarity and acceptance of who he is. The tattoos also make his body unique and memorable, reinforcing the idea that the speaker knows him intimately.
Physical Intimacy and Touch: Touch is the central sensory experience in this chapter. The speaker’s hands on Sani’s spine, Sani’s hands on her body, and the hands in Sani’s dream all emphasize the importance of physical connection. Touch is what makes the speaker feel alive, and it is also what appears in Sani’s dream, suggesting that touch is a language of love and vulnerability.
Vitality and Feeling Alive: The repetition of “Alive” underscores the theme of vitality. The speaker feels most alive when she is connected to Sani, even in a dream. This suggests that their relationship is a source of life and energy, but the choking image warns that this vitality can be threatened.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter 87 is a pivotal moment in the emotional arc of Me. It crystallizes the intensity of the speaker’s feelings for Sani and reveals that their connection transcends the physical world, entering the realm of shared dreams. The chapter also introduces a note of foreboding through the choking moths, hinting at potential loss or danger that may unfold later in the narrative. By placing the reader inside the speaker’s dream, the chapter deepens our empathy for her and makes the stakes of her relationship with Sani feel urgent and real.
The brevity of the chapter—just a few lines—makes its imagery all the more potent. It functions as a poetic interlude that slows down time and forces the reader to sit with the emotions. It also establishes a pattern of dream sequences that may recur, suggesting that the boundary between the characters’ inner lives and their shared reality is porous.
Study Questions and Answers
1. What does the act of tracing Sani’s spine reveal about the speaker’s relationship with him?
Tracing Sani’s spine is an intimate, deliberate act that shows the speaker’s deep familiarity with his body. The fact that the spine appears “taller when traced” suggests that the speaker’s attention magnifies him, making him larger in her perception. The tattoos on his spine are part of his identity, and the speaker’s willingness to trace them indicates acceptance and love. This act reveals a relationship built on physical closeness and emotional investment, where the speaker knows Sani not just as a person but as a physical presence.
2. How does the image of green moths and choking contrast with the earlier feelings of being alive?
The earlier part of the dream is filled with warmth and vitality—the speaker feels “alive” three times, and the touch is gentle and affirming. The green moths, however, introduce a jarring, surreal element. They come out of Sani’s mouth, which is a vulnerable and intimate orifice, but they quickly become a choking hazard. This contrast suggests that the very thing that gives life—intimacy and connection—can also become suffocating or dangerous. The moths may represent the fragility of their bond or the fear that their love could be overwhelmed by something external. The choking image is a stark reminder that joy and fear are often intertwined.
3. What is the significance of Sani dreaming of hands touching him everywhere?
Sani’s dream mirrors the speaker’s own dream, where hands are also everywhere. This parallel suggests that their connection is mutual and perhaps even telepathic—they are dreaming the same dream or experiencing similar sensations. It also reveals that Sani, who is often portrayed as guarded or mysterious, has his own desires and vulnerabilities. The hands in his dream could represent his longing for connection or his feeling of being overwhelmed by external forces. The fact that he is “clothed” in the waking world but dreaming of touch suggests a contrast between his outer appearance and his inner life. This moment humanizes Sani and deepens the reader’s understanding of his character.
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